[blue_eyes87]

Im having some pretty tough relationship troubles and would really appreciate any advice I can get.

My boyfriend and I started dating back in January and everything was great between but we were only together a month and he completely shut me out of his life with no explanation at all as to what I did wrong, wouldn't return my phone calls or texts and deleted me as a friend on Facebook and a couple weeks later I found out he was seeing someone else and moved on with my life.

Now after 2 months of not hearing from him at all he calls me and wants a chance to explain and I let him, and he says that the reason he shut me out of his life is because he had went through a rough patch in his life (lost his job, got involved pretty heavily into drugs) and he didn't want me to have to deal with that, that I had a good job, good life and I deserved someone better then that. But, now he has cleaned up his life, got a good job and got himself away from the drugs and he wanted a second chance.

So I decided to give him a second chance and for the first week things were really great between us again, but the last couple of days he has seemed kind of distant again, showing up late, not answering text messages and I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if he's going to shut me out of his life again. Should I just wait it out and see what happens or was I a fool for giving this guy a second chance in the first place?

[Romefalls19]

I wouldn't have given him a second chance, I don't do second chances. He is already screwing things up and falling into the old pattern. I'd talk to him and tell him it won't be tolerated and if it continues, you have a decision to make.

[mudweiser]

I wouldn't have even given him the time to explain himself. What is there to explain? That's he's a druggy loser?

As far as him cleaning up from the drugs it takes time. If he is doing it on his own it's actually harder; and I can see that he's already falling back into his old self. If he's getting help then they would've told him not to get involved in any romantic relationships. Only because he needs to focus on himself and learn to stand on his own two feet and not have a crutch.

I hope you choose to walk away instead of going through cycles with a guy like that...

[I wish]

Regardless of his disappearing acts, his drug addition and lack of confidence, those are his problems, let's focus on YOU.

Is that really the type of relationship you want to be in? Do you really want to wake up every morning wondering if he's going to disappear today?

That kind of insecurity is definitely not healthy. Why put yourself through so much suffering? You should find a person whom you can feel secure and happy with.

[Lucky098]

The first round was a no-go. You found the reasons.. now he's doing it again.

How many chances are you going to give him? Its fine you gave him a second chance. Sounds like a lot was going wrong in his life. The only problem is, he hasn't changed. Maybe he's not doing drugs, maybe he found a job... The result is, he's still a jerk that can't commit. He doesn't even have the common courtesy to tell you that he was seeing someone else. Do you honestly thing thats going to change? I don't think so.

You can't fault someone's personality. You two just aren't a match. No shame in that. You'll find someone you can be compatible with as will he. Move on with your life. Leave him. Don't give him any more chances. You already gave him one too many.

[talaniman]

So he dumped you for someone else, used drugs, probably got dumped himself and came back to you and is acting weird again.

Dump him, and give no more chances. Let him deal with his own issues by himself, whatever they are. Don't make them your issues.

Talaniman Rule- Never let them break your heart TWICE! Didn't it hurt enough the first time?

Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, why go back, and get dumped again.