[Cracking10]

Recently I have been feeling utterly horrible, I have been crying for hours at a time for no particular reason, getting angry at the smallest things, hurting the people around me, hurting myself and have evev thought of doing worse to myself than just injuring. I have been to see a doctor on various occasions but each time she has told me she doesn't see what could be wrong with me or why and sends me away. I really need help, I'm losing the people closest to me. My boyfriend is an inch away from breaking up with me because he can't deal with me and I'm constantly being angry at everyone for nothing. What can I do?

[Wondergirl]

I want you to find a reputable professional counselor and make an appointment. When you see your doctor, you are on your best behavior, so it's no wonder the doctor, who deals more with the physical part of us, sees nothing wrong.

The umbrella symptom seems to be depression, a profound sadness over something in your life or something about yourself. A good counselor/therapist will ask you questions that will pull this out of you and then help you set daily/weekly/monthly goals to defeat it.

Has anything happened to you recently or changed in your life lately?

[Cracking10]

One of my family's close friends died last September, she was 22 and that messed me up a fair bit.
I also have really bad self image and self worth issues, I can admit to that, but this is a fairly recent feeling that has risen. I have only felt like this for maybe the last 4 months or so.

[Clough]

Hi, Cracking10!

If you'd like to, I have some activities that I like to do with people on this site that can help them to feel better about themselves.

Please let me know on this thread, if you're interested in knowing what they are and maybe participating in them.

Thanks!

[Cracking10]

Hey,

Yeah I'm willing to try anything.

[artlady]

If you are having feelings of harming yourself ,you need to express that to the doctor with conviction and if you still do not receive help,I would change doctors.

I do not know your age but if you are in school you might benefit from talking to a counselor or a school nurse.
They may be able to point you in the right direction.

I also think you could benefit from working with the above expert (Clough) as he is very good at helping you find an outlet for your depression.

Do not give up and continue to seek help,you know yourself better than anyone and if you are feeling depressed you owe it to yourself to stand up for yourself and get the help you need and deserve.

[I wish]

If you're willing to try anything, then you should definitely extend your arm out and search for help.

You can start by talking to people who are close to you, such as family, friends or mentor. Don't be afraid to lean on them for support.

Then, I strongly suggest that you seek professional help. It would be great for you to also have a neutral person helping you out. Someone who does not know your past, so they won't be biased in helping you, and at the same time, they have had professional training in helping people.

You can always come back here and vent with us. We are also willing to lend a support shoulder to lean on.

All these recommendations are a start, this is going to take time, so the key thing for you is to be patient with yourself. Take it one step at the time. But contiually move forward and make progress. Progress will help you feel better about yourself too, so it's a win/win.

If you hit a bump on the road, there's no need to beat yourself up. Just pick yourself back up and keep going!

[Clough]

Originally posted by artlady

Good idea ,I have seen you work so well with others in this way.

Hey thanks, artlady!

Nice to see you back in action here! :)

[Gemini54]

Can I suggest that you need to change doctors? She clearly isn't listening, or perhaps you're not telling her exactly how bad you feel and that you've been hurting yourself.

As other posters have said, it's really important that you find a counselor or therapist and get to the bottom of these feelings of anger, rage and despair.

What you're going through sounds awful but I believe that if you make the effort to speak with an objective outsider it will really make a difference.

In the meantime, be honest with your BF and the people around you and let them know you're going through a really bad time. Ask them to be patient with you and more importantly, make a big effort to be patient with them. Remember that they love you and that you love them.

[Fr_Chuck]

And what type of doctor, a MD for medical problems, or a couselor for emotional issues

[Clough]

hey,

yeah I'm willing to try anything.

Are you into the creative arts of any kind, like music, visual (painting, drawing, sculpture... ), theatrical, dance, writing, etc.

Thanks!