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    mred's Avatar
    mred Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 4, 2010, 04:27 PM
    Want my revenge on my unfaithful ex but he makes me feel sorry when I do
    It was hard accepting the breakup with my ex and finally (hopefully) moving on. He had made it easy for us to break up by lying that he wants us apart because he couldn't resist making love to me and that violates his faith by committing fornication (since we're not married). He had a brought a woman to our apartment before and made me believe that he just saved the woman 's life because she was endangered in some billiard hangout. Populated by bad guys. I didn't exactly buy his story but somehow my remaining love for him made me a fool that in the end I would still wish him well and worry about him. You see, he's a foreigner in my home country. He recently got baptized in his new religion (which we both believe in). I thought his new faith and baptism would straighten him out until I had to go back to the old apartment we shared to get something and there I saw so many long hair strands on his bed obviously from a girl and somebody moving so much in bed practically all areas of the bed were filled with hair. I felt a sense of overwhelming disgust thinking that this guy had been lying at the outset and would appear to be very honorable guy in his new congregation. I want to make him feel sorry about what he's done but it seems every time I text him (like my discovery that he had been sleeping with women), he either shuts me off or say negative things like Im showing disrespect. I want to take full ownership of our apartment because he's defiling it with his womanizing but he would threaten me about it. I want to report him to his congregation elders so he would be disciplined and disfellowshipped if needed. Please help me put this man down.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #2

    May 4, 2010, 04:53 PM

    Hello Mred,

    First off, why waste such energy on someone who clearly doesn't want to be with you. He is a fool! Do not be one too! You seem better than that...

    What he did was hurtful and cruel, there is no doubt about that, but why even stoop down to his level and try to "put this man down".

    You know what his punishment will be? Is not being able to be with YOU ever again, to hold, to kiss, to caress, to confide in, to laugh with, to smile with, NOTHING!

    In time he will see his BAD mistake! That alone will be his punishment. Karma is a B!tch!

    Please do not text or try to reach him. It will seem way too desperate on your part, and why give him that bit of satisfaction.

    I know you feel hurt and betrayed, but in time this too shall pass, and you will find that special someone that you and he both deserve.

    Until then, let him dig his own hole.

    Good luck.
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    May 4, 2010, 05:05 PM

    I know you are feeling hurt and angry but seeking revenge is not the best way of moving on.

    In a previous post you said you were trying to move on from this relationship back in March, yet you are still texting him and going back to the apartment looking for evidence. This is really not the way to help yourself move on.

    In several posts you say you are desperate to meet Mr Right, you fell for a married man at one point, and someone in a relationship at another, then this last man you met on the internet and started and maintained a relationship with despite serious misgivings.

    I think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself to get that perfect relationship and cannot move on from one that didn't work out. Can you work out why this is so important to you? I mean, of course we all want to find someone special but you seem like this has become a really big issue for you.

    Stop contacting your ex and wondering who he is or isn't sleeping with. It's not your problem anymore. You need to make a clean break and try to really move on, this is not the way to do that. Then try and spend a little time enjoying your own life and not worrying so much about finding Mr Right. I'm sure if you learn to relax about the whole thing, and just enjoy meeting people and getting to know them, the right person for you will become evident in time.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    May 4, 2010, 06:01 PM
    Revenge is a dish best served cold.

    The best revenge is for you to move on and move him out of your life. Is there any better revenge than shutting such a liar, cheater and hypocrite out of your life?

    A man like this is not deserving of your attention or time. Why would you waste one more breath on such a worm?

    Sadly, there are people in church congregations just like him - you 'outing' him will just make you look like a shrew.

    If you're worried about ownership of the apartment, which is a reasonable concern, speak to a solicitor. You may as well get the right advice and then the solicitor can deal with him rather than you.

    That's your revenge.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    May 4, 2010, 07:42 PM

    It will only make you look worst and by doing this, you will keep him on your mind and take longer to get over.

    Move on.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #6

    May 6, 2010, 11:09 AM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/religi...on-469254.html
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #7

    May 6, 2010, 12:10 PM

    Revenge does no one any good and playing "gotcha" is childish.
    The best way to get back at him is to live well, be happy. He will get his soon enough.

    No more calling or texting him. Put your energy towards getting your life together.
    Today is a new day. Walk in it.

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