[KathrynS]

Ok - so my husband is never home (I mean like maybe 1-2 days every 6-8 weeks) due to his work. I am SO horny and the toy store is not doing it for me. I was thinking of a boy toy but not had the guts to ask the guy since we work together. Any ideas?

[Fr_Chuck]

Why are the toy store not doing it ?

What type of work does hubby do ( truck driver perhaps)

[KathrynS]

Rubber just isn't the same as warm flesh... I get excited, but can't get quite done :(

[Fr_Chuck]

To fully get the best answers, and other relationship and sex experts will be coming and reading over the next few days.

What does hubby do over the time away, is he allowed girl toys to visit ? Is there some agreement the two of you have.

[KathrynS]

To fully get the best answers, and other relationship and sex experts will be coming and reading over the next few days.

What does hubby do over the time away, is he allowed girl toys to visit ? Is there some agreement the two of you have.

No agreement and he does not much of anything. He has said before he would not sleep with anyone else, but I'm considering it. Due to his schedule he pretty much is working or sleeping (even on breaks, he sleeps) so from what he's told me, he's just pretty "down" while away. I'm the one who is crawling up the walls - in particular on weekends, I'm home alone and have the energy to go, but no one to go with...

[ajGambino]

I have an idea: Don't cheat on your husband.

There are a lot of things you can do with all that built up energy. It's not just sexual energy, it can be a mix of a lot more. Before you go and create problems, try to do something else that voids the urges to sleep with another man.

[Alty]

No agreement and he does not much of anything. He has said before he would not sleep with anyone else, but I'm considering it. Due to his schedule he pretty much is working or sleeping (even on breaks, he sleeps) so from what he's told me, he's just pretty "down" while away. I'm the one who is crawling up the walls - in particular on weekends, I'm home alone and have the energy to go, but no one to go with...

Why not ask him if it's okay if you have sex with other men? If you don't, then you're cheating.

There's more to a marriage then sex. Do you work? Maybe you need to find some activities to keep you more active, less likely to sit at home crawling up the walls waiting for him.

Have you told him how you feel? Have you made any effort to fix things between the two of you?

Intimacy is important, but cheating isn't the answer.

[Gemini54]

So what keeps you with him?

I'm not being provocative, I'm just interested. He's rarely home, you don't have sex - what holds you together?

It sounds as if you're missing more than just the sex.

Bonking someone else because you feel horny won't help the marriage - so, go ahead if the marriage isn't that important and your husband agrees, but if it's important it's time to think creatively with your mind, not your you know what.

Perhaps it's time for him to seriously consider a change of job.

[Cat1864]

How old are you?
How long have you been married?
How long has this working/living arrangement been going on?
How is sex with your husband when he is home?

I agree that you need to find other outlets for what you are seeing as sexual frustration. I would suggest something that involves your whole body like gardening, exercising, wood working, etc. If you have a dog, training and exercising the animal can be a great outlet. For that matter getting involved in your community can be a great outlet.

As for the sexual release, don't go immediately for the toy. Like with a partner, get your mind into the act. Use your brain to excite your body to the point where the toy is just added fun. When my husband and I have been through periods of being apart, I have written down my fantasies for him. It gets my mind really into thinking about it and gives him some pleasure too.

If it is the non-sexual side of intimacy (such as talking and cuddling) that you are missing, can you connect with him through email, I'm, by phone, etc.

[excon]

how to deal with horniness when husband is never home?

Hello K:

Ask your husband to quit his job so you can be satisfied.

excon

[Fr_Chuck]

excon has a good point, you can work to support the family for now, while he stays home and looks for another job. Is this a option that could work, If his travel is the issue, Does he know this is such a issue for you ?

[stevicus82]

When my wife and I were physically apart(I was in the Army), our relationship survived through the phone, IM. Have you thought of getting webcams for you both, it helps tremendously.

[slapshot_oi]

So what keeps you with him?

This is a good question.

It ain't fair that he's away most of the time, but still, that's no excuse to cheat, there's never an excuse to cheat. You could at least ask him to change jobs or end the marriage, it's a fair request.