[SouthernBelle06]

Hi guys.

I appreciate all the great advice you have given me on my other threads. You all know about the ex that dumped me for another girl, but wouldn't leave me alone and contacted me a few weeks ago with the fabulous news of him now living with this girl and upsetting me? Well after he did that I sent him a short... but as polite as I could muster... email letting him know I wasn't going to be his "friend" and then I blocked his email address.

Then today I got to thinking that sometimes when an email account is blocked, it will give the sender a notice that they have been blocked. My question is, if my ex received a "blocked" notice if he replied to my email or in attempts to contact me in the future... does that make me look angry, bitter, and vengeful? Or would it be best to just let him think I am receiving his emails but not replying? I started to think that if he knows I went to the trouble of blocking him, I look like I care too much and am angry... Not sure which makes me look the least bad here... letting him know he's been blocked or making him think I'm receiving his emails, reading them, but deliberately not replying?

I know a lot of you will probably say, "Who cares what he thinks?" That's probably best, but it's just that myself esteem has been crushed by this situation enough already, I just want to maintain as much dignity as I can here. I don't want him looking at me as the angry, bitter ex who can't handle talking to him and had to block him. Any opinions?

[J_9]

Yup, your right Belle, who cares what he thinks. As long as you are not contacting him, and not receiving from him, you are better off.

We always advise blocking e-mails, phone calls, or changing your phone number should the situation be necessary.

You are doing the right thing. Keep it up!!

[Bluerose]

Or you could have emails go direct to junk-mail it gets deleted every few days. That we he doesn't know you are not getting or reading his emails. He is trying to get a reaction out of you but if you don't read them there is nothing to react to, and he will soon get fed up.

[Saintas]

Now the done is done . And I think is for better . And really "Who cares what he thinks?"

[imation]

Yeah block him. If you don't want to talk to someone that's why you block them, and you don't want to be talking to him, so block away.

[LUNAGODDESS]

I have nosy children and they will tell their father what I am saying on line, so, do I care... no... does he care... yes... and can he do anything about it... no

There are things that are out of your control and that is what he says to others about you. So what! He wants to control you duh. And is successful at controlling you. You got him calling you a name and you accept it not a good move

bitter woman

If, he does not have a life then of course he will be checking to see why you blocked his email.

Change your email address. Why would you want to keep him contacting you? Oh was that secret (smile)... just change the email address and notify others (ex-include him) of the change. Then yell free at last... free at last thank GOD almighty I am free at last! Then, go out and get a manicure and pedicure and a facial and a hot rock massage and drink something hot like hot chocolate with whipping cream and sprinkle some cinnamon on it or something that includes inviting Johnny Walker or Jack Daniels over with some of your girl friends (very thing in moderation).

[ordinaryguy]

Sigh! You're still wasting your precious life wondering how HE's taking it and trying to guess what HE thinks. Your self-esteem is not something HE can crush, no matter what he thinks. That's why they call it SELF-esteem. Get it? Please, stop obsessing about HIM and place your attention where it can actually do some good--on yourself, and how to become happy, healthy and self-confident.

[Allheart]

Hi Southern,

I am 100% in agreement with OG with all that he said. Isn't that a great point?? It's SELF esteem.

And you knew we all were going to say... WHO CARES what he thinks. But, you still do, even just a little bit, and I do understand. Don't feel bad about that, actually be darn proud of yourself for blocking his Email!! Darn proud.

Noooo I would not say it makes you look angry. To me, I think it makes it look as though,
"I truly do not want to be bothered with you. I said what I had to say and I have nothing further to say"

Not angry at all.

Good for you. Be happy with yourself!! You done good!

[SINGLE4]

No... (to answer your question). Blocking his e-mails does not make you look bad. He wasn't too bright in e-mailing you an "update" on his life so he probably won't "get it" anyway. You did the right thing. Stick with your decision!

Take Care!

[Wildcat21]

Blocking will help you recover from that jerk.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Aware of your previous threads!

My advice!

Block him!

If he was not such a P**t then I would probably just say, well leave it, who cares, just don't reply..

But he is not worth your time (and I mean, not one second of it)

It will help you recover if you block him or perhaps change your e-mail address as someone else suggested, much better if this is practical and possible.

If you are still worrying about what he thinks and feels, then like Ordinary said, it boils down to self-esteem.

You deserve so much better than him and you don't even realise it (or maybe you do? )

Regardless, cut this ******* out of your life for good!!

[s_cianci]

You might want to try bluerose's suggestion. Instead of going through the trouble of blocking him, just move any messages of his to your spam folder. That way he'll think you're getting them but just not bothering to respond, when in reality you're never seeing them, just as though they were blocked ; just don't forget to click your "Empty Spam" button occasionally. You basically get the best of both worlds that way. That way he'll keep wasting his time and energy sending you e-mails. Whereas, if you block him, once he realizes he's blocked, he won't bother sending you any more e-mails. So, let him waste his time and energy sending you e-mails that you're never seeing.

[talaniman]

does that make me look angry, bitter, and vengeful?

Why do you care what he thinks? I would not give him the satisfaction of doing that sent me out my way and would send a strong message he was blocked. He'll get the message.

[SouthernBelle06]

Thanks for all of your advice again everyone. I decided to just let his emails go to spam and be deleted before I ever even receive them. This way he won't know that I cared enough to go to the trouble to block him. He'll just think that I'm ignoring him and hopefully that I just can't be bothered with him anymore. Also I won't see any of them and be tempted to reply.

Why do I care what he thinks? Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking about all of that lately. I think that deep down I do still care for him somewhat. That is, at least I care about the guy I used to know when he and I were together. I think that I didn't get as angry at him over what he did as I got angry at myself and blamed me... even though I really did try to make this situation work. It wasn't very constructive of me to think this way, but it's true though.

Also, I care what he thinks because I feel like the only type of "revenge" (for lack of a better word) that I will ever get in this situation after how badly he hurt me is if he looks back at me in a positive way when and if (hopefully) the situation he is now in blows up in his face. I can only hope that because of karma or because what goes around comes around, he may get a similar broken heart as he gave to me, etc, etc. I suppose it's normal to think this way when you are dumped for someone else and have been hurt. I don't know. I just didn't want this ex to think of me as some psycho stalker ex of his that he is glad to be rid of. I just want to be thought of as someone with class and dignity and be someone he may regret letting go of one day.

I never sought revenge on my ex before this one, but I did see karma come back to him in a big way... he wound up in a terrible relationship with the girl he cheated on me with and even wound up in jail... all of his own doing. He tried to get back together with me even while he was with her, but I would have none of it. It all helped to get me over him anyway.

[valinors_sorrow]

Forgive me for coming in so late to this thread but... I am not sure he gets a notice that his email is blocked like it does when you block someone's phone number from ringing your phone. My experience with both suggests that, unless there are differing arrangements with all the different email providers so I wonder if you are sure about that? And even if it did, it just means he gives up sending anything that much sooner. And lastly, revenge is a karma thing too, so you might want to consider that in all this too Belle.

The real issue here is... you won't be bothered with him anymore at some point but you can't be there when you aren't there yet. No one can.

Ony then will you see that what he thought leading up to that moment didn't make a difference one way or the other.

The test that you still aren't there yet is... you still think about what he thinks.

Flipping over the record and playing the other side is not the same as not playing the record at all. In other words The opposite of love ins't hate (or revenge)... its indifference. Love and hate are both emotional attachements... when what you seek, I believe, is no attachments.

Just a few thoughts.

[s2tp]

I understand how you felt about him thinking you were being angry by blocking him... but like everyone else has said here... you shouldn't care so much. He has moved on, he even went so far as to tell you about his new girl... well you have every right to move on and liberate yourself from him. If by blocking his emails hurts his feelings... well guess what, he will get over it. You sent him an email explaining you didn't want to hear it... that was clue enough, and if he tried to email you again... well then HE has to deal with it.

You did the right thing by blocking him... it must have been a big step for you to know you would not be able to get any more of his 'junk'. I can understand the wanting to send his stuff to the junk folder... but that may still entice you to check for mail from him... maybe even hoping to hear something whether it be positive or negative. I don't think you should put yourself through that. By blocking him he was out... you were not waiting on anything... but if its in the junk... hes still there... lingering. Does that all make sense?

Well great job and Best of Luck!

[SouthernBelle06]

Actually, s2tp, I changed the settings on my email account to where only emails from my contacts reach me... all others are deleted and I never even see them. Of course I removed him from my contacts and any email he attempts to send will be deleted and not even be in a junk or spam folder. Therefore I can't check anywhere for his emails, they won't reach me.

I just didn't want him to receive some kind of error upon sending email notice that I had gone to the trouble to "block" him... as if I cared so much and couldn't handle reading his emails or something. I wanted to protect myself from being further strung along by him and at the same time not be temped to read anything and then feel like I'm being "mean" by not replying. I'm not a mean person by nature. That's what got me into still being all upset over this guy for as long as I have been really.

[s2tp]

I just want to add that I am just like you in that manner... I hate seeming like a mean or vengeful person, no matter if others think I have every right to..

Again, really good idea with the auto-delete... I will have to remember that one :)