[KhanhHa]

Hi all,

Last night, I has been checking of my fiancé email and I was shock when I know that he has another email address with only women names in the contact list.

We know each other from 10 months ago, and been in love for 2 months, get engaged 2 months ago.
I am Vietnamese, he is Canadian...

I was really shock when I saw some newest emails he sent to his ex girlfriends at the X-mas ( happened after he start to love me for 2 weeks) with love and passion letters and their old photo to said how pain he is... He still keep all of her email and I can feel that his love for her are so deep and he say the true to me that they destroyed their relationship because his had similar problem with ex girlfriend while loves her as well

Not only that. I even know that he still contact with many women at a few dating sites with flirts... just before he gave me engaged ring 3 weeks... even his dating sites account are hiding since he gave me a ring...

But I can see the last email he sent to a women at 17, march too...

I don't know what to do now, I don't want loose him even I wanted to break this relationship, and I did say that, but I am so in love with him, so I did refused my decided so fast after his appoligize

To be honest, I am not looking for men since I accept his love, I want to spend all of my feeling, my love for him and only him but why he treat me like that?

He is still sweet to me, but I felt that he still want to continue to do that again, that's his drug when seeking women in the dating sites, I think.

I am beautiful, attractive and intelligent, tender but I don't know why he still want to have another women? Can I believe his appoligize and forgive him or breaking this? I know that breaking this relationship will destroy my heart, but right now after his appoligize, I still feel so sad, I feeling lost something precious, I don't feel believe at him too much, that feeling also destroy my sweet feeling for him, I feel dissapointed, I don't want my life will be bad after marry...

Please give me any advice...

[LearningAsIGo]

My advice is to slow down.

You may be engaged, but this is a new relationship. You haven't known each other quite a year yet -- do you spend large amounts of time together? I'm curious if you really know each other well enough to determine if this is a habit of his he is willing to break -- or if he will continue with these other relationships after you are married. Pre-marriage counseling might be a good idea.

[sully123]

I wouldn't invest anymore time in the relationship. Engagement was way too fast, and I am sure if you dig deeper you will find out a lot more about this man. Move on, and find someone you can trust and who loves you.

[KhanhHa]

My advice is to slow down.

You may be engaged, but this is a new relationship. You haven't known each other quite a year yet -- do you spend large amounts of time together? I'm curious if you really know each other well enough to determine if this is a habit of his he is willing to break -- or if he will continue with these other relationships after you are married. Pre-marriage counseling might be a good idea.

Thank you for your advice, I hope everything are good now, but I know that I never forgive again if I know that he will betray at me...

I wouldn't invest anymore time in the relationship. Engagement was way too fast, and I am sure if you dig deeper you will find out alot more about this man. Move on, and find someone you can trust and who loves you.

Yes, you are right, that's what I did when I were so angry with him, but right now, I giving him a chance to remove everything from now on, and I forgive him already because last couple days, he seem clean with the worst things, I hope I never have again the same feeling of pain, hurt because of his lies. And I wish my calm down are the right thing at this moment?

[vanheart]

"happened after he start to love me for 2 weeks"

Just communicate to him as much as you can.
Let him know how you feel & ask him.

You do not know each other yet.

10 months and love in 2 months?

Just enjoy each other, don't stress.

[KhanhHa]

He were causing his own toxicity in the relationship. I am sure, he has feelings for me and for them as well, and is confused on things. I know I have to live my own life and own my own choices... but I'd say the chances of mine getting back together and it being different long term are slim because big heartache... and the chances of my fiancé hurting me back again while keeping in contact with his ex and his women is high, I don't know that how many women in his another email yet, and I am not sure he doesn't have anyone else? That why now I feel more scared that he won't change, it may be more a fear of commitment, maybe my fiancé don't know how to value my love yet, But I don’t want to keep his name out of my vocabulary. I also never want he will be in my past if I can stronger. Mainly brought on by his own immaturity and playing games at serious moment of love. I hope never have one day I will say to myself: “why did I every even give him the time of the day. The day will come, just continue on the path I am going, I know I can make my mind up to not allow myself to feel this pain any longer.

I want to try to believe that As long as I keep going over the hurt and the pain, I will not become the victim of that agony. Someone told me: “My advice would just to go no contact and avoid him. You should go no contact and save yourself the pain and the confusion. Why hang around waiting for him to break your heart a second time? Move on,and start healing.

Someone said: “Make a conscious choice to not stay stuck in that mentality. That is quite the ordeal, contact with me like a good friend when you need to!! Give me a lot of hope :-) There are so many guys around the world interested in you, I am sure, so, don’t be late!
Someone told me that : “Just remember you are a better person than him! Remind yourself, of what that man has put you through. The abuse and cheat he is. I shouldn't even call him a man, he doesn't even deserve that title. If he want the 'single life' to have more time to seeking more women? Oh, wow, let him free, LOL, your guy really crazy when have a precious diamond but doesn’t need to keep. Just seems to me he has zero clue what he really want. Toxic man! he would never have a real love until he stop his very bad drug and he's just messing with your head, he even doesn’t know he breaking up the woman that him will be forever regret.”
So I know, everybody want me to have a good choose before everything become late. Thank you very much

[talaniman]

We know each other from 10 months ago, and been in love for 2 months, get engaged 2 months ago.
I am Vietnamese, he is Canadian...

Too much, too fast, you will crash and burn, because you are moving to fast, instead of getting to really know the guy at all, or he you.

I think you step way back, and take a better look into this before you trust a guy after only 10 months. I doubt he trust or cares for you as much and the biggest red flag is that you can't talk about it together.

Then you don't have to assume, and presume, just get the facts, and figure out what to do with them.