[ratss_5403]

When I first went out with this guy, I realized he is the love of my life. He loved me for what I was. But then I was too possessive about him, and never gave him the space he wanted. And he too never complained until this came up during a fight, when it was not my mistake at all. He started saying things like am not the right girl for him, I won't keep him happy, all that stuff. He had also started to talk to another girl on the phone. He also started saying things like she is better than me.and I couldn't stand it. I went to his house and begged to take me back. And then he took me in his arms and hugged me tight and said he won't talk to that girl again. And yes he didn't,and that he started it only because he couldn't find the girl in me he fell in love with. I returned home happily.since then whenever things went wrong between us, he starts giving me bad words and says he'll talk to that girl. And starts emotionally torturing me and asks me to leave him then I go crawling to him ask for forgiveness even if its not my mistake. Then again things come to its place. And the vicious cycle continues. Since then there have been lots of breakups and makeups. But I lost the person in him, who used to care for me and love me madly.

Recently after going through the Internet I realized that every time I made a mistake by begging in front of him. That whenever he asks for a breakup I should accept and avoid keeping any contact with him, then he'll come crawling back to me. That when his alone he'll miss me, cause I left behind allot of sweet memories we shared together and many little things I used to do for him. Am sure he has not yet realized that as I never gave him a chance to think.

This time this is what I did. I want him to realize that he still loves me and am the love of his life. I want him back at any cost. But am afraid me not talking to him will take him all more the far from me.

Yesterday we had a little and he started again, then I said to myself enough is enough and give him space, I accepted but I guess he took it lightly, because I many time said such things but always ended up begging with him to take me back. But this time I firm. This doesn't mean I left him forever, but just giving him time to realize. Since then I didn't call him but he himself called me during night, he wasn't rude, he asked me about my studies, but then I disconnected the phone first after talking for a minute, saying am feeling sleepy.I was really happy that he called. Next day again I didn't call him, but I met him on the way when I was out going somewhere. But I didn't smile at him. Showed a little bit of attitude. Then in the evening he called me,I was not able to answer his call. But later I called him to ask why he had called, he acted as if he was in a hurry and a bit rude, his bro had asked hi to tell me something, he told that and disconnected the phone before me saying anything. What does that mean? Should I continue with the NO CONTACT? What should I do to make him realize come back to me?
Please don't ask me to leave him, I can't even think of that

[emopunk7]

Sorry, but why do you want to keep going through this? Try to move and let him deal with his decision. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you don't need him. You do know that you don't need him, right?

[amicon]

Whenever he asks for a breakup you should just accept it?
This guy is a manipulative jerk,and I suggest you go proper no contact and stay that way-for good.

You deserve much better than this breakup/makeup player!

[talaniman]

He is waiting for you to relent, and do your begging act, that's how he controls you. DON'T go back to that degrading behavior at all. He has to make up his own mind to respect you, to keep you.

If he cannot respect you, he doesn't deserve to keep you, does he? You can always go back to begging, if you rather have him than your own dignity, and self respect.

[Jake2008]

This isn't about him at all. You have shown him that no matter what he does, or says, or how he treats you with such disrespect, you assume the guilt, and go crawling back, begging for forgiveness for some silly reason, and the cycle keeps repeating itself.

That is what your relationship with him is.

There is no communicating, no talking about solving problems together about 'space', he is not trustworthy when he takes you back, and he's got a girl on the side to boot.

Where is your pride?

You cannot read his mind and know why he treats you this way, but you should certainly be questioning why you take it.

Your no contact with him sounds like you are teaching him some sort of lesson, with the hope that he will come back- again.

My opinion is you would be much further ahead to figure out why this relationship with him is unhealthy, why you have such a low opinion of yourself that you would beg him to come back, and why you can't see that the games you are playing together, will not make for a solid relationship.

At the very least, try looking at this in a different way. Try to see that you are allowing yourself to be used, and that you willingly allow it, in order to keep him. Is he really worth sacrificing yourself for?

[Devorameira]

You seem to have a great fear of losing him, and it’s making you cling to him way too tightly. That type of behavior will eventually push him away more. Right now, he knows he can treat you like crap and you’ll come crawling back to him,

You can't force him to realize something that he may not even feel. You can't force him to be with you if he doesn't want to be, either. That is something he needs to realize and want himself, IF that's what he really wants.

I think you should give him space. Back off completely. Stop begging for him for chances. If he really does love you, he won't let you go that easily.

If you do give him space and he ends up happier without you, you need to care about him enough to let him go. You can't make him stay with you if it only makes him feel miserable - it's not fair to either of you.

[mistyjane]

I don't really understand what kind of relationship you're having cause it seems like whenever you have an argument or any type of issue you go on a break.
First time I hear of this.
I thought that when you're in relationship you should try to talk about it before thinking of a break.
Believe me I start fights with my boyfriend for no reason sometimes and he's never saying let's go on a break cause we still love,protect and respect each other.
I think he's just going on breaks cause he wants to find a way to break up.
Go on NC but not just waiting for him to contact you do it for real.

[Lucky098]

Sounds to me that you two have a very twisted outlook on how a relationship is suppose to be.

If he really loved you, he would accept you for you. He wouldn't take every little fight as an opportunity to break up with you, which he is.

Why are you torturing yourself? You can't tell me that every time he says he's going to talk to another girl that you don't ache inside? Or every time he tells you he needs a break, you don't feel like your soul is broken... You need to dump this guy. He's poison!

Healthy relationships don't go on breaks every couple days, weeks or months. Healthy relationships don't bail out on the other person because of a disagreement. You shouldn't have to BEG for him to TAKE YOU BACK... If he's upset with you, he shouldn't break off the relationship every time. It's a game, and you both are playing it.

Seems like someone needs to break this vicious cycle. Why don't you stand up and be the better person.. and leave. There are so many people in this world... Why settle for someone who treats you badly?

[sabrewolfe]

I don't really understand what kind of relationship you're having cause it seems like whenever you have an argument or any type of issue you go on a break.
First time i hear of this.
I thought that when you're in relationship you should try to talk about it before thinking of a break.
Believe me i start fights with my boyfriend for no reason sometimes and he's never saying let's go on a break cause we still love,protect and respect each other.
I think he's just going on breaks cause he wants to find a way to break up.
Go on NC but not just waiting for him to contact you do it for real.

Just curious mistyjane, why do you start fights with your boyfriend for no reason?

[dynocompe]

what does that mean? should i continue with the NO CONTACT? what should i do to make him realize come back to me?
please don't ask me to leave him, i can't even think of that

You haven't even started no contact to continue it! Just because you don't call him as often, that isn't no contact, no contact MEANS absolutely NO contact in ANY way.

When he calls and you answer or call him back, he knows he has still got you, so he then turns on you, and gets mad at you, so you come to him once again.

Do no contact properly and see what kind of man or his feelings are for you.
It seems to me you guys can't talk things out anyway, so every fight you two have, are you going to ignore each other until someone breaks and says sorry?
Your relationship needs better communication skills, proper way to argue, for it to ever work.
If it hasn't been working now, its not going to work later, if you guys both are not willing to change.

[Gemini54]

I think that you're playing a stupid game. You may well think that he is the love of your life and that you can't possibly lose him, but everything you're doing will lead to that outcome. In fact, the process has already started.

Why? Because your focus is on you - not him or the relationship - you think he's the love of your life, you want him to realize that he loves you, you want to keep him, you want to play games, you want to be possessive.

Who is perpetuating the emotional torture here? You.

I would suggest that you look at your own behavior and ask yourself how you've contributed to creating this situation - I doubt that you'll get what you want, so you may as well learn the lessons for next time.