[addictedtoyou]

When I was nine years old my sisters friend who was 7 was killed in a car accident due to drunk driving. I was obsessed with the thought of car accidents, how she died, what exactly happened which ended her life etc. Eventually the obsession faded as I was young and I don't remember thinking about my death for a while. Ever since I was little I imagined my funeral, how I would want it to happen, who I would want there, who I would leave my things to etc. I've thought about what would happen if my parents or sister died. Every time I have ever thought about death with me or my family it always had to do with car accidents. On December 12th 2009 a girl within my friend group more of an aquanintence to me personally was killed in a car crash close to home. Again, drinking and driving, she had also been drinking. Again I thought about how she died, the last few moments she was alive. At the funeral I imagined if it was me or my sister, I looked through my pictures imagining if it had been me, jealous of her that it wasn't me. I wrote notes to her expressing my feelings and saying I missed her etc. This past month on March 29th my friend died in a single car crash, she was the driver, and had had a few drinks. I have not stopped thinking about her death, or katelynns. Other people have died around me but they do not affect me as much, it seems only people who die in car accidents really affect me because I have this feeling that I want to die in a car crash when I am young, and that I will. I feel like I do not have to take my life serioulsy, even though I am going to a very prestigious university, and have "plans" to go to law school, however I honestly do not think I will live past undergraduate school... what is wrong with me..

[ohsohappy]

You need to see a therapist.

[Clough]

How old are you, addictedtoyou?

Thanks!