[kakiax]

I am 24 years old. I have just finished University and didn't work much throughout Uni.

I struggled to complete my four year program because I have a slew of mental problems. The problems started when I was about eleven years old and include:

Severe anxiety disorders and a couple phobias, Obsessive compulsive disorder, chronic depression with bouts of intense rage, Cutting, sexual abuse and dysfunction, anorexia and bulemia, suicide attempts and now well I'm just coming out of a very major depression and am riddled with anxiety about my future.

I always had a difficult time holding down a job. Now that I am 24 and finished school I know that I will need to leave home, get a full time job and a place of my own. I have lived with a roommate once before for about 6 months but I was living off inheritance, didn't know how to budget or pay bills and soon ran out of money.

I have been working retail as I don't have much confidence to get a better job and keep losing these retail jobs (not actually through any fault of my own, just by employers not being able to keep me). It has been so incredibly difficult for me to keep these jobs too because I start to feel so horribly depressed and confined going to the same place everyday doing something that has zero meaning to me.

I can't sleep over the thought of losing the beautiful house I've lived in most my life and not waking up to my family or coming home to them after work. The thought just crushes me.

I don't even know what job I am capable or qualified to do and I don't know how to get one. I will also have to find something in the city and I am a nature girl so cities make me panicky and high strung.

How do I deal with losing everything I know, going off into a world of financial insecurity, keeping up with bill payments and taxes all on top of working full time and trying to stave off the stress of my numerous mental problems? I look after my family and household on top of work as it is and find it terribly exhausting. Now it just seems like I have to add a million more things to my "to do" list everyday.

People tell me it will be better when I have a job I like and a space of my own and I can always find a roommate but I have this inability to connect with people so I find making friends to be an impossible task.

Does anyone know what I am talking about?

How do I deal with all this independence stuff? Do you just naturally start to feel okay and able to deal with it all once you have forced yourself out there, have that job and have settled down into a place of your own?

[emily_godzilla]

Hi. I had suffered from bipolar disorder 1 since 1992. My dad had ocd. I really myself have not been too successful living on my own. For the last ten years I have lived with my boyfriend and family-e share bills. However I do know that in some places community mental health offers programs for people like you-young adults with mental health issues who wish to live independently. They may offer you counseling and help you find an apartment. You could do research on this through the internet just search for community mental health and the city you are in or the county.

[emily_godzilla]

Also good luck! :)

[justcurious55]

I know a lot of times parents raise their children and then the children are expected to go out on their own. But, you mentioned that you look after your family. Is your family rushing or pressuring you to move out on your own right away? If not, maybe you could keep living at home until you're actually ready both financially and emotionally to move on.

What did you study in school? What was your major? What sort of jobs interest you? There must be something that interests you?

Have you tried counseling and/or medication for your mental issues? Both of them, or at least counseling might really be able to help you. A counselor could help you manage your to do list and learning to deal with your depression, anxiety, etc.

Also, what about a money management class for young adults? Sometimes junior colleges or community centers offer them. They help young adults learn about effective saving habits and how to plan a budget and all sorts of money tips.

Also, moving out doesn't mean you won't ever see your family again. I moved out. But I still go back to my family's house sometimes for weekend visits. My cousin goes back a lot more often now that she has children, and she lives even close than I do. But she still goes and stays every few weekends. Moving out doesn't mean you can't ever go back. And when you do go back, you appreciate it that much more.

[kakiax]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. This is a super late reply. If anyone manages to stumble upon this, feel free to respond if desired.

My education is a bachelor degree in fine art (but not fine arts like painting/drawing/art history, more digital media type art. But also not design work). I took a whole bunch of courses so I never became very skilled in any one thing. It does make me very versatile though.

I will check out community places for budgeting.

[justcurious55]

How have you been doing since you posted here in the spring?