[mudweiser]

So I have a daughter, she's 3.

Lately she's become more and more anal.

It used to be that she had to have her animals/toys placed a certain way. Now it's everything, from crayons, to her bed sheets, even her shoes.

Yesterday, since the weather is getting so much nicer, I took her outside, when she saw a fly fly by and some other insects, she just started to scream and begged to be brought back inside. Now when I ask her to go outside she'll say "No mum, yuck bugs outside, I look outside window thanks".

She hates finger painting, when she does paint she'll have to have her hands clean at all times.

As a baby I would take her outside, let her get dirty and play with mud, but now she hates it. I just don't get her, one week she'll let me give her worms to hold and then the next she'll freak out if there is dirt on her hand.

Do I need her to bring her to the doctors? Is there anything I can do?

She's also fully potty trained, and she wipes herself so much her little "area" is red. I keep trying to teach her to do it gently and how to do it but she just says "it's not clean momma, it's not clean".

If I don't let her have her "way" she gets sad and just stays in her room and cries.

Also when we go out to eat I have to bring extra clothes [that she picked out] so she can change afterwards, it's even like that at home, if she gets one spot on her clothes she changes.

I just really don't know what to do! Is this just a stage?

Thanks...

[cdad]

Its really hard to say because she is at a tender age. To take care of the other problem they make flushable baby wipes or wet naps for just that purpose. So she can "know" she is clean. It may just be a stage. You might try watching animal planet or something like that and see what she says. Bugs can be "cool". But at 3 they are still flexing their mental muscle. Its still about "me" and that's not going to change for awhile. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Devorameira]

I think your daughter is perfectly normal and probably way too young to have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Young children do thrive on routine however. Having certain routines gives them consistency and a sense of security. Their world is full of new experiences every day, sometimes driving their brains into overload and their small routines are the only things that they cling to in their chaotic existence. :)

[mudweiser]

Great.. new fun moment of being a mom.

Since spring has sprung I've been getting these little black ants in my bathroom.

Rachel is very afraid of any and all bugs [no matter how much I try to expose them to her, she just hates them]. So since she's seen that ants are in the bathroom she's been refusing to use the bathroom. She's actually been urinating in her pants, she changes her pants, put them in the dirty laundry and cleans herself with a wipe.

So... what the heck do I do now?

How do I get rid of the ants [I've tried RAID and it hasn't helped]?

How do I get Rachel to stop being so scared of bugs and go back to going to the toilet!?


... gosh this is fun.

[justcurious55]

Post #4 looks like a question at least partly for catsmine. His advice got rid of my ants last summer. He told me to use the granular ant baits and they worked like a charm. But that was after he helped figure out what kind of ants I had.

I wouldn't worry about the rest just yet. My cousin insists that all children have "a touch of ocd" when they're young. My mom used to tell this story about how when I was about 2 (I think, somewhere near that age) we were going somewhere a couple hours away from where we lived and my sock got dirty and she'd forgotten to pack an extra pair. And I screamed so much that even though we were halfway to wherever we were going they had to turn around and rive all the way back. Just because of a spot on my sock... :D and when I started getting myself dressed, oh my. I actually remember throwing clothes across the room and crying because I couldn't find things that matched perfectly. It felt like such a huge thing when I was little. And then my hair had to be done just right. And only my mom and grandpa knew how to do it. I would take it down and pout until they did it the way I liked it, no one else could touch it. And don't even get started on food. Its amazing my mom got any food in me at all. Your finger painting comment made me laugh. I liked to finger paint. But I had to have my brushes out still because I had to use them to put the paint on my hands and then I had to run back and forth from the easel to the sink because I didn't like it when the colors mixed and it got too messy without the brushes.

I think I'm pretty normal now. Still don't like bugs, but I can deal with them. Still like my clothes to match but I don't throw tantrums when they don't and I've even been known to go to class in mismatches clothes. Lol and when my clothes get dirty in public, I can deal with it and shrug it off. But I still won't finger paint.

[cdad]

Great.. new fun moment of being a mom.

Since spring has sprung I've been getting these little black ants in my bathroom.

Rachel is very afraid of any and all bugs [no matter how much I try to expose them to her, she just hates them]. So since she's seen that ants are in the bathroom she's been refusing to use the bathroom. She's actually been urinating in her pants, she changes her pants, put them in the dirty laundry and cleans herself with a wipe.

So... what the heck do I do now?!

How do I get rid of the ants [I've tried RAID and it hasn't helped]?

How do I get Rachel to stop being so scared of bugs and go back to going to the toilet!??!


...gosh this is fun.

Maybe after the ants are done invading. You might ask her if she would like a pet? Here is a suggestion for you.

Ant Farms, AntWorks, Ant & Insect Habitats


Maybe if she sees they are no threat then she won't be so worrysome about them and have a fun time with it.

[Alty]

In my experience fear of insects is a learned behavior. Most of the children in our area were terrified of bugs because mommy or daddy would screech when a spider was nearby, or run when a wasp was hovering around.

A good friend of mine is an entomologist and his main purpose in life is to expose children to insects, teach them that there really isn't anything to be afraid of.

I love bugs. I pick up spiders and show them to my kids. I've become the bug rescue station in our neighborhood. If a moth has a broken wing the kids bring it to me. I'm still not sure how to feel about that. ;)

Bottom line, I don't show fear because there's nothing to fear. My kids respect all living things because that's what they've been taught. Hubby is still afraid of insects but the kids think it's strange because mommy has no problem with them.

So, my question to you Muddy is, how do you react around bugs? Are you comfortable around them? Do you go eek when a spider is near you?

Rachel is only 3, this is learned behavior IMO.

Time to amp up your game, learn about bugs, talk to your daughter about them, reassure her that there's nothing to be afraid of, seeing as she's not in the deep dark jungle. ;)

[mudweiser]

But Alty I have no idea where she would be scared of bugs!

I'm not scared of them! She spends most of her days with me! She does have a couple friends she hangs around with.. perhaps she picked it up from there??

The ant farm idea is fantastic.

Today I picked up an ant and showed her that it's okay and she just cried and froze.

Eesh... well this is what they call parenting.. good thing I have you guys!

[justcurious55]

Maybe you could start with a prettier bug? I hate bugs. But for some reason I like rolly pollies (what's the real name for them? ) and lady bugs. Maybe she'd think the lady bug was pretty enough that she could get used to them and move on to more bugs?

[usaann]

Don't worry my daughter at the same age was same she was screaming for same flays like someone was killed, just explain cache and touch, its will go away,

[Kitkat22]

It's normal... I have three girls much older. Two were like your daughter. My youngest would pick up caterpillars and bugs as I ran screaming into the house. I hate bugs and worms.

My older two couldn't stand a speck of dirt on their clothes. Their room was always nice --.then came the older age from 9 till they left home my oldest kids room looked like a battlefield. Don't worry your Rachel will be fine... Shes a girly girl. That's good.