[nitelight198073]

Well me and my husband are officially separated, and I have been friends with this man for awhile, and we both have strong feelings for each other, do I go for it or shall I wait. My soon to be ex had cheated on me so much that I don't want him back. Should I make myself happy right away or just let my feelings for this guy go?

[Enigma1999]

Hello Nightlight,

I too was in a similar situation. My husband and I separated, and I started dating a man that I had known for three years... My husband and I are divorced now and after six months, I am still with that guy! We are going pretty strong. Was it to soon for me to date right after the separation? Maybe.

All I know is that this person you are interested in, could just be a rebound. Although, people said the same thing to me, "He is just your rebound". Look at us now.

You need to be happy!

Let me ask you this, do you think it could just be a rebound? How long have you known him? Has he been married before? Is he worried that he might just be a rebound?

[talaniman]

You don't have to let your feelings go, but you should take your time, and enjoy each others company, without getting carried away.

That would ruin all the good stuff, wouldn't it? You just came from a painful experience and while its nothing wrong with having a good time, what's the hurry? Take it slow, and savor it.

Then you both get a chance to examine your feelings along the way.

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule- Enjoy getting to know someone, and keep it real.

Talaniman Rule-Never follow your heart when it's so broken, it makes the brain feel like mush

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

I have found that friends with intense feelings, is a lot different when the first wave of romance has faded, and reality sets in. No matter how long you have known a person as a friend, its different when you become romantically involved, and find out even more, deeper, more intimate details, into their character.

Most people have only to look at the choices they made in partners before to know that feelings blinds judgment sometimes.

[nitelight198073]

It is definitely not a rebound guy I don't do that that ends up hurting someone and I have been hurt enough in the past to do that to someone, we talk we laugh and have a lot of things in common, we do enjoy each others company we haven't had sex kissed or anything. So the lust thing is not an issue, we enjoy stimulating conversation and each other. With my husband I can't even carry on an intelligent conversation with him, he has this stuck on stupid look on his face and says "huh". I tried talking our relationship out with him but get nowhere... well anyway thank you for your advice and I will take into consideration