[MutedRunner]

Ok this sound weird as my friend and I met in the internet, we've been friends for nearly 3 years now, we never met but we know each other well. Last week I made an assumption she didn't want to talk to me anymore as she has been avoiding me in msn where we usually chat, so I've send her an email telling her that if she didn't want to talk to me she could have said so, anyway apparently it wasn't her someone was using her comp, she was out of the country for urgent family business, and told her real life friend to post something on a forum.What I don't understand is why she didn't text me, like she always does, she has my cell phone. I thought we sorted our problem out, but now she block me and won't response to any of my emails. It's been 5 days since I last talked or heard from her, and decided to leave her alone now, but it hurts me to think that I've lost my friendship with her because she couldn't tell me what's bothering her. I thought our friendship was strong, as we've been a lot together I stood by her and never have a question her actions.

[I wish]

If she wanted to talk to you, she would find a way.

The fact that she didn't contact you means that something is up. The question is whether she wants to make the effort to fix the problem.

As you already know, a friendship operates on a two-way street. It's clear that you're willing to make the effort, but we're not sure about her.

Let her know that you're willing to talk things out, but it's up to her if she wants to take you up on your offer. You can't force her to talk to you.

[MutedRunner]

Threads merged

I finally admitted my feelings to my friend, I told her I like her more than a friend, at first she was shocked then told me she still my friend no matter what. So I'm trying to move on as I know where I stand with her, but why do I get a feeling she gets jealous every time I flirt or just pay attention to other women. If I slipped up and mention some other girl she goes all quiet or ignore me, and if other ladies comes up to me and talk to me she goes all protective and stay with me, I don't know what to do I'm so confused, I try asking her but she doesn't answer me or say I don't flirt with anyone. Why does she makes me feel so guilty and bad for hurting her by my flirting.

[mistyjane]

Hurting her by flirting?How? She's not even your girlfriend.She hurt you when she said she would like to be only friends.
When you want to be friends you act like a friend that means you don't get jealous or whatever.
Don't bother and live your life.She said she's still your friend no matter what so why act like that.
She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you.
Live your life.

[Larken85]

Yeah, she loves your attention but that's all she wants. She wants to be your number one girl and that's all there is to it. However what'll happen when she gets a boyfriend? She will totally get ticked off if you get jealous. You know it. So just tell her to back off or go out with you if she likes you so much.

Sometimes being blunt is the best option

[MutedRunner]

Thank you for your response, I've emailed her couple of days ago and I got a reply but not from her, apparently something happened and she won't be on for a while, I know I shouldn't read into it much but why does my gut feeling telling me I'm being lied too? Should I just shake this feeling I have?


You guys are right, I need to live my life and stop it revolving around her. All her friends told her I'm crazy about her, and she uses to tease and flirt with me and when I do make a suggestion we should hooked up, she'll go ignore it and changes topic. She's not interested in hooking up with me and she does try to make me jealous or react to it but I don't bite as I already know I got no leg to stand on for being jealous if she talks to other guys. I know she gets annoyed because I don't say I'm jealous or react to it in front of her but deep down hurts me, seeing her with other guys and them treating her bad I can't stand it. But I need to moved on, stop holding on to something that's not going to happened.

[Devorameira]

You're right. She's already told you that she's not interested in a romantic relationship with you.

If you continue to worry about her reaction to your interest in another woman, you will never be involved in another romantic relationship. Don't live your life worrying about how she'll feel about it, just back away from her and make yourself happy.


I think you're taking your internet friendship way too seriously. :confused:

You said she's out of the country on urgent family business, so at least wait for her to return and respond when you can communicate with HER (not a friend who's just using the computer while she's gone).

[I wish]

If she isn't able to reach a computer anytime soon, then you're just going to have to wait it out. Why not wait until she explains herself before jumping to conclusions?

[MutedRunner]

Well after much waiting, I finally got my answer. She talked to me today and pretty much made me guess. She likes me, way before I told her my own feelings but she thought I wasn't ready as I had a lot going on. Thank you for all your help I'm so happy right now, I can't contain myself :D

[MutedRunner]

My girlfriend had been having problems and it cause a major communication breakdown mostly on her part. She told everyone we broke up but when I tried asking her about it she started to be cold and distant, to the point she avoided me for weeks. I must admit I got desperate I was afraid to loose her, so I text, call and email her everyday, sent her flower and even post on the forum to declare my love and idiocy for my actions and then all that time she made herself sick and her family is blaming me. Her family member email me and threatened me that if I cause her to be stress, they will make sure I won't ever see her again. It made me angry and try to cut any connection I have with her. I love her and to be told I made her sick, made me feel bad. I've accepted we broke up and I'm trying to moved on but she won't let me she's starting to open up communication with me again. I want her back and I still care and love her but I'm afraid to get hurt again. I feel she was playing mind games with me, she only opened up communication when I told her I would stop bothering her anymore. I'm confuse and I don't know what to do anymore.

[TrueFaith]

Wow.

Well I think you did mostly everything wrong in the book there after someone has split up with you..

But its OK we have all been there done that :P

Yeah she didn't speak to you for weeks? The way she has treated you I wouldn't want her back. So you my friend need to go No contact and move on with your life

You sound like you guys are young.


Stick to the rules no contact and heal

You also need to work on yourself as well
You got to stop being so needy that's never a good thing when someone says its done. In a relationship.. its done

Good luck

[talaniman]

What was the problems that led to this break up?

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule - Never tolerate bad behavior. *

Talaniman Rule- Let them pay for the consequences of their bad behavior, not you. *

*NOTE_ Applies to any bad behavior.

You need to make a decision to leave her alone. You don't just keep taking crap from someone who has already disrespects you. Ignore her attempts to contact you, as a consequence of her actions.

[MutedRunner]

Ok just a background, this is a long distance relationship and we're both females and its our first time to be in love in a same sex relationship. We're friends for nearly 3 years until a few months ago, we became more than friends, I have 2 kids as well and fond of her. About 3 weeks or so now we started to have problems, I got jealous and insecure I tried to get over it but she grew tired of it and started to be distant and cold, which made me crazy and well it went downhill from there. She told people we broke up but told our mutual friend that it was a lie, and when I ask her about it if its true we broke up she ignore me completely. She got sick and have to be in bed rest and her family partly blame me for her being sick. The thing is I love this girl, I've been in love with her from the moment I met her, she completes me and make me happy. She knows my past like I know her and I know we never met in real life I truly believe she's the one for me. Anyway I got desperate I've sent her flowers, email, txt and even call her and I know it was all the wrong move to do but I was afraid to loose her which I did anyway. She block me off her msn, and I must admit it hurt me a lot but in the end I've accepted the fact we broke up and she got nothing to do with me, I have deleted her as friend in my profile page of the game we used to play and the guild she made for the game we suppose to try out. But I couldn't delete her of my msn so I made a new one, and last week I wrote her a letter pouring my feelings out to her, and that was a bad move I know and ever since I deleted her off those places she block me off her msn, but she makes me see her message updates she post. Then yesterday after nearly 4 days of me having no contact with her she unblock me but doesn't initiate any contact. Today I broke my no contact as I have kids and my youngest have really became fond of her, she even started calling her Aunty even before she started going out. Her response was one word so I just told her about the gift my daughter made for her and that my daughter will email her when she sent it. I dot know if that was the right thing to do or not but my daughter ask me about her aunty everyday and I have no problems of my daughter communicating with her at all and I'm not using my own child to win her back that's why I want my daughter to email her when she sent it away next week. I don't know what to think her unblocking me from msn means she still cares about me and might want to get back together or is she just toying with me to see if I will break? I'm being told to move on but deep down I still love and want her, I still believe on having a future with her. We never really talk and I really don't know what to do to make her talk to me. I'm respecting her to not have any contact with me, but it hurts to see her online and knowing I can't have her. Please help I really don't have a clue how to go about it anymore.

[talaniman]

Why was her family so against you??

[talaniman]

MutedRunner : Because she got sick, she's not allowed to be stress and all that due to her condition which I really don't know what it is except her body shuts down and no one can wake her up. I only found this out early this year when she told me. I didn't mean t

Unless you can supply feedback the proper way this thread will be closed. Now you can be forthright with the whole story, and give relevant facts, Or forget it.

[talaniman]

You just need to scroll down further to the box at the bottom that allows for quick answers.

You are replying in the reputation box, the answer box is the one you want, to convey thoughts, feedback, and input to the conversation.

[talaniman]

You had another post that you had no problem posting on. They have been merged by the way, for the whole story.

[MutedRunner]

Ok, this this is a same sex relationship and it's a long distant one too. We've been friends for nearly 3 years, and just recently few months ago now. We decided to take our friendship to relationship. It started great like any relationship, but things started to go south a month into it, I was feeling jealous and insecure. She was putting everyone and everything else in front of me. I got a feeling she was even avoiding me. It got to a point she had enough and told our friends its was over. I tried to talk to her and ask if we can talk but she avoid and distant herself more. Then I found out she told one our friendship breaking up with me was a lie, I didn't know that she won't confirm nor deny it to me.
I really love this girl, and she knows it but she won't talk to me about our relationship. She has block me from msn and won't answer my emails, text and calls. I got to the point of just accepting the fact we broke up and I told her via email I accepted it and I'm sorry to have cause her any stress that her family is blaming me for. Her dad sent me a threatening email that if I stress her out I won't ever talk or hear from her again and they deleted my emails I've sent to her and took her cell phone.
We're both adults, late 20's but to me her family is treating her like a child in that respect I know they're protecting her but why can't she just answer my questions.
I'm really confuse, I'm trying to figure out what I did to make her hate me that she's treating me this way. Plus why won't she talk about our relationship. She's OK to talk about anything with me but as soon as our relationship is brought up she turns cold and will stop talking to me again. I'm trying to move on but I'm afraid to have anymore relationship with anyone as I don't want to be hurt like this again, and apart from my jealousy and insecurities I don't know what else I did wrong. I still want to give our relationship a chance but I don't see that happening if she won't talk about it and I feel this will cause me to have problems with any future relationship with anyone. Am I a real bad person to deserve this treatment. Did I hurt her for accepting we broke up and the fact I removed her from the social networks I have her on.
I never thought this could complicated, I thought we're mature enough and being friends would have mean we have a good chance of making our relationship work. Btw this both our first time in a same sex relationship. I need advice to where to go from here, I love her and I still think we have a future together but do I have to let her go and that thought as she doesn't feel the same way about me. Do I also have to let go of my friendship with her?

[iamsad]

Do u mean that u are lesbian with her ? "same sex relationship"