[groovylicious]

I am a lesbian who is 28 years old and want 2 ask how can I stop having sex cause I have weird hormones right now and want 2 have sex all the time but I can't stop it @ all I always want 2 have sex wif my partner all the time day and night and all we do is have sex nunthing else more is there away 2 stop having sex completely? I want 2 make my partner happy but what should I do I really need help right now

[Lucky098]

Maybe you're addicted to sex and need to seek a therapist.

[excon]

Hello groovy:

It seems you're obsessed. You want sex ALL the time or NONE at all. Try to find a middle ground.

excon

[NomNomNoodles]

Is this actually affecting other parts of your life and your relationship? If your partner has a high libido and isn't complaining, I don't see why this is a problem.

If it's hormones, that isn't a psychological issue, so I don't see why you need to see a therapist. However, a visit to the doctor might be in order here.

If you want to tackle this problem yourself, are you open to sex toys? They may help reduce the *ahem* soreness of your partner and potentially satisfy you more quickly, leaving time to do other things together.

[talaniman]

When the lust has run its course then other things will stop you. Reality will get in the way.

[lea_09]

How many times are you having sex a day? Usually having sex more than 8 times a day means you're addicted. It isn't a disorder... yet. Until you start having sex with other partners to satisfy the need. I mean if your partner does not mind it and it should be OK. Taking birth control pills will lower your lipido... but you're partner is a woman so try to avoid seafood, bannanas, brussel sprouts, and asparagus for two weeks to see if your sexual desire is lowerd. Certain foods compliment your lipido

[groovylicious]

Just want 2 say that I don't used sex toys @ all and for lea answer she only comes every Tuesday week that's it that's the only thing I get 2 see her her and I are having a secret r/ship she's 21 years old and we both love sex but she thinks I'm using her for sex that's why I want 2 stop having sex I'm a very honestly girl but I will do anything for my girlfriend I'm not obsessed wif sex I can't stop it buy thinking something disgusting I love doing her but she always thinks I'm only using her for sex and its not about sex I'm trying so hard 2 make things right for us I love my girlfriend so much and I don't want 2 lose her cause of my sexness I want 2 stop it frm happening and your right I should see a doctor about my hormones and the sexness I always getting and wanting it and need it I don't know what else 2 do honestly :confused: :(

[hheath541]

I know you are seeking honest, serious help with your question. One way to get that, is to use proper grammar and punctuation. It'll make it easier for everyone to read and understand.

Have you tried being around other people when she visits? Hang out with friends. Go to the movies. Spend the day at a park. Just be in public situations where you'll be FORCED to keep physical contact at a reasonable level.

I know you said your relationship is a secret. Are you keeping it a secret for your sake, her's, both? If you don't want to risk anyone you know finding out, then would it be possible to go to a nearby town or city for the day when she visits? It'll still be public, you'll get to spend time together, and you'll run less of a risk of bumping into someone you know.

I know it's hard to be in a relationship when one or both parties don't feel safe/ready to be out. It forces the relationship into the closet, which usually means you stay out of public places when together. Unfortunately, it can also mean that you have nothing to prevent you from turning your time together into something that is purely sexual. Getting out, into public places, will help that.

I assume you talk during the time you're apart. If so, then do your best to assure her that you're NOT just using her for sex. That you really do care about her and love talking to her, you just miss her so much when you're apart that you have trouble not touching her when you're together.

Set up a date. Put together a picnic and spend a day in a park hanging out and talking and playing on the swings. Steal kisses behind trees. Laugh. Just enjoy each other's company and being outside.make sure the park is one that regularly has people, but is never too busy. You'll want a semblance of privacy, without being totally alone.

If you live in a touristy town, then spend a day seeing the sites. Go to all the typical tourist destinations. Take pictures in front of buildings you've seen for years. Spend the day with no real plan or schedule. Just hop on a bus, or walk, around town. Grab lunch at a local diner.

Spend a day window shopping at the mall. Go into stores and try on clothes you would never wear just so you can laugh about them. Go into stores you could never afford and try on clothes that would cost you a month's pay. Goof off and play dress up like a couple kids.

No matter what you choose to do, make sure you enjoy yourselves. Find something you both enjoy, and do it. Just get out of the house, and have fun.


The ONLY information I found online about lowering your libido, was geared toward men. Since most of it involves raising the level of estrogen in their bodies, it wouldn't help you at all.

[Larken85]

OK I don't mean to sound rude but get a job.

Not just any job but a demanding one that tires you out. If you are dead tired you will not want sex.

Could try working out, burning off some of the heat so to speak. You could try eating a lot (not a super lot that could hurt you) and just be full when she gets there. That has been known to slow me way down... course I am a guy and wouldn't know if it has any affect on women at all. Your partner could say... no.. Or you could tell her that you do not want to have sex and that she should tell you no and mean it if you ask.

[groovylicious]

Your right hheath541 but I'm keeping it a secret for her sake cause her family are christians fully I can understand that I truly do but money is the thing as well I'm not rich either her but she always come and visit me I want 2 visit her but I can't her family are fully christians I'm so confused and I don't know what else 2 do?

I love her so much and I do care about her but she always thinks I don't

I'm trying so hard 2 make things right for us for the both of us I know I should be the oldest 2 understand things but honestly I don't its hard

Sometimes I think of being the same age as her then find out the answer we fight a lot but I already sort that out wif her when she was sleeping over wif me

I don't get much 2 see her @ all and your right I do miss her so much I want to be there for her and show her how much I love her and how much I care about her

I don't understand why can't she see what I am doing for her and for the both of us

I love sex and I want it all the time but the problem is that she always making out that I'm using her just for that

She thinks that I am looking @ other females cause I want them noways its not like that

I love crazy sex and hardcore and rough sex but she doesn't she's very sensitive we don't do toys and I don't like doing toys I want 2 feel the moment of laying her down and just make love to her its not always about sex

I'm 28 years old and she's 21 years old she's spanish and I am aussie she's not frm here she's frm america she's doing schooling and she's happy cause she met me face 2 face

Its like a dream come true for me and I found love as for her, I can remember all the happy things we did together and I always laugh @ them

The clothes we did that she wanted me 2 try girl clothes I said no cause I a butch female she's femme but she tries them on just for fun and damn she knows what she's likes in dresses

But when she comes here and sees me every Tuesday every Tuesday that's it

I want to be there for her every day and night wif her showing how much I do care about her and that I love her so much

The reason about no sex its cause she always thinks I'm using her for that and I have tried so hard 2 tell her I am not using her for sex and its love and who I am wif and that's her but she doesn't see that

She does schools and has 2 go meeting wif her family in church she's doing this 2 get her family that's she's only do what she asked that's it frm them

I can't put photos of us together on Facebook but I want 2 so much but I can't I'm jealous of other people that they can show there love frm others but I can't

She tells me she's a lesbian but she has this guy on her Facebook profile wif her together and I don't understand why she's doing that its OK if she's got a picture of herself there

But why wif men though but anyway she knows I can take the sex away completely if she wants me 2 do that I will cause of tired of her telling me that I'm using her for sex

And she's thinks I don't care about her if I didn't care why am I so trying 2 find out the answers for us 2 make it way better for our r/ship I care about her so much

And I will do anything for her and she knows that 2 make things right again

She's only here for a certain hours wif me that's it she goes back home but when I see her I get so turn on easy and quicker so does she

I don't know what else 2 do do you think I so consider myself going to the doctors about what I feel or talk 2 someone who knows me 2 well what I feel right now??

I want so much 2 spend time wif her all 2 myself I'm not selfish just that I wnt able 2 see her until Tuesday that's it we talk every day and night on msn and Facebook but that's not the problem

We should talk 2 each other face 2 face about our problems but she always mean to me and pushing me away wif her words

Why can't she see that I want to be wif her and show every hours wif her that I do care about her and that I love her so much yes I know I have heaps of other problems

Sex is one, she thinks I'm using her for sex, the other one I can't spend time wif her day and night on this Friday I wnt able 2 get 2 see her :'( this Tuesday she has 2 go again before 1pm that's it

It's a public day on Friday no buses or trains nunthing

I wnt be able 2 get 2 spend time wif her on easter day nunthing after that it will be the same thing over and over again

I have been so much a good girlfriend to her but why doesn't she sees that I do care about her not wif sex in it we both miss each other she lives like 2 hours frm me through train and buses I don't have a car or anything 2 find myself 2 get to her but I can't

Most spanish people doesn't like their neices or nephews or daughters and sons to be gay and most of them will kick them out wif no place 2 go

That's stupid she has me I'm trying 2 get her 2 see she has me 2 help her the best way I can everything was so great then all this is happening she thinks some other thing as well

Like I go and see my best friend and she thinks something is happening there nunthing isn't

I want her 2 trust me and be open wif me
I can't read minds

I can't believe I am 28 years old having a stupid problem wif this and doing the best way I can 2 make things right for us I don't know what else 2 do but my parents tells me not 2 give up always follow your heart and believe what in your heart I am

I'm happy I moved away and found a very beautiful loving girlfriend who I care about so much
And I'm very much in love wif her


But you think I should see the doctor about my hormones?

Or should I get someone that knows me so well for help?

[Curlyben]

Before posting again please refer to this announcement: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ens-board.html

[hheath541]

My guess is that having to hide everything from her family is hard on her. That fact that she can't be honest with them is stressing her out, and she's taking it out on you. She probably thinks that you deserve someone you can be open with, which is why she thinks you're having sex with your best friend.

How long have you been together? She probably doesn't feel comfortable relying on you to the point where she'd be willing to live with you if her family kicked her out. She loves her family, and just hasn't gotten to the point where she's strong enough to risk losing them by coming out.

Are you her first real girlfriend? It sounds like she's still trying to figure out how to be in a lesbian relationship. If this is her first real relationship, then it makes sense that she's worried and insecure. There's probably a voice in the back of her head telling her that you deserve someone better, and that's translating to her picking fights and pushing you away. It'll take time, but she should eventually learn that you DO love her and she IS good enough for you.

Does she have any friends or anyone she can talk to about your relationship? If not, then she has no one to tell her she's being silly and help her realize that she's letting her imagination get away with her. You have friends to talk about things with before you talk to her. If she doesn't have that, then you're hearing about every little thing that's worrying her. It also means she has no one to tell her that you DO love her and that she needs to calm down and just let you love her the best way you can.

The guy on her Facebook might be a close friend or someone she feels safe using as a cover. Have you talked to her about him? Since she's not out to her family, he might just be someone she uses to keep them from asking why she's not dating anyone.

You can try going to a doctor and see if they have something to decrease your libido. I don't think it's a hormonal issue though. I think it's just you missing her and loving her and wanting to be as close as possible in the limited time you get to see her.

Be aware, though, that having NO sex can worry her just as much. She might convince herself that you no longer love her, or that she's not pretty enough, or that you're sleeping with someone else and don't have the desire or energy to have sex with her anymore.

Have you tried just holding her, instead of having sex? Spend the time you have together cuddling and talking and watching a movie. Just having her close may be enough for both of you. Let her initiate any sexual activity.

[talaniman]

Sorry groovy, after being warned you still keep with this chat/speak. So I guess that your problem is not important enough for you to use the proper grammar to convey your thoughts, so this thread is closed