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phyllishessbest · Mar 24, 2010, 01:47 PM

Last July my friend got introduced by a Filipino woman here in the US, at a casino,to her cousin back in the Philippines. He started texting and visiting with her via web cam, within a month he broke off an 8 year relationship, and in January went to see her in the Philippines. He was there 4 or 5 days, second day they had unprotected sex and it was that way throughout his visit. He returned home and picked up texting and web caming immediately. She has 3 children and is not in good health. He is planning on bringing her here and marrying her, she is only bringing one child with her, leaving the other two behind, He is no longer allowed to visit with his female friends and is threatened with her withdrawing if he does, that's emotional blackmail. I asked him if he has sent her money-he says no, but my instincts tell me he has and is. Last July he went through a very painful situation with an ex wife and was very hurt and vulnerable, that was his emotional state when he was approached and told to connect with this girl in the Philippines. Something does not seen right here, am I accurate in thinking something's wrong? I know I cannot protect or stop him but I can be the unseen and unheard monitor. What is really going on?

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 24, 2010, 01:55 PM

Hard to say. All you can really do is express to him that the whole situation smells fishy. And it does.

Your friend sounds like he is in a vulnerable spot and if this woman has bad intentions who knows what bull she is feeding him to manipulate him. And she does sound very manipulating, he's already dropped his female friends, you're probably next if she keeps going!

The reality is, you can't force him to not communicate with her. He's an adult, he is going to make his own decisions.

If you two are good friends hopefully he'll at least hear you out. You're opinion has to matter at least a little bit!

hungtoronto · Mar 24, 2010, 02:22 PM

I don't know what you mean. Are you thinking she put a spell on him. Black magic or something like that? Who's the filipina woman that introduce him, is she a friend? Last time I heard filipina women are very good to their men. Your friend has gone through marriage before I am sure he knows what he's doing.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 24, 2010, 02:42 PM

He meet someone fell in love, they are engaged, If he was engaged to a lady around the block, she would not want him going out with other women either >?

talaniman · Mar 24, 2010, 08:36 PM

You can go behind the scenes, and check her out yourself, through the American Embassy in the Philippines. Or the one here. If she is involved in anything they may know. That's something he should have done in the first place.

Maybe she is legit, and maybe NOT!

Fr_Chuck · Mar 27, 2010, 03:38 PM

I will follow up, since you don't seem to like to hear the truth,

First it is your friend, and really none of your business. But yes, it does matter if you take a friend to lunch, If you are dating, you had better make sure your girlfriend is OK, and if you go with the same person of the opposite sex too often they are not going to like it. I would say that he is taking the role of being engaged a lot more serious than you would

phyllishessbest · Mar 30, 2010, 02:58 AM

OK, It is not that I do not want to hear answers that are distasteful, it is that my friend is being scammed, and it is the typical Philippine Female/American Male scam, resulting in the Phillipino garnering money during on line/telephone courtship until the money runs out or the American finds out, the second is to come here, marry the guy and then leave him and move onto what she really wants(this is real easy to do if she has a marriage certificate) and she can get all the public help she needs besides the support he must attest to and provide for her entrance. The RED FLAGS are, the age difference, leaving 2 children behind, already getting money from him on a regular basis, the covertness of the on line and telephone activity,not telling anyone, not even immediate members of his family) the secretive meeting in the Philippines, the four day visit that centered around meeting family and having unlimited and unprotected sex and the very fact that he had just recently undergone a painful divorce of 35 years. And the fact that there is no apparent happiness in anyone or anywhere around the "loving relationship, not even from him. Come on, none of my business-maybe, but he brings it to me and talks to me about it, my concern yes. He is in a complete state of true phschological denial,( my education supports this) and all this is is an ego boosting, methodology to bilk a vulnerable person who is looking for a quick fix to some very painful feelings. He has been responsible to pay onc a large sum of money via the divorce and is being asked for money again. His whole family, all his friends, co-workers and buddies fear for his emotional and psychological welfare along with his financial security. He is in a desperate state, is acting out of desperation and the Filapina woman knows this. Sometimes even if ones business or not, you have to stand up to the plate, and this is also classified as international fraud and is a criminal act as set forth by Immigration and Homeland Security. How about some real help rather then some punitive remarks? And, by the way I am the female friend of 9 years that has been cut off, and all I ever -was/am is a friend.

tickle · Mar 30, 2010, 03:55 AM

Originally Posted by phyllishessbest

Sometimes even if ones business or not, you have to stand up to the plate, and this is also classified as international fraud and is a criminal act as set forth by Immigration and Homeland Security. How about some real help rather then some punitive remarks? And, by the way I am the female friend of 9 years that has been cut off, and all I ever -was/am is a friend.

Yes, someone has to step up to the plate here, you are correct. And yes, he probably is being scammed and you have obviously read some other posts on here that indicate other people are being scammed. It is up to his friends to 'step up to the plate' my dear. Surely, one or two of you can make him see that what he is doing is nonsensical and this woman only wants his money.

We can only offer advice (I don't know what you mean by punitive remarks) regarding his well-being. Most of all his well being is up to his friends.

Tick

NYcityboy · Mar 30, 2010, 08:52 AM

If she is marrying him only for an immigration benefit, then yes, the sham marriage and the subsequent relative petition is an immigration violation.

Just my opinion (not an expert), but he needs his friends to speak with him truthfully and with love. Good luck.

ScottGem · Mar 30, 2010, 09:26 AM

I've merged your threads, its better to keep questions regarding the same issue in one thread.

If you suspect (and you have reason to) that she is scamming him for his money, then you need to report this to law enforcement. They can help you assemble enough proof that might convince your friend.

But the bottomline is its his life and his money. If he can't be convinced this is all a scam, there is little that can be done if he is a willing participant.

phyllishessbest · Mar 30, 2010, 09:32 AM

ALL threads merged
Can anyone tell me the activity that starts and perpetuates a Filapino marriage scam. A step by step list would help me a great deal.

phyllishessbest · Mar 30, 2010, 09:37 AM

What is the step by step activity that a scammer in the Philippines uses to garner money and citizenship through American men?

phyllishessbest · Mar 30, 2010, 09:41 AM

There are posts somewhere in cyber space that list known Phillipino Marriage scammers, can you provide me with the web site or the names of such persons and how they do it?

NeedKarma · Mar 30, 2010, 09:41 AM

Here is scam in a nutshell: if the person asks to have you send money for whatever reason and you have never met face to face in real life then it's very likely a scam.

JudyKayTee · Mar 30, 2010, 10:02 AM

Please post each question once - are you referring to mail order brides or scams where there is no female and men send money to a non-existent "person" in order to transport that person to the US? Of course, no such person ever arrives because the person is not real.

What is your interest in either scam?

JudyKayTee · Mar 30, 2010, 10:04 AM

You have already been asked not to keep opening new threads - and yet you've openen another new thread.

Please stop taking up a lot of time with the same basic question.

JudyKayTee · Mar 30, 2010, 10:05 AM

OP has been asked not to continue to open new threads on the same subject - and keeps opening new threads.

Should be combined.

phyllishessbest · Mar 31, 2010, 03:27 AM

I have the unique and sad responsibility of reporting a Phillipino Marriage Scam, It is by reason of facts a marriage that could indanger the welfare of a minor being brought to this country(not sexual but emotional and maybe physical danger). I am quite sure this report to immigration needs to be made, placed in their hands for investigation and subsequent decision. How do I do this.

JudyKayTee · Mar 31, 2010, 07:48 AM

If you are determined not to mind your own business here is the info: Immigration Fraud > Report Other Fraud > Immigration Fraud

tickle · Mar 31, 2010, 12:40 PM

His situation isn't unique if you have read other marriage scam reports here. This information on how to report marriage fraud is from EHow.com. It includes the number to call, but also tips you should be aware of as well. Some of this information may not apply to him, but essentially is about marriage fraud.

1.
Identify separated spouses. Certain knowledge that a marriage is fraudulent and exists only to gain a residency for a foreign national is hard to come by. But one of the surest signs is when the spouses do not live together. A marriage in which one spouse, a foreign citizen, lives at another address should arouse particular suspicion of marriage fraud.
2.

Identify a suspicious marriage. Besides separated spouses, other indicators of a suspicious marriage include those between people of markedly different age, class, religion, culture or education.
3.

Report a fraudulent marriage to the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (I.C.E.). Call I.C.E. at (866) 347-2423 with as much specific information as possible.

Tips & Warnings

*
Reporting a suspicious couple will likely lead to both spouses being interviewed by a fraud officer. If fraud is detected, the foreign national could be deported, and the case could result in criminal charges.
*
Reporting marriage fraud should not be done frivolously. Not only is it a waste of valuable resources, but it can potentially cause hardship for a legitimate couple. Not every unusual couple is engaged in a fraud.

Tick