[msblackfoot]

I have twin grandaughters, 3 yrs old. Paternity established and my daughter lets them go to the fathers every other week for a week at a time but no "visitation order" established (he has 9 kids to count.father owes more than $10,000 in child support for just the twins alone! Not to mention the other kids he has with other "baby mamas")
But! The real problem is that when the twins get "home' from "dads" they automatically want to come to mamaws (me). And they do not want to be at my daughters' at all. I know that she has all kinds of people there all the time and my suspicion is that she's hosting "smoking parties" in front of the kids. I have seen the paraphanalia sitting around when I have been there to visit, and "visitors" all sitting in a "circle" when I have entered to where you can't get into the apaartment. But the twins especially one of them, wants only to be with me. She makes it plain and clear, even though she is only 3, she calls me crying to come to "mamaws house", she doesn't want to be where she is and she makes it clear that she doesn't. They have also seen abuse to their mother by her boyfriend ! My question is: if they (the twins) express an very forward desire to be with me rather than their mother even at their age, do I have grounds for seeking custody? To most everyone in close contact, it is apparent that the twins don't want to be with their mother. I think it's pretty sad that even at their age, they know that something isn't right at home. I guess they know that at mamaw an papaws house , it is all about them "the twins" and what's best for them! Please help what should we do? Should we try for custody?

[stinawords]

Have you contacted child protection yet? That would be your first step. Then you should also look into attorneys in your area. Each state has different laws about your rights/chances of getting custody. You can let child services know (provided they find the situation unfit) that you and your husband would be willing to foster them. After that then you could move for custody easier. Bottom line you will need proof of all of your allegations (I'm not calling you a liar it's just the way it is).

[cdad]

What state is this in? Because you may or may not have rights at all.

[msblackfoot]

We live in Ohio, and have been informed that CS has been to the apt for it being unclean a couple of times. My daughter has forbidden the twins from going to their dads house for the time being because of them coming back with head lice every time. Dad always says that the other kids at his house have been treated but still the problem has persisted despite our efforts in eliminating them. So my daughter got fed up with it and said they could not go back until all is clear. Win for the home team! But... daughters boyfriend was in jail for the last month and house was semi clean but now he is out and wonder when the fights will begin and cops will be called. Also daughter is probably pregnant again! This will make 4 kids and she's 22. And yes I taught birth control and have been on her about getting her tubes tied since the last baby was born but she has procrastinated and now thinks she's pregnant again. I have said that I will not be there for this pregnancy, it is very irresponsible of her and she was not raised this way. And yes she does receive food stamps that we all pay for by our jobs. Another problem I have with her! She always wanted to work before, she started working when she was 14. I don't know what happened. I raised my kids to work for what they want like I have. I am lost! I just know there there two little girls who don't want to be where they are and I don't have $2500 for a lawyer to fight for custody, when children's services makes an appointment to check her house out and does nothing but tell her that she has to clean up and they will be back. Of course the place is cleaned up when they come back. She lives in an apt complex for welfare-type families, and boyfriend is not on her lease but nothing has been done about him living there and his court listed address is her address. If I thought they would kick the abusive boyfriend out if I reported them without kicking her out too, I would report them. But she has nowhere stable to go other than here but I don't have the space for 4 extra people here. I'm sorry, I know I am going on and on but it is really frustrating knowing this info and pretty much not being financially or legally able to do anything about it. I know custody would be expensive, I would do it if I had a chance and we would make a way if we got custody but of course it always comes down to money. Doesn't it always?