[21aniger]

Ok, at first my husband thought it was my imagination. My neighbors that live right next door do exactly as I do every year! The curtains, I get hardwood floors, they get it a week later, same wreaths at christmas, this week I put out certain topiaries a certain way on the porch then they go and do it exactly the same way its so annoying... I put a lot of effort and work into it and they have no imagination of there own and do as I do... my husband noticed it lately because they even have to buy the kids the same things we get... I know there is nothing I can do but is this common? Wouldn't anyone be justified in being annoyed. I would love to tell them but I know I cant

[Fr_Chuck]

I would have some fun with this, maybe pink famingos in the front yard,

Putting dalmatian cloth as curtains,

Making it so outragious it would be funny, then after about 2 months of obnoxioius changes, ( keeping all the old stuff) change it all back over night.

[valinors_sorrow]

Oh Fr Chuck, I like your solutions... you could have a whole lot of fun with this 21 ---I mean Grocho Marx glasses, trash cans painted silly, the whole Beetlejuice routine LOL etc etc. You might even like some of it and keep it LOL

Sometimes it helps to see it in better context -- read through some of the other bad neighbor posts and you might not feel so put out too!

[21aniger]

Thanks... I hate to have to show bad taste just to drive them crazy but maybe I'm overreacting but I don't think so... I mean they don't even care if people see them doing the same things as me... I would never want to look like a copy cat I like to have my own original ideas... they are so annoying... even my kids notice it

[valinors_sorrow]

To some degree they are as annoying as you make them be... can you see that?

Its flattering, really if not a little creepy and you should hail yourself as the Martha of your street, find a little humor in it, or create some.

Use that fake snow stuff and paint on your windows so they can read it, WHAT LOVELY NEIGHBORS! At least when they do it back, that's what you'll read?

Or have her over for coffee and play if you can't lick them, join them. Offer to be her stylist and make suggestions, different from yours sometimes, weaning slowly. Maybe you find it was just their very very ill begotten desperate way of trying to fit in? Wouldn't that be sort of sad. And you might not feel like this exactly but you really are the one who has the room to be charitable, maybe?

Just some more silly thoughts!

[21aniger]

You make some good suggestions... however, I think it leans more on the creepy side... I know people say "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" but there is nothing about these people that are sincere... they are just the type that are phoney beyond belief and they have to copy then try to "outdo" you somehow... lets see the first three or four things we tried to let it go but at times it's a little disturbing... I mean I could never be friends with these people... I love the idea about spraying words on the window... that would be funny

[Skell]

Yeah I agree with Val in that it is onloy as annoying as you let it be.

I see your point and it would be a little irritating but perhaps try and make a joke of it and see the humour.

You know in your own mind that they were your own brilliant ideas that were so good that the neighbours had to copy. No one else neds to know.

If you let it get to you then they win. Because that may be a motive behind them doing it. To annoy you.

So the best way for you to 'win' is to not let them 'win'.

[valinors_sorrow]

I apparently am devious enough to think up all sorts of terrible stuff as the hits just keep coming LOL, like renting an really expensive car (as a treat for the holidays) but making all sorts of noise standing around it in the driveway about LOOKEE THE NEW CAR!! My bad :p

[21aniger]

That would get to them for sure... maybe a lexus or something... my husband does not like this guy because he tries to act like he is rich and better then everyone... its such a joke... there house is identical to ours and everyone else on our block... who does he think he is fooling.he also copied the neighbor on the other side and go the same bmw as them like two months after they go it... we had hardwood floors installed last September, what do you think they did two weeks later? You guessed it! They are unbelievable in a way I think maybe they do it to annoy but what an expensive way to do that? On the other hand I really think they are very insecure and want to be liked so bad they go to great lengths... the difference is my husband doesn't care... he does not try to act like someone he is not... he drives a basic ford truck, doesn't care what people think... they do not impress him at all... me they just irritate me I guess I need to learn to ignore like he does

[valinors_sorrow]

Well the thing to realise, and this is very true, is they live a very punishing life. It may not look it but trust me, they do. Far worse even than you or I imagine. I know the few times I have really been involved with a similar dysfuntional family deal, it was just that - far far worse. No need on your part to add more. This is what I meant when I said you have room to be charitable.

And sometimes for me, when I come across something I wished didn't bother me but it did -- it was worth taking a closer look at to see what it was really about. Turned out to be not what I initially thought and in it was a kind of message I needed too, LOL funny thing. Once I got the message POOF, no more annoyance. So maybe have a look?

[Fr_Chuck]

What bad taste, I like pink famingos and things that have cows on them.

You should see my house for this Christmas, there is a movie out where people fight over how many Christmas lights they can put out, I win in our neighborhood.

But yes, I love life and like having fun, and enjoy seeing peoples reactions to unusual things, I am going to work this morning with a Santa hat on,

But yes, perhaps these people have no real taste of their own and think you all are so perfect they want to try and be like you.

And others of course have this desire to keep up with the neighbors, we have one in our area, I bought a speed boat, they they bought afishing boat, my wife gets a new car, they get a new car.

Even my wife and her sister so some of that thierself.

I joked with my sister in law, telling her now she had to find a fat white husband, since her sister had one one.

Maybe you should be glad I am not your neighbor, ( again what is wrong with pink famingos?)

[Bluerose]

21aniger,

I don't want to upset you but this sort of thing says more about you than it does about your neighbour. Do what others have advised, have some fun with it. I know I would. As a young army wife I had a neighbour like that - it got so ridiculous and so funny, we ended up very good friends. Sadly she passed away last year.

I would also like to comment on all those Christmas lights, Fr_Chuck.

One of my sisters had a new neighbour who went a bit mad with outside Christmas lights (we don't go too mad in the UK so it looked quite unusual). Other neighbours were having a moan, "Who does she think she is?"

My sister had got to know her new neighbour quite well, and began to do her own house up with lights. At first the other neighbours just thought she was copying the new neighbour. But my sister had found out why they put up so many lights... They lost a young daughter who loved Christmas, and the lights were for her. Next couple of years or so the story got around and now every year for the past five years the little cul-de-sac has been lit up like a Christmas tree. People actually come and take photos of it.

I hesitate to criticize anyone for going over the top because you never know what's behind it.

[froggy7]

that would get to them for sure.....maybe a lexus or something...my husband does not like this guy because he tries to act like he is rich and better then everyone....its such a joke......there house is identical to ours and everyone else on our block.....who does he think he is fooling.he also copied the neighbor on the other side and go the same exact bmw as them like two months after they go it.....we had hardwood floors installed last september, what do you think they did two weeks later? you guessed it!

I do have to ask... how do you know that they are copying you? It sounds like you live in a cookie-cutter neighborhood. If you thought putting in hardwood floors is a good idea in your house, it's also probably a good idea in their house. And they may have been planning on doing that for months before you put yours in, and taking their time on picking what type, saving money for it, etc. In which case, you may be copying their idea! Also, if it's a cookie-cutter neighborhood with an HOA, then you are somewhat limited in what you can do.

So unless they are copying you exactly (down to colors, etc.), then you may want to step back and consider that what you consider "your own original ideas" may not be all that original, and other people may have come up with them independently. And just let it go, if they are copying you. You can't stop them, so why let it get to you?

[ghost56]

I had a similar problem years ago. I started to talk to the neighbour and would tell her what I was going to do or buy(but would say the complete opposite of what I was really going to do), sure enough she would go out and buy it or do it, then when she had done or bought what I said I was going to do, I would do what I originally planned. If she then changed what she had done, it would be quite obvious what she was doing, it used to annoy her no end, you don't even need to speak to them, you can just say within earshot, what you are buying or doing. It would cost them a fortune to keep doing double, just to change things again to what you have done.

[lacuran8626]

Kind of obnoxious and I wouldn't really do this (well, maybe not... depends on how bad it gets). My thought is that next time you get something for your house that will be very noticeable but is not terribly expensive (a potted mum plant for the entry, or whatever), buy two. Then bring it next door and tell them, "well, I got a new plant and know you like to match us, so I thought I'd get one for you, too!" I would imagine they'd get the point, but some people are soooo dumb.

I didn't even like when my sister did her hair the same way as me when we were kids - no, you aren't nuts. Being copied constantly is about as irritating as having a seven year old in the back seat of your car, repeating every word you say. :rolleyes:

[stonestrung]

Wow!! Is This What You Spend Your Day Doing Is Wasteing Your Energy On Only The Negative Did You Ever Think Maybe Your Neighbors Might Admire Your Taste Or That They Happen To Like The Toys You Got Your Kids To Play With So What!! Maybe You Should Feel Good Not Bad That Someone Liked Your Ideas And Decided To “Copy” You. And If You Really Want To Make Something Good Out Of Wasted Energy If Your Creations Are So Great Market Them And Profit From Them. Maybe Your Neighbors Might Not Be The Most Creative People But Im Sure Whatever They Lack In The Creativity Areas Im Sure They Make Up For In Other Ways. Try Being Their Friend!! Its Not Nice To Laugh At People . Didn’t Your Parents Teach You Anything…Don’t Not Be So Stuck Up. Wow…&…… I Thought I Had Problems!! Get A Life!! Cheer up things could be worse:)

[stonestrung]

Wow!! Is This What You Spend Your Day Doing Is Wasteing Your Energy On Only The Negative Did You Ever Think Maybe Your Neighbors Might Admire Your Taste Or That They Happen To Like The Toys You Got Your Kids To Play With So What!! Maybe You Should Feel Good Not Bad That Someone Liked Your Ideas And Decided To “Copy” You. And If You Really Want To Make Something Good Out Of Wasted Energy If Your Creations Are So Great Market Them And Profit From Them. Maybe Your Neighbors Might Not Be The Most Creative People But Im Sure Whatever They Lack In The Creativity Areas Im Sure They Make Up For In Other Ways. Try Being Their Friend!! That's probably not a good idea since as I read on your too good to be friends with these people. Oh and by the way I sure wouldn't be your friend.. Its Not Nice To Laugh At People . Didn’t Your Parents Teach You Anything…Don’t Not Be So Stuck Up. Wow…&…… I Thought I Had Problems!! Get A Life!! I DESIGN jewelry for a living I too know what it means to be creative why dony you accept peole fpr who they are.. I sure would love to meet a perfect person such as you some day so I have someone to admire!!

[stonestrung]

and another thing... did you everthink they are just nice peopl
\..,. /)(*^%$#!@!
"NEVER MIND ITS NOT EVEN WORTH MY TIME TO WRITE ANY MORE BYE/BYE"!!

[lacuran8626]

Don't know, Stonestrung--I get the whole "copying is flattering" point of view, but I think it makes people uncomfortable when the same person copies them repeatedly in so many areas. There is something kind of mentally odd about someone so closely identifying with what the neighbors do, and paying so much attention... I would feel a bit stalked, personally. I think it makes people uncomfortable because it's weird behavior, and our natural instinct is to be bothered by behavior that might indicate there is something wrong going on.

[Skell]

This thread is a couple of months old and the original poster has gone. It wasn't worth your time to write in the first place.

Please look for more recent threads.

Gee this is happening a lot lately!!