[Leena1]

My sister is getting married in Greece in a few months and because my partner and I are living in Australia we can't afford the 5,000 to attend.
We only have managed to save less than a grand so far and my partner is doing some extra work at home. I work in a shop and I'm finding it hard to save the money whilst also trying to still have fun. We were meant to be out here for a working holiday but so far all our money is going on bills and saving for the wedding. We haven't done a single fun thing since we have been here due to lack of money.

Im thinking about canceling and offering to pay for them to come out and visit us next year, which will cost us around 2,000, which is more affordable for us and can give us a bit more time to save.
The truth is Im heartbroken that I can't attend but my sisters reaction may well be very angry and rejected. She will see it as a personal attack and Im terrified of telling her... even with the holiday gesture.
She was angry at me for going to Australia when I knew she was getting married. It was something I was desperate to do but now its backfired and she's going to be really angry. I promised I'd make it but we just can't get the money. We are both working all the hours under the sun already.
Any advice?

[Blue Angel]

Of course it's best to be completely honest with her, the sooner the better. She will probably be more angry if you wait till the last minute to tell her that you can't make it. She will most likely be angry regardless but there's really no way around it. My only thought is that maybe you have some family or friends that can help you come up with the money, arrange it so you can pay them back. Hopefully someone else has some better suggestions for you.

[Wondergirl]

You don't live your life to please your sister. Yes, you "promised" to attend the wedding, but that wasn't a fair thing you felt obliged to do. I can't imagine how your financial inability to attend her wedding would be considered a personal attack. In these hard economic times, you are lucky to have a job that pays your bills.

How old is your sister anyway? What country are the two of you from -- what country do you consider home? Why is she getting married in Greece? Is it a destination wedding that usually only a few guests can afford and many don't attend?

[dontknownuthin]

I agree with the others. You can simply tell her that you had every intention of coming but have had to face the reality that your income will not support another $4,000 in savings before the wedding and there's no way you can make it. Do not promise her a trip to Australia to visit - that is just setting yourself up for having to cancel on her again in these very uncertain economic times. Since you did save $1,000 you could send a very nice gift (you do not have to nor should you feel obliged to spend the full amount by any means). It would also be very nice to send her flowers on the morning of the wedding letting her know that you are with her in spirit and offering your best wishes.

She was unreasonable to expect you to put your move to Australia on hold. It would make no more sense for her to ask you to do that than for you to ask her to plan her wedding around your plans with your partner, to live in Australia. Perhaps you might have demanded that she get married after you move back! Or that she get married in Australia! And it sounds like she's planned a destination wedding - part of the deal is that a lot of people won't come when you do that.

Don't feel guilty, don't listen to a bunch of abusive nonsense. Be gracious and be done with it.

[Fr_Chuck]

I guess my question ?

If it only costs 2000 for them to come to see you, how does it cost 5000 for you to go see them for wedding?

Also perhaps you can go alone for the wedding without partner and save 1/2 they cost.