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serendipity056 · Mar 10, 2010, 10:19 AM

I was reading about the benefits of joining the army.. as well as the possible struggles.. With both our personalities I believe the military life would be beneficial to us both, together. But how do I go about mentioning this to my boyfriend without him thinking I'm pushing the idea on him? He wants a career where he can continually grow and learn.. He would LOVE the pride and respect that comes with it. I am very flexible, want to own my own business (which IS portable), etc.. Seems like a perfect idea to me.. But Im not sure what he'd think...

Fr_Chuck · Mar 10, 2010, 10:58 AM

Ask him if he has ever considered the military, If you can't communicate this idea of importance to him, then the relationship has communication issues

serendipity056 · Mar 10, 2010, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Ask him if he has ever considered the military, If you can't communicate this idea of importance to him, then the relationship has communication issues

That's actually the problem, we do have communication issues. I open up and ask questions just to get to the root of how/what he's thinking and he just explodes and acts as if Im interrogating him. Guess you could say I'm afraid to bring it up to him because I know he'll say Im pushing it on him.. Anyway, thank you for the response.

justcurious55 · Mar 10, 2010, 02:01 PM

You realize that for you both to benefit from him being in the military, you have to be married? Otherwise, he benefits and struggles in the military. And you just have a boyfriend in the military. Are you too ready for marriage? I'd venture to guess no if you can't even bring up an idea. Me and my boyfriend have discussed the possibility of getting married and him joining the military. Its exactly what his brother did. We decided it wasn't an option for us because the cons outweigh the pros for us. Having to rush into marriage before we were ready to was a con for us. Not having any control over where he was stationed was a con. There's no guarantee that we would be able to stay together while he was enlisted. Three of his brothers were in the military. One moved all around the country. Another ended up stationed in japan. And the third somewhere in the middle east. If my boyfriend were to join, I have no idea where he would end up. And he would have to be honorably discharged to get the benefits he would be enlisting for (basically he would enlist to have school paid for). Its really a huge decision that requires a lot of communication.

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 02:06 PM

If you have a hard time with communication then the military isn't for you as a couple. He will be gone for months to boot camp and you can't go along, then he will be gone for months to ATI camp and you can't go along.

What would you do if he got shipped to Iraq for a year? You know you can't go along, right?

My son is currently in Iraq, he and his wife have been together for 5 years and they are a beautiful loving couple. However, this distance is disruptive to them.

You might want to re-think this idea.

hheath541 · Mar 10, 2010, 02:22 PM

Have you considered possibly joining yourself? If you think you would do well in the military environment, and you want all the benefits, then why not join?

As mentioned before, for you to get anything out of him joining, you'd have to be married. If you can't even bring this up to him, you're nowhere near being ready to get married. I don't think you could even live on base with him if you aren't married (someone with more direct knowledge may be able to correct me on that).

If he joins, and you don't get married, then he's the one who gets all the benefits. He'll have his college paid for. He'll have health care. He'll have housing. He'll have the paychecks. He'll have the training and discipline and support. You'll have a boyfriend who has those things.

Strength89 · May 4, 2010, 05:34 PM

The only way the both of you can benefit from the military is if (like stated numerous times above) you two are married.

Even then, there are still many sacrifices to be made. Are you willing to make sacrifice after sacrifice for as long as one of you in in the military?

Joining the military isn't a joke so before you bring it up to him, do your homework. Make sure you know enough about the military before deciding that it's a good life style. The military isn't just about good benefits.

Good benefits come with great sacrifices.

Please do not fail to realize that although service members receive a lot, they also give a lot.