Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    AlwysConfezzled's Avatar
    AlwysConfezzled Posts: 42, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Mar 6, 2010, 06:32 PM
    How do I handle my boyfriend falling for my best friend AND me?
    My boyfriend is the kind of guy who is open always. He comes to my house to give me roses on valintines day, and he even gave me the prettiest locket on Christmas. People argue that I'm too young to be in love, but what do they know about me? I mean, how many teenage boys are like that? Just recently he told me that he loved my best friend too.

    I saw this from the beginning, right after he introduced us. Later that week I mentioned this to her and she assured me it was OK. She liked another guy. Even as I am typing I am struggling to hold back tears.

    I always imagined us being together forever. After all, we were bestfriends since he was showing off his nerdy math skills in third grade. One of our shared friends, my friend since second, said it wouldn't surprise him if we were dating by fourth. So, why is the only thing in pratically the universe that can break us up my sister-in-all-but-blood?

    My friend who he is falling for has called him out several times on this. When she told me this I was a little nervous. So, she knew first? In my head I am trying to justify all of this. I love him SOOOOO much, I don't want to lose him. We all want to stick together after graduating high school. But all of this is happening so fast, I have no clue what to do.

    Do I hold onto this relationship as long as I can or let it go for a while so he can collect himself and decide? I'm young enough that I can find a new guy, but, do I want to?
    letmetellu's Avatar
    letmetellu Posts: 3,151, Reputation: 317
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 6, 2010, 08:23 PM

    I am not sure how old you are but you post is under teenagers so I feel you are fairly young. My suggestion to you is to let things cool between you and your boyfriend. He sounds real immature and does not know for sure what he wants.

    Also you said he is the love of you life and that you had thought of being together the rest of your lives. Well I will tell you love at your age is fickle, and before you find the real love of your life you may have several guys pass through your life that you think are the ones.

    Giving up on a boyfriend is a hard thing to do but if you do it you will soon notice several things that will tell you that this was not the boy for you.

    Good luck to you and don't tie yourself down to one guy, date others or you will never know how guys are different and how different they can treat a girl. You are young and that does not last long so have fun, be a teenager and do teenager things.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 6, 2010, 08:55 PM

    Just get real with him. Life isn't burger king and he can't have it his way.
    AlwysConfezzled's Avatar
    AlwysConfezzled Posts: 42, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Mar 7, 2010, 10:01 AM

    Well, I seem to have left out that he is very mature, so that is not the problem.

    As a matter of fact, he hates these feelings for my best friend.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Mar 7, 2010, 10:21 AM

    Its not what's said, its about what he does, and pursuing you, and your friend is NOT mature.

    You do best to leave him alone just to protect yourself. Maybe you see this as a forever thing but its obvious he does not, matter of fact he sounds like he just wants a girlfriend, just to have one and I don't care how sweet you think he is and whatever gifts he has gotten you, he likes you both.

    Its not anyone's fault whether he likes you, or her. Its all on him.

    Move on!!
    faeriechild's Avatar
    faeriechild Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Mar 7, 2010, 10:46 AM

    YOU need to leave him alone and tell him that I don't want a guy for just now Iwant a real realationship
    AlwysConfezzled's Avatar
    AlwysConfezzled Posts: 42, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Mar 7, 2010, 02:05 PM

    Hold up! He IS sweet. I guess I need to clearify.

    HE DOESN'T LIKE THESE FEELINGS FOR HER!

    In fact he keeps beating himself up because of them!

    I guess what I'm really saying is, How do I get his mind off her and back on me as he wants it? He isn't the one at fault here, I am, I saw this from the beginning, that he LIKED her.

    I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HELP ME FIX MY MISTAKE

    PLEASE HELP ME! I will totally lose it without him! School is killing me and I am trying only to move up a grade and stay with him.


    Andall of my friends are his friends too. Breaking up should be a last resort, they would be forced to pick sides.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #8

    Mar 7, 2010, 02:45 PM

    You just told another poster love conquers all, so just chat with him. Let us know how that works, and while you're at it, explain why HIS feelings are YOUR mistake?

    Do you honestly think you can change his feelings? That really is up to him.
    HE DOESN'T LIKE THESE FEELINGS FOR HER!
    And what is he doing about it, besides beating himself up?
    AlwysConfezzled's Avatar
    AlwysConfezzled Posts: 42, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Mar 7, 2010, 03:07 PM

    He is apologizing repeatedly and making me love him more. I feel tatally crappy, his family seems a mess and his life seems tormoil, I'm not trying to make him feel better,

    I'M A BAD GIRLFRIEND!

    Thanks sooooo much for making me think more deeply on this, all I could think of was losing him! Now I see what I need to do! I get why he likes her as he likes me now, I AM BEING THE IMATURE ONE!

    talaniman, thank you X infinity for helping me!
    letmetellu's Avatar
    letmetellu Posts: 3,151, Reputation: 317
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Mar 7, 2010, 06:37 PM

    I hope you mean what you told talaniman because realizing that he is not the one for you will make things easier for you in the future.
    AlwysConfezzled's Avatar
    AlwysConfezzled Posts: 42, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Mar 8, 2010, 02:39 PM

    Not really, we worked it out! He spent the weekend contemplating and discovered that his love for my best friends is more like a sister. I think that people are wrong about this impending break-up. We were best friends for years before it became something more. Not to mention having a crush on each other all the way. It isn't just black & white, it is more like tie-dye.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #12

    Mar 8, 2010, 05:44 PM

    Glad he figured things out before you popped a gasket!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Moen handle falling off [ 10 Answers ]

I have a moen Monticello two handle bathroom faucet. The handles keep falling off. I've had it fixed once and decided it's time to figure out how to do it. Any thoughts? Does it just take a special tool? Any help will be appreciated.

Falling for Friend [ 5 Answers ]

I have a dilemma that is causing me a lot of grief right now. I have a good, male friend who pretty much knows everything about me. We've been friends for over a year now... and nothing more. Recently, I've found myself being attracted to him, thinking a lot about him, and I'm starting to think...

Falling for my best friend.I don't know what to do. [ 13 Answers ]

Hello! I'm here cause I think I am falling for my best friend :S... Our friendship is really good... I can't even describe how great it is. The point is, I really LOVE my best friend just as a friend I mean, but recently I've been feeling really weird about her, I have a really hard time when it...

Falling in love with boyfriend/husband's best friend [ 13 Answers ]

Ok, so I tried to type this up once and it was a novel let me try to list the major points instead: - I had an excellent childhood. My adolescence has been riddled with sexual, emotional, and physical abuse from the romantic men in my life from the age of 13 - My current ex (Mark) has been a...

Shower tile/handle keeps falling off [ 1 Answers ]

I have a moulded tile in the center wall of my shower that doubles as a grip handle and a soap caddy. I accidentally put too much weight on it one day and it came crashing down, bringing a few surrounding tiles with it. My boyfriend and I have tried many times and many different methods to resecure...


View more questions Search