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spidergeez · Mar 6, 2010, 04:12 AM

My ex recently posted some comments on my fb wall. Should I reply? We broke up last year.

amicon · Mar 6, 2010, 04:26 AM

I wouldn't.
The past is the past.
Ignore her comments.

spidergeez · Mar 6, 2010, 04:45 AM

Why does she need to post comments on my wall? I don't get it. Is she trying to get back with me? Or she just wants to be friends?

amicon · Mar 6, 2010, 05:04 AM

Only she knows why-did she break up with you or was it mutual?
Most likely she's trying to get some kind of reaction from you.

spidergeez · Mar 6, 2010, 05:22 AM

She was the one who broke up with me. It wasn't mutual. I did ask her to stay when she dropped the bomb but she refused to listen. Is it possible she's trying to make peace with me and completely over me?

amicon · Mar 6, 2010, 05:47 AM

Again,nobody can tell you how she feels.
By posting,it seems,and this can only be a guess,that she is trying to get some kind of reaction from you.

The important thing is how you feel,are you over her?
If you are not,don't break NC just to reply to some message on FB.

spidergeez · Mar 6, 2010, 08:28 AM

I'm not really over her yet and I thought of deleting her post. Should I?

amicon · Mar 6, 2010, 08:56 AM

Yes,spider,delete and continue healing.

Good luck.

talaniman · Mar 6, 2010, 10:55 AM

If you can't be friends then leave her alone, and keep working on your own self.

none12345 · Mar 6, 2010, 12:04 PM

More importantly, why is your ex still a contact on Facebook? Obviously you and your ex aren't in good terms that is why you are posting this. So don't reply, delete your ex off your friends list and continue healing.

neverme · Mar 6, 2010, 12:37 PM

Yup delete them from your Facebook and your thoughts. No matte what she wants, whether to get back together or be friends, you are not able for this.

As for getting back together? It is easy to get nostagic about a past relationship but you broke up for a reason, not yours, and the healing process is a long one, do you really want to start it again if she just decides in a week or two that this was a bad idea?

As for being friends, you are not over her and having romantic feelings for someone that doesn't have them for you is one of the hardest situatuions to deal with. Add a back story to that and it's near on debilitating! Are you really going to WILLINGLY put yourself in this position... I wouldn't!

Jake2008 · Mar 7, 2010, 08:12 AM

Do what is comfortable to you. If her messages on Facebook are friendly and you want to respond, respond. If you think that you can't handle communicating with her, then don't.

It is difficult to erase somebody from your life, when they have been significant. They do not disappear, nor do the memories. If you had mutual friends, you can't throw invisibility dust on her and she'll go 'poof'.

Be strong enough to decide for yourself what is the right thing for you to do. Answering her posts may very well confirm you did the right thing in splitting with her. It does not mean that you're going back to square one, and all that you have become after the breakup has to start all over again.

We are adults here right?

Just my opinion.

spidergeez · Mar 7, 2010, 08:53 AM

Here's her message on my wall 'hope you had a good time :)'... by the way, she removed me from fb the moment she walked out of my life. I heard from one of our mutual friends that she's ready to make peace with me. Can I say that she just wants to be friends and no other motive behind?

talaniman · Mar 7, 2010, 08:58 AM

Where you got the idea that we can read her mind when you who know her better than us cannot, escapes me.

If you want the truth, get it from the horses mouth. I hardly think you can base anything on what she posted, and I would never just trust the words of a third party.

How you manage your Facebook is up to you, but reading false hope, or hidden agendas into what's posted, is plain crazy.

amicon · Mar 7, 2010, 09:10 AM

I still say ignore it and ignore gossipy information-dont open up a can of worms-work on getting over her instead.

sunsandmoons · Mar 7, 2010, 09:11 AM

People will do this for all sorts of reasons from my experience. An ex added me on Facebook a year and a half after we broke up. I was completely over her so thought I would be friendly an posted on her wall asking how she was doing. I got no response. About 2 months later I was taking a bus, she by chance got on the same bus came up and asked may she sit with me. I said sure why not. The bus ride was an hour. We had a friendly conversation and she was asking how I was. She was very flirty, kept placing her hand on my arm and shoulder. Made a couple of references to the past. She actually got a phone call from her current boyfriend, she looked at the screen of her phone, saw his name and ignored the call and kept talking to me haha.

None of this made any difference, it just reinforced my poor opinion of this girl. I'd never touch her again with a 10 foot pole.

Moral is, you can never tell another persons intentions.

If you still in the back of your mind feel/wish there was a chance for you two, you'll debate her motives and your decision to reply or not will be mostly based upon this.

talaniman · Mar 7, 2010, 09:23 AM

Its so easy to live rent free in someone else's mind. Just post on their Facebook "Hi, how you been", and watch while their mind races at 100 miles an hour trying to figure out what it means. LOL!!

sunsandmoons · Mar 7, 2010, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Its so easy to live rent free in someone else's mind. Just post on their facebook "Hi, how you been", and watch while their mind races at 100 miles an hour trying to figure out what it means. LOL!!!

Haha I love that expression.

best option is to either not have them on any social networking sites, or if you're completely over them, don't read too much into it.