[91s10blazer]

A little backround into my relationship, Im now 19 and she 18. We have been together a year and a half. We fell fast, the moons were aligned so to say and things just moved very quickly, after about a year She decided we were "too serious" and things went down hill from there. She cut herself away from me and stopped telling me things or caring about me or our relationship in gereral. This of corse freaked me out and I made the mistake of trying harder and pushing our relationship harder. Hindsight being 20/20 I should have backed off. Never the less things got worse, we started fighting (we never did before) and she became unhappy with everything in her life and pushed me away farther. At about this point she began dropping suttle hints of wanting a "break". I blew this off because to me the idea seems utterly retarted, you either want to be with someone or you don't and I voiced my feeling on the subject. Her hints have become louder and louder (me ignoring them all) until today she basically gave me the ultimadum of breaking up or taking a break. She said she wants to "see other people" and wants me to also, that she is young and doesn't want to make a mistake getting to serious so young. So now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, 1. I don't want anyone else and the chances of me actually taking a interest in another girl are slim to none. 2. If she dates another guy the chances of me taking her back are again slim to none, I would always feel betrayed and couldn't stand the thought of her being with another guy, it just wouldn't work. 3. I couple weeks ago I found some flirty text messages on her phone from a guy at her work who to me seems like her type. One of the messages from him saying "Whats cooking good looking" and other things I would consider crossed the line of friends or coworkers. I confronted her and we fought about it. I reciently discovered she went to a common date spot alone with him, she claimed more people were supposed to come but neer did. I don't think she would do this on account of her being a honest and trustworthy person but I flipped out none the less. So the root of the question, What does this break mean? She laid out some ground rules saying that I am not allowed to text or call her and she will let me know in a couple weeks what she has decided. I am still utterly confused about shy she is doing this or what she hopes to gain from this. I figure, 1. I sufficated her and she just wants temp. space 2. She wants to see were this relationship with her new guy will go and is putting me on the back burner 3. She is wanting to break up but doesn't want to come out and say it. Any help is greatly appreciated, sorry for all the reading but I wanted to paint a full picture of what is going on in this loony situation.:confused:

[91s10blazer]

Forgot to say that I love her, I really do, even for my age I am still rather sure. She seems skeptical about "love" however she does say she loves me. I am not sure she means it.

[amicon]

In my opinion,a break often means-'wanting to break up,but holding on to the relationship,in case they change their mind'.

It seems her feelings have changed and you're being put on hold as the backup guy.

Bad place to be,so do no contact for yourself and start living your own life.

[91s10blazer]

Furthermore, If I find out there is another guy the door leading to this relationship will close. I refuse to be taken advantage of and will not allow her to go "try" other guys and come back to me. I am being optimistic I guess hoping this is not the case.

[amicon]

She is laying out all the rules and is telling you what you can or can not do.

If anyone were to do that to me,I'd be down the road as of yesterday.

You,nobody else,is in charge of your life.

[Romefalls19]

Break - ending the relationship on their end while giving you hope so it's less painful in there mind.

Not many breaks result in getting back together

[neverme]

All of the rest of the posters are correct.

She is breaking up with you in my opinion and the signs have been there for a while.

Think about it like this, if you were to get back together how would you know that option a or b, her keeping you on the back burner or pursuing a relationship with this other guy, didn't happen? You wouldn't, not catagorically.

My advice, move on. Your other option is to wait around to MAYBE have a relationship with a girl should she decide that is what she wants... not for me, anyway.

[talaniman]

Sorry guy, but you must recognize its over, and she is trying to get you to give up, and leave her alone. It no longer matters how in love you are, as her feelings have changed and she no longer wants any romance with you. Take the hint, because she has already started to do her thing, and you should do the same, because chances are she has no intention of coming back.

A break means its over, and you have to find someone else. You will in time once the shock has worn off at being dumped, and reality becomes rather obvious.

[91s10blazer]

She text me most of the day today (she text me not I text her)and told me she missed me and so on but quit around 8oclock and has ignored me. This girl is really confusing.

[amicon]

So you start ignoring her-dont let her pull your strings.

Start no contact for yourself and leave her confusing little mindgames in the past.

[91s10blazer]

Ok, I think I have figured out her game, Apparently awhile back her dad told her something to the effect of if you love something and let it go its true love if it comes back. And she is apparently testing our love to see if it is true? Again this seems utterly retarted to me and really just pisses me off that she would be willing to put what we had in jeopardy.

[amicon]

False hope and wishful thinking-if something isn't broken and it works,why break it so it has to be fixed?

You are overanalyzing.

Look at the facts,using your head,not your heart.

[91s10blazer]

Yep everyone was right, she just broke up with me. Should have listened.

[amicon]

Sorry 91-it sucks-I suggest you go total no contact now and start healing.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

Take care.

[Kitkat22]

I have to agree! Don't hang around waiting for crumbs she might throw or you'll be miserable.

[91s10blazer]

Thanks guys.

[Kitkat22]

Thanks guys.

Good Luck... Blessings

[neverme]

Absolutely, move on. Someone without the respect and maturity to be genuine with you doesn't deserve your love or time.

NC and healing time now, have a look at the stickies, they're really helpful :)

PS if you want to talk or vent come on back, you have people that want to listen and help you here.

[91s10blazer]

Ok more help is needed, spent along time talking with her yesterday and although she refused to re-enter a relationship with me I found out her motivation behind this, she says that she has felt sufficated and has become pretty depressed and that she wants time to get out and enjoy life and have fun with her friends without feeling tied down. She said that over the past two years we have gotten to close and she feels like were married and she doesn't want that right now because she is a 18y/o girl. Before I get into the rest of what she said I want to say that this girl is not a drama queen and is not a skank in anyway and the recient things that have happoned with us are really out of character for her. That being said she told me that she wants to take a break from our relationship for a month. And here are her terms, She said that she wants to be able to go on dates with other guys and said I should too. But that she doesn't want either of us to actually enter a relationship with anyone and that neither of us should make it to third base. She said that she only wants to talk to me once a night and wants to keep contact to a minimal but that I can take her out on a date or two a week. I agreed to her terms because I am in love with her and want to see our relationship threw to the end even though this "break" will kill me. I kissed her during this talk and she didn't stop me or push me away she kissed back. So we parted ways and I didn't expect to hear from her for awhile. She then proceeds to text me about two hours later and has been talking to me ever since, she made plans to hang out with me today and wants me to go out to a fair with me tomorrow and even told me she loves me when she called last night. I don't get this girl! I asked her if there was another guy she was interested in and she said no that its not that she wants to go out and find dates it's that if the opportunity arises she doesn't want to be tied down. Some one put this into guy terms for me so I can understand what is going on here lol:eek::confused::eek::confused: p.s. the chances of me actually cutting contact with her are slim to none, I'm head over heels for this girl and can't help it lol HELP!!

[amicon]

Then all you can do is dance around to her tune and hop,skip and jump as you're allowing her to call all the shots.

Try disappearing instead and go live your own life.