[gasta]

Hello Everyone,
My girlfriend and I met in 2006 in Madrid, we fell in love quickly but there was time to be back to our coutries, we maintained a long distance relationship and it wasthe happiest moments in our lives to see each other every time and every time , we’ve been together physically a full time of one year and some months in the 3 and a half years and in different places. I visited her in her country many times, she visited me many times too.
My parents loved her, her parents loves me, it was just excellent.
I was and am planning to move together with her in a third country, I am actively searching a job in places where we can be together.Now she went to Bolivia in September 2009 for an internship, she kept an everyday contact with me until the 26th of January 2010.
When we met in Summer 2009:Knowing that she is 23 she said these things:
"I don’t want to take long term decisions, I am young.
When did we have the time to be a couple, it went too serious after a year or so.
What about my family, maybe I don’t wanna be faraway from them on the long term.
I am tired of making serious decisions I am young.
We broke up for one night in November 2009: the day after she called me saying: the love is too big, we cannot end it, it needs much more to do it.
26 th January 2010
I want to travel for some years.
It’s more exciting to live abroad.
I want to be in a country where they speak Spanish. ( I don't speak Spanish, she does)
You have never been here ( in BL) you don’t know what it is like (she means it’s fantastic to be there)
I found a man(about me) that I could be with my whole life, that’s f*** scary.
What is normal is that I am gonna end up in my country not in yours (we spoke about settling down in my country on the long term) .
I don’t know, I am confused.
I am frustrated, I need some love and care, I am tired of not finding you beside me.
I am tired of you not understanding what I am saying all the time.
I need a break from you."
No news from this day, I called her saying that we need to speak, she was not sensitive to my Call, she didn’t reply to my emails, where I specifically asked her to take a decision an tell me.
I am doubting she met someone, but she didn’t even speak to me about anything, how can she be so brutal , there was no official closure, what am I supposed to do knowing that I wish she will be back, We match and I saw her as the right one.
Waiting for your advices, thanks to all of u in advance.

[amicon]

I'm sorry,but it seems it's over and your ex has gone no contact with you.

Try to accept that its over and begin healing from the breakup.

Do NC yourself and don't contact her.

At the top of the relationship page there are stickies with advice on how to handle breakups.

Take care.

[Larken85]

I don't know buddy, sorry. It seems over. Go no contact yourself, but just take care OK man. I hope you'll be all right. And you'll find a better woman, maybe you'll find the woman. Good luck

[talaniman]

What a shame, all that love wasn't enough to get you what you wanted from her. It happens, and your official closure comes from accepting the end of a thrilling ride.

Heal, and there will be more rides to enjoy on your journey through life. She just didn't want to be the one, and is enjoying doing her thing without you. I suggest the same for you.

[gasta]

It's a real pity, I am just wondering: how come she didn't even say it to me, she didn't even discuss anything, about why? How and for what? This is very selfish, maybe she's protecting her self or protecting me, but I have never known her this way, we always discuss things, why not this time? I don't get it

[amicon]

You may never get any answers to those questions,so overandalyzing her behaviour will only add to your confusion.

For whatever reasons,her feelings changed.

Once you accept that you will be able to move on.

[gasta]

She will get out of the atmosphere she's in now as soon as she comes back to her country in the end of March, I am sure she will be more reasonable, and she might give me a call to, what should I do? What's best for me?
Thank you

[neverme]

I think that the rest of the posters are correct it seems that she has dumped you and either doesn't have the heart or the cajonas to do with a bit of respect for you and the love you shared.

I think that you should steer well clear of this girl should she come home and decide she wants to pick you up again like nothing happened. You are better than this treatment.

In my opinion, time to start NC and the healing process.

You need to accept this and that will be your closure you may never get it from anywhere else.

[Devorameira]

Let’s be honest—even regular, same-city or same-living-space relationships are hard enough to hold together. It gets a lot harder when you’re living dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of miles apart. You might have started on a firm foundation, but it’s obviously crumbled away.

She’s just changed her mind about the relationship. You need to accept it and move on. Even if she would contact you down the road, you’d be wise to remain NC, unless you’re a fan of pain and heartache.

[gasta]

Hi guys , now 10 days with no contact and to be honnest, I am just so attached to this girl that I don't know how to free myself, I think she's young and she's making a mistake, I soon will move close to her and I really would like to work things out.
What to do? Thanks a lot for your help.

[amicon]

Ten days of no contact is good-keep going.

Your feelings are normal at this stage,I suggest you reread the advice you have been given before to get some perspective.

Good luck.

[talaniman]

She has made her decision, and you must accept it. While your feelings are normal, they will take a while to fade, and you get a handle on those feelings, as the shock is still wearing off and the reality has to set in. This is where you start to rediscover your own individuality, and start to build on it. That's where no contact most helps your healing.

Have you read the stickies at the beginning of this forum? They are a "MUST" read.