[vivia12]

Hello Everyone,

I know its been awhile but I promised myself not to post anymore on this person and also not to expand more time and energy. If you read my previous numerous posts on the subject,I opted for so-called friendship with a guy who not only rejected me,been a real jerk about it,sometimes would speak for a week and disappeared the next,now I believed he finally did ditch me,I haven't heard from him in a month now.
It was an LDr thing,didn't work out at all, he found someone else, I accepted in being friends as he suggested,which we always were and all I really have gotten is crumbs,communication on only his terms,meaning if he doesn't feel like talking to me he won't answer or reply to my e-mails but when he needs to talk I'm always there-stupid me.
For the first time last month we have been speaking consistently,nothing special,just as friends,and the last time we spoke, we talked about current events,also for the first time I had to end the conversation,-in which he usually does because I was out with friends in a bookstore. We did talk for a 35 minutes when he called,then he said let me know when we can speak again. I e-mailed him the next day, he never responded,now its almost the end of the month. I always knew he was a jerk,but not that much of a jerk that he would after all this time blow me off for good.

I am fighting the urge to contact him and ask what's up but giving his history for short disapearances,(not a month like this is)should I just leave it alone for good? It really just eats me up inside,its not enough that I accepted his one-sided friendship but then this. I haven't contacted him after the first email.

[amicon]

This time you turn the tables on him and disappear from his life.

With friends like him,you don't need enemies.

He is a jerk,not a friend.

No more contact,ever, is my advice.

[Gemini54]

Hi Vivia,

I guess what I'd first say to you is that friendships are about reciprocity. What do you actually get from a friendship with him? He seems to get 35 minutes of your time when he wants it (when you're out with other friends what's more), but what do you get in return? Sweet FA, it seems.

So what's the problem with ditching him? Why does he get under your skin so much that you feel the need to talk to him for 35 minutes when you're out with other friends, and then you feel disturbed, irritated and hurt when you don't hear from him again?

You don't need to ACCEPT a one-sided friendship (and his meager crumbs) - you really don't! In the end, as you can patently see, you don't actually get anything for it. Except angst.

You're a smart girl, you know what you have to do. But, it would be good if you could give some thought as to why him blowing you off like this disturbs you so much...

You know he's an insensitive jerk you've always known it - so why do you give him the time of day?

Gem

[dynocompe]

Next time he calls, just make static noises in to the phone, say ohh no, I am losing you, then hang up. And move on.
You're a gorgeous lady and there is many good guys out there!

[vivia12]

Hi Vivia,

I guess what I'd first say to you is that friendships are about reciprocity. What do you actually get from a friendship with him? He seems to get 35 minutes of your time when he wants it (when you're out with other friends what's more), but what do you get in return? Sweet FA, it seems.

So what's the problem with ditching him? Why does he get under your skin so much that you feel the need to talk to him for 35 mins when you're out with other friends, and then you feel disturbed, irritated and hurt when you don't hear from him again?

You don't need to ACCEPT a one-sided friendship (and his meager crumbs) - you really don't! In the end, as you can patently see, you don't actually get anything for it. Except angst.

You're a smart girl, you know what you have to do. But, it would be good if you could give some thought as to why him blowing you off like this disturbs you so much....

You know he's an insensitive jerk you've always known it - so why do you give him the time of day??

Gem

Hi, Gemini,Amicon and Dyno-guy

Thanks Dyno for the compliment,Yes its disturbs me because I really didn't deserve him blowing me off like that,I felt like after all his crumbs,yes its my fault for sticking around for that,and hoping he turn back into the decent caring human being I thought he was. Its like its not enough for him to use and reject me as well as control the communications,friendhip or what have you,and all this time,if you can see my first post he's actually going to totally blow me off?
I realize that there is no way I am going to communicate to him after this,like the first poster's advice,he certainly have people that matter to him and I obviously don't,-only if or when he needs a shoulder to cry on.

It just bothers me that's all.

[talaniman]

Never ever make someone a priority in your life, when you are an option in theirs.

Disappear from his life, as of now, and ignore him forever more.

Problem solved, no if, ands, or butts!

[friend4u178]

Hey Vivia

2 years on and your still letting this guy dictate your feelings ? You know it's wrong but you keep allowing it , time to give him the punt and stop answering when he feels the need to talk to you , and he'll keep doing it because you keep allowing it.

[vivia12]

Hey Vivia

2 years on and your still letting this guy dictate your feelings ? You know it's wrong but you keep allowing it , time to give him the punt and stop answering when he feels the need to talk to you , and he'll keep doing it because you keep allowing it.

Wait this isn't my current thread,its called unavailable guy disappeared,which he did,I thought I t was in the relationship section.

Ok I got it,my thread was merged,that's good, I feel bad always posting about the same jerk,I am aware of that,thanks tal and friend!

I am willing now to finally not ever deal with this jerk again,I would like to have peace and happiness in my life,not misery dealing with an ambivalent jerk who sure wouldn't treat people he did care about in this fashion,I just needed to tell you a'll what's going on.