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    reubenkinara's Avatar
    reubenkinara Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 25, 2010, 11:49 AM
    I want to get adopted
    My mother died when I was4. I'm 14 now. And my father didn't care enough to look after me incidentaly he ran of when he heard about me. So, I live with my grandmother. Its hard living with her. The generation gap raises its ugly head all the time and there is lack of communication. I'm allowed to do nothing. I can't have any friends except for adults or go anywhere. Whereas other children have a curfew I'm just not allowed to do anytinhg. My grandother talks all the time never allows me to speak so I don't really have anyone to confide in. To top it off I'm from england that's where my family is. She moved my to trinidad where she lives so haven't get to see my family for years. I cry all the time and I'm miserable and I get no solace. Various people have spoken to us but the situation has not improved. She's stubborn. I don't think I can really make progress living in this situation. SHe's allways threatening to put me in a home telling me I'm ungrateful but frankly she's just telling me what she's done but she does not care for my immediate needs. Since I have nothing to take away as punnishment she even denies my food sometimes albeit rarly. And last year she stopped me form going to svhooool for like 33 days. I just want out. My sister invited me to live with her she's 24 and willing she understands me and I would get to be near my relatives and away from the situation. The only reason I can think that my grandmother is like this is that when she was younger certain things happened to her it must have affected her deeply and she old too.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Feb 25, 2010, 11:51 AM

    Has your sister seen a lawyer about this?

    Did a court decide you are to live with your grandmother, or was it a family decision?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #3

    Feb 25, 2010, 11:53 AM

    If your grandmother is your legal guardian, then your sister will have to get a lawyer and go to court to challenge the guardianship.

    Is there a school counselor you could talk to about this?
    goodgirl-helpless's Avatar
    goodgirl-helpless Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 26, 2010, 08:57 PM

    Live with your sister... my mom passed away when I was 13... and my dad never ever had time for me... and then he gets married right after... I don't see how he had time for a wife but not for his daughter...
    reubenkinara's Avatar
    reubenkinara Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 4, 2010, 03:52 PM

    Yes she has legal guarienship. Now things are abit better I know that she loves me as long as I'm the perfect chold she does what I want. But what I really want is for someone to accept me for me and cherish and communicate with me.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Mar 4, 2010, 04:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by reubenkinara View Post
    Yes she has legal guarienship. Now things are abit better I know that she loves me as long as I'm the perfect chold she does what I want. But what I really want is for someone to accept me for me and cherish and communicate with me.
    Why not pay her that compliment by accepting her and cherishing her and communicating with her? Does she like to play cards or board games or like to work on jigsaw puzzles? Do any or all of those with her. Suggest to her that the two of you have a special half hour every evening when you read a book together -- take turns reading a chapter or a short story every night. Start with something that isn't too long, such as short stories by Bret Harte or the short novel White Fang by Jack London. Talk with each other about what you've read.

    In order to get respect, you have to give it. Maybe she's missing it in her life too.
    reubenkinara's Avatar
    reubenkinara Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 6, 2010, 06:54 AM

    Your right wondergirl. She's at home by herself all the time I guess when I am my usual teenage self she gets bitter. SO I should be better to her and see what happens.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Mar 6, 2010, 11:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by reubenkinara View Post
    Your right wondergirl. She's at home by herself all the time I guess when I am my usual teenage self she gets bitter. SO I should be better to her and see what happens.
    We learned in counseling grad school that if one person changes, the other person will definitely change in reaction. If you become nice and interested in her life (ask her to tell you about things when she was a little girl -- what toys did she play with, what did she like to eat, what foods did she hate, did she have a pet, etc. -- and help her write this stuff down as a treasure for future generations!! ), she will eventually in reaction become nice and interested in yours. Trust me -- it works!!
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #9

    Mar 28, 2010, 05:21 PM

    Are things improving?
    ninanina's Avatar
    ninanina Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jun 3, 2010, 10:59 PM

    I want to have a new family too :(
    So hard to find it. Do I have to go to the orphanage? Huh!
    I hate to see my family. Dad's cheat on my mom, or other problem. I can't sorvive here :(
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