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thisisit · Feb 20, 2010, 11:02 PM

My son died today. I just found out late tonight when his girlfriend got home from work. He died while he was taking a bath, home alone. He was 32. The police asked me to have someone drive me to his house to meet with them and someone from the coroners office.

I'm sick from grief. I felt that I knew my son was going to die sooner rather than later, but this is still a shock. He had a brain tumor and status epilepticus seizures. He almost died last November from one of those seizures, even though he was already at the hospital when it happened that time, still he almost died and was in a coma and on a respirator for 3 days. This is my second son to die. My first son was killed from an accident at work in 2001.

:( I'm going to be sad for a long time. I feel so sick right now. I can't sleep. Just what I don't want to do, I have to have a funeral for another one of my children.

No question really, just a lamentation...

thisisit · Feb 20, 2010, 11:20 PM

RIP Nathan 32 yrs old 9-3-1977 ~ 2-20-2010

jmjoseph · Feb 20, 2010, 11:34 PM

Please know that I am praying for you. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, unfortunately I don't.

May God give you strength and peace at this time of tragic loss.

J_9 · Feb 20, 2010, 11:49 PM

I am so sorry for your loss, I have no words to express how I feel at this moment. Please rest assured that you are in my thoughts and prayers. May the Lord give you strength and peace.

thisisit · Feb 20, 2010, 11:56 PM

Thank you both, I am going between being numb and bouts of crying with extreme sadness.

jmjoseph · Feb 21, 2010, 12:07 AM

I hope you have some sort of support around you.

Bless you.

KISS · Feb 21, 2010, 12:41 AM

Sorry for your loss. You just don't expect kids to die before their parents.

Gemini54 · Feb 21, 2010, 02:37 AM

I'm so, so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling, and how you're going to feel when the numbness wears off.

There doesn't seem to be any sense to life sometimes does there? Two sons. You don't even look old enough to have a son in his 30's in your photo.

My heart goes out to you, as there are no words adequate enough at a time like this. Please continue to post, if it helps.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 21, 2010, 09:17 AM

We are hear for you, I am so sorry for your loss

thisisit · Feb 21, 2010, 09:57 AM

I was a teenage mom... I'm going back to my son's house in a little while. I think I'm going to have my sister drive me.

thisisit · Feb 21, 2010, 10:05 AM

I was with my son for a little over an hour before the coroner's official got there. I asked the police cover his privates, then I sat on the edge of the tub, stroking his arm, looking at him, trying to hold his hand, crying, stroking his hair... Most of the water had drained from the tub and he was so cold, and stiff, but soft. He looked like he was sleeping. No external injuries.

Big sigh...

I'm not going to make arrangements with a funeral home till after I talk to the coroner. I don't want to call the coroner today, I don't want to do ANY OF THIS!!

KBC · Feb 21, 2010, 10:14 AM

I am very sorry for your loss(es), this isn't something I am good at:(

I will surely be there if you ever need a friend to unload on,a sympathetic ear, any reason..

Be strong.

jmjoseph · Feb 21, 2010, 06:20 PM

Please know that he is at peace. No more headaches, no more worries, no more pain at all. Sometimes God takes the good ones too early. We never know what His plan is or reasons are. We are just left to live with the joy of having known them, even for just a short while.

My heart is hurting for you.

As I tucked my own two sons in for bed tonight, I prayed for you again. I cannot begin to imagine the pain and suffering that you are feeling now. I only can offer you the deepest of sympathy and love right now.

Surround yourself with support and love.

May God help you through the worst of times.

I'm sure your son would want you to be strong, and celebrate his life and his love.

thisisit · Feb 21, 2010, 06:39 PM

Thanks for your kind words. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I feel

Stringer · Feb 21, 2010, 08:31 PM

No one can begin to feel what you are going through This, never. It is so personal, know that we care and we pray for you.

I almost lost my son when he was 23 years old to testicular cancer. After the operation the surgeon came out and said that he just didn't know. He felt that he got every bit of the cancer but he was waiting for the test results. He came back and said that the test showed some concern as testicular cancer jumps around in the body so they had to go back in and remove all his lymph nodes as they indicated that the cancer may be there also.

No one felt like I did at that time, I went outside the hospital and dropped on my knees and prayed, no child should pass before their parent. I cried so hard that I couldn't breath.

I was blessed that Bryan survived, God gave him (and me) a second chance.

Prayers do help, I know this. May God hear your and our prayers for you This. And help you in your sorrow dear.

Stringer

Gemini54 · Feb 21, 2010, 09:06 PM

How are you doing today?

I hope you managed to get a little sleep.

More importantly have you got friends or family that you can be with? Is his dad around to help?

You already know this, but having people around you is really important. You can't do this on your own.

Although I don't know you and neither do any of the other posters our love and prayers are with you. I know the angels are watching over both you and your sons.

ohsohappy · Feb 21, 2010, 09:23 PM

Oh my gosh, this is so sad. I'm so sorry. We love you.

This just sucks. :(
Blatant but honest, it sucks, and nobody ever wants for something like this to happen, especially to someone they care about. I'm thinking of you.

Just know something, he's at peace, and he won't have to worry about seizures or tumors where he is in his part of heaven. There's nothing but love and joy and happiness. I'm sure he's smiling on you, just as my grandmother is for me, sending you all of his love, and telling you that he's okay.

Good luck. We're here if you need a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could do more.

Clough · Feb 21, 2010, 09:29 PM

Dear thisisit!

I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm praying for you!

May you find Peace and Comfort!

JudyKayTee · Feb 22, 2010, 09:22 AM

I also lost a son. It is not like any other grief because it's against nature that the parents outlive the children. I understand some of what you are going through.

I'm sure you know grief is a long road but it doesn't have to be a lonely road - post away!

I am sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts.

thisisit · Feb 22, 2010, 02:13 PM

Thanks everyone. I have not made any arrangements for my son yet. I did go down to Juvenile Court today and file for visitation and companionship with my grandson. I'm not very functional. I am crying a lot and can't think straight half the time. The coroner has no answers yet.