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    hheath541's Avatar
    hheath541 Posts: 2,762, Reputation: 584
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    #41

    Mar 13, 2010, 06:51 PM

    I don't know how I missed this thread until today.

    I wish there was something someone could say to make you feel better and make this easier, but no words can heal grief. Take comfort in your friends and family, and your pets. Let yourself cry when you need to, but find reasons to smile each day. Eventually you'll get to the point where you smile more often than cry when you think of him.

    Nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one. When they're still young it hits all the harder.

    Hug you dog. Hug your son. Hug your grandbaby. Hug your sister. Hug everyone you love and care about. Love them all the more for helping you through this time.
    thisisit's Avatar
    thisisit Posts: 406, Reputation: 57
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    #42

    Mar 14, 2010, 08:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hheath541 View Post
    i don't know how i missed this thread until today.

    i wish there was something someone could say to make you feel better and make this easier, but no words can heal grief. take comfort in your friends and family, and your pets. let yourself cry when you need to, but find reasons to smile each day. eventually you'll get to the point where you smile more often than cry when you think of him.

    nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one. when they're still young it hits all the harder.

    hug you dog. hug your son. hug your grandbaby. hug your sister. hug everyone you love and care about. love them all the more for helping you through this time.
    Thanks!

    I am mentally wandering in unhappy territory as I mourn the loss of my son. I chewed and swallowed the bitter pill. I am so very sad. I cry. I am scatter brained. I am consumed by thoughts of the good, the bad, the ugly, and possibilities lost. I am sad and mad. I guess this is something I have to go through... the alternative is to stop living. I feel like just staying in bed forever, but I force myself to get up and do the basic necessities of life. I think to myself how shocked I am to once again be faced with the agony of losing a child. I've lost interest in things I used to enjoy doing. But, I tell myself, at least I've had a good life. At least my death won't be such a tragedy. I wonder if I'll ever find pleasure again. I'm so sad, but I'm mad too. I'm angry that my sons chose to die before me. I'm angry that I had to spend so much time and energy on *poof* its gone, all for nothing. I feel cheated and robbed. I try to think of the good things, though none of them seems to make up for the bad. All in all, I don't know. I'm so consumed with grief. Some moments are not as bad as others. I laughed last night, watching Tracey Ullman's State of the Union.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #43

    Mar 14, 2010, 09:21 AM

    I absolutely understand what you are feeling, going through, expressing. I found the "possibilities lost" part of your post particularly touching. When my husband died a friend asked me how I was going to go on - I asked her what she thought the alternatives were. So, yes, you have to keep walking.

    Time truly does make it somewhat better - but I'm sure people keep telling you that.

    I remember the first time I laughed I felt so guilty and ashamed but life does have to go on. Anger is an easier, more comfortable, emotion than grief, at least for me. It was when the anger passed and the grief set in that I began to heal.

    I found great comfort in believing that to everything there is a purpose.

    {{ cyber hugs }}
    thisisit's Avatar
    thisisit Posts: 406, Reputation: 57
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    #44

    Mar 14, 2010, 10:09 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I absolutely understand what you are feeling, going through, expressing. I found the "possibilities lost" part of your post particularly touching. When my husband died a friend asked me how I was going to go on - I asked her what she thought the alternatives were. So, yes, you have to keep walking.

    Time truly does make it somewhat better - but I'm sure people keep telling you that.

    I remember the first time I laughed I felt so guilty and ashamed but life does have to go on. Anger is an easier, more comfortable, emotion than grief, at least for me. It was when the anger passed and the grief set in that I began to heal.

    I found great comfort in believing that to everything there is a purpose.

    {{ cyber hugs }}
    Thanks for sharing, that helps too
    letmetellu's Avatar
    letmetellu Posts: 3,151, Reputation: 317
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    #45

    Mar 14, 2010, 11:04 AM

    Remember the good times with your son, the thoughts will make him live forever.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #46

    Mar 26, 2010, 08:26 PM
    How are you doing now, thisisit?
    thisisit's Avatar
    thisisit Posts: 406, Reputation: 57
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    #47

    Mar 29, 2010, 06:22 AM

    I'm working on ending myself imposed isolation... realizing that I'm still alive and have some things I have to do if I want to continue living.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #48

    Mar 29, 2010, 06:26 PM

    I am very sorry for your loss. Your son was a great looking guy with a beautiful smile. Thank you for sharing his photo. I'm glad to know you have a sister there for you. There's really no perfect way to go through this - it's not supposed to happen. Just let people know what you need, let yourself accept support. God bless!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #49

    Mar 29, 2010, 08:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by thisisit View Post
    I'm working on ending my self imposed isolation.... realizing that I'm still alive and have some things I have to do if I want to continue living.

    Yep! Have to continue living! Can be very hard following deaths of relatives and others that are near and dear to us that might not be relatives.

    I had a dear friend die a couple of weeks ago. I'm still trying to work through it...

    Takes time, and trying to go on...

    You can do it! :)
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #50

    Mar 30, 2010, 07:44 AM

    How are you doing? Thinking of you.

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