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Destinyvarney · Feb 18, 2010, 01:25 PM

See I was 13 and I dated a guy who was 21 and we are still together and I'm 15 and he's 22 and I need to know if it is illegal.

HistorianChick · Feb 18, 2010, 01:27 PM

If there is any kind of sexual activity, I would think that it would be illegal.

Why on earth would a 22 year old be interested in a junior high girl?

Something is wrong here...

What do your parents say?

thisisit · Feb 18, 2010, 02:05 PM

Illegal and wrong. There is something wrong with a person who is 21 that wants a relationship with a 13 year old child. That this has gone on for 2 years does not change the facts that it is ILLEGAL and WRONG.

*I should have been more specific in my answer. It is ILLEGAL to have any kind of SEXUAL contact between a 21 yr old and a 13 yr old, and I assumed that was included in 'dating'. If you are not having any sexual activity while you are seeing this person who is 7/8 yrs older, it is not illegal

ScottGem · Feb 18, 2010, 03:21 PM

That should have been Disagrees.

This question has been asked and answered many times. I don't know of any place where there are laws that prohibit dating between a minor and an adult.

All the laws deal with sexual activity.

On the other hand, I can't see what a 21 year old would see in a 13 yr old, except sex. If he is having sex with you, then he's a predator. A 13 yr old shouldn't be doing 1 on 1 dating. I echo the question about what the parents think.

Destinyvarney · Feb 19, 2010, 03:46 AM

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

If there is any kind of sexual activity, I would think that it would be illegal.

Why on earth would a 22 year old be interested in a junior high girl??

Something is wrong here....

What do your parents say?

My parents knew at first and they wer fine with it but my mom and him became friends and they had a disagreement so she told me I had to dump him we have been secretly dating since a week before my b-day almost 2 years ago. Its hard but we do it and there is NO sex involved. We both agreed that we would wait until I was 18 and we wer married. Actually it was his choice for us to wait because I didn't want to

ScottGem · Feb 19, 2010, 12:36 PM

I still have to wonder what a 21 yr old sees in a 13 yr old. Or a 22 yr old with a 15 yr old. You are both from very different maturity levels. Yes I know you are mature for your years. But I'm sorry I don't believe you can be that mature to bridge this gap. Which leave the possibility that he is very immature. Which, of course, presents other problems.

I also think the forbidden fruit aspect is really what's giving this relationship life.

maydaymommy08 · Feb 19, 2010, 12:52 PM

Sweet heart I'm going to let you know right now as a person who has dated a older person I will tell you its wrong the onley reason that he is OK with waiting is because he has a backup sex partner you mat love him or watever but men that old onley have one thing on there mind and if he can get it from you he's getting it somwere else all I can say is calm down and stay a kid for a wile trust your parents they do know what's best

EmoPrincess · Feb 19, 2010, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by maydaymommy08

sweet heart im gonna let u know right now as a person who has dated a older person i will tell u its wrong the onley reason that he is ok with waiting is because he has a backup sex partner u mat love him or watever but men that old onley have one thing on there mind and if he can get it from u hes getting it somwere else all i can say is calm down and stay a kid 4 a wile trust your parents they do know whats best

I meant to put disagree

Fr_Chuck · Feb 19, 2010, 07:45 PM

The 21 is a pediphile and has seroius issues. I would hope that your parents would know better and there are plenty of laws to keep him away from you if your mom does not want him around. At 13, even some "touching" even if not sex is often illegal at that age difference

letmetellu · Feb 19, 2010, 08:18 PM

In my state it is not illegel to date a minor but there are several statutes that would protect the minor and get the adult in lots of trouble. These are things such as "Contributing to the delinquency of a minor" and this covers lots of stuff. Like smoking, drinking, R-rated movies, truancy, violating curfew and many more things.

So I agree with a lot of the others, it is sick.

ohsohappy · Feb 19, 2010, 08:41 PM

Chances are that he DOES have a back up partner. Especially because he's 22 and there's plenty of premiscuous young women out there, and you varely see him. You never really know what he's doing. I really don't think that this is a good idea that you try to stay with this guy. You need to be with a boy that's more on your level, and closer to your age.

Also, any MAN that would want to date a 13 year old CHILD has some SERIOUS issues. Sex or no, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to show that something is very wrong.

Destinyvarney · Feb 19, 2010, 09:29 PM

OK guyz I admit it might be stupid but what if he swears he what do it again and I have done things o see if he will brake up with me and he don't. I even asked him to have sex wit me to see what he would say and he said no so I don't know what to do

ohsohappy · Feb 19, 2010, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by Destinyvarney

ok guyz i admit it might be stupid but wat if he swears he wot do it again and i have done things o see if he will brake up with me and he dont. i even asked him to have sex wit me to see wat he would say and he said no so idk what to do

DO NOT SEE HIM ANYMORE! He already cheated, he's lying. Don't be ridiculous.

ScottGem · Feb 20, 2010, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by Destinyvarney

ok guyz i admit it might be stupid but wat if he swears he wot do it again and i have done things o see if he will brake up with me and he dont. i even asked him to have sex wit me to see wat he would say and he said no so idk what to do

First, please read the rules of this site. This is not texting, we do not allow the use of chatspeak. Please type in full words and sentences.

I don't care if he will not break up with you. You are missing the point here. For him to be interested in a girl as young as you at his age indicates there is something seriously wrong with him. That's why you should run, not walk, away.

ajbreathe · Jan 8, 2011, 12:19 PM

Im sorry but might I say that I am 13 and I have this guy that I like and he likes me he's 21 this is what I know and think, for me there is no contact except for we have long great conversations he's very nice and shy and I know for a fact that sex is not his main goal he just thinks I'm unique because when I first talked to him we had been talking for a while about our morals as humans and lots of other things he asked my age and I said 13 he said that he didn't believe me because I talked as if I was 19 or 18 and I asked him how old he was he said guess and I guessed 19 he said no 21 and I was fine with that to this day he is my absolute best friend we comfort each other when we are upset and we are there for each other when we need to talk he is one of the kindest people in the world and he is a complete gentlemen so I guess what I'm saying is it depends on your maturity do you know how to say "no" and do you know and understand that his motives aren't sexually fueld.

JudyKayTee · Jan 8, 2011, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by ajbreathe

Im sorry but might i say that i am 13 and i have this guy that i like and he likes me he's 21 this is what i know and think, for me there is no contact except for we have long great conversations he's very nice and shy and i know for a fact that sex is not his main goal he just thinks im unique because when i first talked to him we had been talking for a while about our morals as humans and lots of other things he asked my age and i said 13 he said that he didnt belive me because i talked as if i was 19 or 18 and i asked him how old he was he said guess and i guessed 19 he said no 21 and i was fine with that to this day he is my absolute best friend we comfort eachother when we are upset and we are there for eachother when we need to talk he is one of the kindest people in the world and he is a complete gentlemen so i guess what im saying is it depends on your maturity do you know how to say "no" and do you know and understand that his motives aren't sexually fueld.

I'm sorry but I'm older than 13 and find this whole story hard to swallow. The "I'd never guess you were 13. I thought you were much older because you're so smart and mature" is one of the oldest (if NOT the oldest) lines in the dating book and a lot of people who hear it fall for it. Of course he's a complete gentleman - he's an on line friend! I'm surprised that your spelling didn't tip him off to your age.

You aren't dating. You're conversing. Trust me - you don't know for a fact that sex is not his main goal.

Maybe he wants a sexual relationship and maybe he doesn't. He's the only one who knows for a fact.

I don't mean to be harsh here but I think you are hearing a line. It's called "grooming" a person (for an eventual sexual relationship). A 21 year old best friends with a 13 year old? Hard to believe.

What do your parents think about this relationship? I notice you are reading and posting to threads about age differences. Why?

ajbreathe · Jan 10, 2011, 05:41 PM

First off I am actually very mature for my age ask any one of the people that have met me second you just sound like a critic like your saying your perfect your judging other peoples lives here don't be so ignorant

And also he is my best friend and I'm not going to judge his motives by the way my mother knows everything so quit acting like I'm sneeking around hiding from my mother and I'm posting to age threads because I believe strongly in the fact that your age

Is just a number how you act is what actually matters not all 21 year old guys are just predators your being just plain judgemental