[funkygirl613]

The other day,I just remembered something that happened to me in my past.It just all started coming back to me.I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone,and just started having a panic attack.I remembered when I was in 6th grade (I'm in 9th now) that my best friend would always ask for us to kiss, and for me to touch her sexually. I would refuse,but eventually give up because she'd ask so often.Everything lead to "wanna go to your room/outside and kiss? no one will see us"... is this considered rape? Or assault? Could this mean I raped her? I never wanted to do any of this stuff... but if seemed like she knew what she wanted and what she was doing... my boyfiriend (has gone through the same experience) believes I was raped.. please help,and give me your opinions.Thanks.

[justcurious55]

Kissing and touching are not rape. If you were unwilling, it sounds like you were maybe molested. Have you ever talked to an adult about this? Or a counselor?

[funkygirl613]

No I haven't.I just feel really ashamed about it.

[justcurious55]

I haven't been in your situation. But from what I've heard from those who have, that's a normal emotion after forced sexual acts. You shouldn't feel ashamed, but that's one of those things that's easier said. I would encourage you to talk to a counselor, or at least an adult that you trust, about what happened.

[kirriky]

No this is not rape. She asked you to go to another room and kiss her, and you did, on several occasions, although you could have simply walked away, right? Rape is when you do not, or can not, consent to a sex act. If somebody asks you to kiss him/her and you say okay, but then feel bad about it, it doesn't mean that the person raped you, it means you made a poor choice, or changed your mind after you did it.

Many kids experiment sexually (and homo-sexually) at that age, I'd say kissing a best friend is very typical. It's nothing to be ashamed of. However, if you feel you were coerced into it, and now feel guilty, you need to talk about it with a parent, or a doctor, a counsellor, whatever.

You say your boyfriend had the same experience; does that mean he, too, kissed his best friend, and now believes he was raped?

I believe you both need to (separately) talk to an adult about this. If there's something in your past that makes you uncomfortable to the point of having a panic attack, it needs to be addressed.

[Justwantfair]

Many children of this age group experiment, usually with their own sex, sometimes even incestuiously.

You were not of an age to give consent, but being in the same age group as the opposite party, it is likely to be called experimentation, as I believe it was.

Would you want to label this ex-best friend a rapist? It was the sixth grade, there may have bee extenuating circumstances for her, was she being molested or raped?

If you are feeling tramatized about the experience now, I would seek out counseling. I believe this is more common than is talked about, but you should sort out your own feelings.

[funkygirl613]

I wasn't willing to do these things,but I guess I still did them...