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samsclub · Nov 24, 2006, 07:26 PM

I live in North Texas. My ex and I went to mediation this fall he thought that I was in contempt of court and thought I would go to jail. The mediator is a former Texas judge and told him that I would not go to jail and that I was not in contempt. Then we worked out other details but basically everything stayed the same with standard visitation and all.

He then asked the mediator how could he win the kids when they get older and she basically told him how to be a dad and go to every visitation he is entitled to and to call more often and go to their sports activities (which he has not done prior to mediation). He only signed the mediation document because he did not want me to sue for him to start paying for health insurance (he is court ordered to ) and to pay what he is supposed to pay in child support . He is self employed.

My question is this- lately (after mediation) he is "doing" what he is supposed to. This thanksgiving (my thanksgiving) he took them for 5 days. School gets out from Friday to the next Monday and it is my holiday this year. He called and asked and I thought that it would be nice or fair or whatever you call it for him to see them since I was not going out of town anyway. So he returned them Wed. night and I had thanksgiving day with them and my family. Now today- Friday he called and said he would like them for the weekend if possible. I told him that I have plans for the weekend.

My question is this- before mediation I let him visit the kids even on my weekends when ever he would ask. (He would ask about one weekend of mine about once every month and a half or so. (I have even given him my christmas last year because of a special trip he planned with them) But now that I know his intent of suing me for custody within the next two years- should I still let him see them when he asks? Or does this make me look bad and him look good that he is seeing them more and I am giving them to him more? Is this something good for his "case" in the future? Or should I just stick with regular visitation and not let him have them on my weekends when his special events come up on my weekends? Before it did not bother me, but now it does because I worry about losing the kids. Now he is being perfect and I am more concerned about me losing the kids when they turn 12.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 24, 2006, 08:57 PM

Is he paying the insurance and he is current on the child support?

But if he is recording all the extra times he can say you " did not want the kids, so he took them" he could well be planing on using that against you. ( or he may just want to see the kids)

samsclub · Nov 25, 2006, 10:32 AM

He is current on child support not on insurance or insurance copays (doctors visits and meds). It is not that I do not want the kids it is that he says something is going on (a carnival or event and it is on my weekend and he asks if he could take the boys to it). I have never asked him to "watch" the kids for me or I need him to take the kids because of something I need to have done.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 25, 2006, 12:20 PM

No, you misunderstand, I am also wondering, that he will tell the court that you did not want them, so he watched them more than he was down for,

I am very suspect of people who go from no visit to over visit.

Next he is becoming the "fun" parent, going to carnivals and events, and you are the home work, do your chores parent.

Why not use your weekends to do fun things also?