[baseballl11]

So my first day of class this semester I had this really cute girl sit next to me. I wasn't that interested right away, but I noticed that she kept looking over at me. It's an anthropology class, so the teacher was passing around ancient artifacts throughout the classroom. Every time I had to pass it over to her she would look up at me make strong eye contact and smile, almost even giggling sometimes. The first few times it was a little awkward for me because I wasn't interested. However, she kept doing it and I began to look her in the eye and smile back. I honestly couldn't believe how open she was about just looking me in the eyes and smiling. It seemed as if she was extremely interested. So, then I started to notice how pretty she was. It's a lecture class so it's hard to make conversation. I made some small talk here and there but nothing serious. The class is only twcie a week so I had planned to wait for her after class and talk to her the following week. However, unfortunately the school changed our classroom location. It threw the entire class off because it was a completely different set up class room. Anyway, in this new classroom she didn't sit next to me. It's a very small classroom too so there's no room to sit where you want. So after being in this class for a week she sits so far away from me that I can never catch up to her in time to talk to herafter class. And I don't want to rush after her like a weirdo. Therefore, I think I made a huge mistake. I never even found out her name. So I went on our class website and found her name on the attendance sheet. Wow this is embarrassing just typing lol I feel like sucha creep. I looked her up on Facebook and messaged her. The only reason I did this because I truly thought she was interested. She is also very shy, so I knew she would never go out of her way to make conversation. I messaged her: hey I think you're that cute girl in my anthropology class. She responded: thanks hehe I think we used to sit next to each other. My response: yeah when we were in that other room. I wouldn't mind sitting next to you again, I'd like to get to know you better.. She then responded:i feel like everyone gets there so early.. there's only like two seats left by the time I show up haha.. then all I said was: well if you ever see an empty seat don't be shy. She never responded back to that and she hasn't sat next to me ever since. I really feel like I creeped her out and I feel bad cz I'm not a creep lol! I just madea dumb decision. But honestly I wouldn't have been creeped out if someone messaged me that. I won't be upset if she's not interested but I just want her to know that I'm not a creep because now I feel extremely awkward. I'm also confused because of that first week of class, what was that all about?

[rosemcs]

Ahh, the worries of life at a young age! You did what you could to show interest in her, but she is not really reciprocating. You don't need to overanalyze it. Just be friends if you don't have to chase her down the campus. Just take it easy and enjoy what you can learn in anthroplogy. She may have thought you were cute, but may not be interested in pursuing anything.

[dynocompe]

If she was interested she wouldn't find it creepy but flattering. I don't think its creepy in this day an age, that is how everyone seems to communicate, through digital means.

[jaime90]

Just be here friend. There's no need to jump into the flattery and compliments. Get to know her a little better before you decide you want to pursue her.

[JBeaucaire]

You sound a little inexperienced when it comes to "getting to know" someone new, so I'll give you a couple tips.

1) This gets easier over time.

There is no substitute for just "trying" stuff and having it fail or succeed. This is how we develop a conversational technique that is perfectly suited to who we really are and not just some "trick" you try someone suggested.

So, don't beat yourself up if you like someone, try to communicate and fail. This is a learning moment, not a depression moment. Learn from it. What doesn't work... don't repeat that. What "sort of" worked... repeat more of what "sort of" succeeded.

It sounds like she is a FaceBooker, so keep that open.

2) Being "Charming" is nothing more than being sincerely interested in the other person.

If you've ever found someone new you've met to be totally charming, it's probably because they were very good at "focusing on you" in a normal conversational way. We all like to talk about ourselves, when we're at ease, that is.

And don't turn into an "interviewer"... that's creepy, too. Just ask normal questions to get a conversation going and hear what she's saying. No way you won't come up with many natural follow-up questions to what she's talking about. The best questions aren't yes/no, if you can avoid it.

3) Confidence is attractive.

A person who awkwardly approaches a girl and stumbles around trying to talk to her is actually missing the point of the conversation. The point is to talk to her about her or some common topic you have in common.

The point is NOT to succeed at talking to her. Thinking like that means you're actually focusing on yourself, how you'll look to her, how you'll sound, etc. You're mind is on the wrong thing.

So kick yourself in the butt when fear causes you to lack natural confidence when talking to anyone. You have no problems talking to your sister about what's for dinner, do you? You have no problems asking your waiter for a refill on your beverage... politely and pleasantly, right?

Talking to a girl needs to be this relaxed, as if there is nothing wrong and no agenda that needs serving other than "just talking".

Once you get used to talking to anyone, anytime, anywhere about anything, you'll see what I mean.

You can actually practice this... just turn to the person next to you in line at the grocery store and simply ASK them something about themselves... where they got the sweater they're wearing or how they like that brand of yogurt... have they tried any others they didn't like. You will be surprised that most people will mildly startled at first, but will talk to you happily since you asked about them. We all like to express our opinions, hehe.

4) You don't have to impress her, but you will by just being you.

As stated earlier, the first hurdle is just natural, normal conversation about anything, mostly about her. If she's not a snob, she'll reciprocate and ask about you. When you talk about yourself, don't overdo it, but don't lie either. Tell her truthfully what you think/fee/did on that issue then toss it back to her with a similar inquiry about herself.

As long as you're not trying to impress her, you'll make FAR fewer mistakes.

5) Not getting the girl isn't a failure.

Make sure you're OK just being you. You'll go through this process with many people, so practice it with as many as you can until one turns out to clearly be comfortable around you. That girl you'll learn enough about conversationally to naturally know what/where to ask her on an actual date.

For girls that never happens with, it's still a positive learning experience for you, so make yourself keep a positive attitude about it. Enjoy the ride. Laugh at yourself without putting yourself down.

6) Did I mention this gets easier over time?

[talaniman]

She doesn't think you're a creep, just giving you a chance to come forward so she can gauge your interest for herself. That's what some girls do. Keep her talking.

[Jake2008]

You did nothing creepy.