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WayBackHome · Feb 9, 2010, 06:52 PM

Moved to its own thread

After a recent discussion, my ex has agreed to stop messaging me and calling me, and talking to me -- however she continues to contact me. I've had her blocked for 9 weeks now so none of her messages will go through. In addition, I have informed her that I have a new phone number, so she won't text me or call me. We go to the same school and whenever she sees me, she makes a point of approaching me, in an obnoxious fashion. What happens when your ex gf dumps you, and then continues to stalk you in person?

talaniman · Feb 9, 2010, 09:27 PM

Define obnoxious.

Generally, meeting an ex in public is when you are polite but brief. Excuse yourself like your busy. Now if you have to be rude about it?!

Let me also be very honest here as reading over your posts for background, this couldn't have been a very long relationship. And I think maybe stalking is a strong word, so again, define obnoxious and how about some background, like why it ended, and how it started.

rosemcs · Feb 9, 2010, 09:28 PM

Give her the chance to respond to the threat of a restraining order. If she does not back off and you are really disturbed by her, then file one.

Clough · Feb 9, 2010, 09:50 PM

Hi, WayBackHome!

What grade are you in, please?

Thanks!

XxUntouchablexX · Feb 9, 2010, 09:55 PM

Restraining order definitely if you're not exaggerating the time. It's cool if she wants to be friends, but not your creeper.

amicon · Feb 9, 2010, 10:27 PM

I agree with Talaniman,some more information about the relationship would be helpful.

WayBackHome · Feb 9, 2010, 10:48 PM

We are both in college. She is 1yr younger.

I will give a very brief account of events. Basically I was seeing her starting in mid September. We weren't official until November, and we lasted 2 weeks -- however we were intimate since October. She dumped me at the beginning of the third week in November. I did NC and I broke it a few times because she couldn't handle it. I felt that maybe NC was too harsh. I've been officially over her since early January. However she hasn't left me alone since she dumped me in November. Texts, emails, calls, crying, displays of emotion, private videos... (Did I miss anything?).

While we were together she would tell me very hurtful things and attempt to make me jealous by telling me she could trust other guys over me -- which hurt my self-esteem. For example, she would have an issue, and she'd tell me "I can't talk to you about it, I'm talking to (guy) about it". She was a profoundly negative influence on my life. She dumped me because she couldn't love me. So that's justification enough for me to NC her. She tried to hook up with a guy who is one of my better friends also, and TOLD ME about it. While I don't know what they did, it was definitely not something she should have done/told me about if she wanted to be my friend.

Now we go to the same school and she won't stop bothering me, even though she knows I've put up all the walls. She told me things like she could never love me (before she dumped me), and when asked recently, she told me she didn't (this was several days ago). In this same conversation, she agreed to leave me alone. I guess she forgot because she continues to approach me whenever she sees me and is obnoxious (ie: knows that I want to be left alone, and is not respecting my wishes... in addition to being overly happy just to spite me).

I want to clarify that despite the tone of this post: I am actually indifferent to her. She's not hurting me anymore. She's just annoying me. I just want her to go away.

rosemcs · Feb 9, 2010, 11:03 PM

She sounds like she is eleven yrs. Old and very needy. She decided she can't love you after barely going out with you--love? How long did she know you before you went out?

It seems like you really need to vent and I don't blame you. How about the next time she tries talking to you, just look at her very indifferently, say nothing, just walk away, if she follows you, just keep walking, with no expression on your face. Keep doing it every time she comes up to you... discipline yourself to say nothing... then maybe she will leave you alone.

If someone that I liked did that to me at that tender age, I would be very sad and get the hint.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2010, 09:25 AM

Maybe she goes out of her way to prove she is happy, but I think, after a while she will get the hint. Just keep being to busy to talk, and keep walking.

You of all people know how long it takes to get over the idea of being a friend with an ex can take.

WayBackHome · Feb 10, 2010, 10:58 AM

I totally agree with both of you. So basically, I need to ignore, avoid and run away whenever I see her. Hoping that eventually she will give up. Even if we're on the bus together -- I need to wait for the next bus. What if she follows me when I ditch the bus? I'm not overexaggerating this -- she's insane -- she WOULD do it.

Just to reiterate: I don't have any intentions of being friends with her at all. She's had too many chances (my fault, she only deserved 1, and if we're being nice, 2 MAX). When someone displays intention to hurt you, without empathy, you need to run as far as you can. Avoid like the plague so-to-speak.