[itried]

Slept with my best woman friend.

[talaniman]

Why is that a problem, or is it?

[CanIBuyAClue]

Congratulations! *High Fives* But seriously... is this a question or are you just gloating? ;)

[itried]

I wrote up a whole post but when I went to make some edits I accidentally deleted it. I just don't feel like typing it up again.

[Wolfrey]

Lol funny thread

[friend4u178]

I wrote up a whole post but when I went to make some edits I accidentally deleted it. I just don't feel like typing it up again.

Excellent , problem solved ;)

[Romefalls19]

Congratulations? Or is there a weirdness there now?

[darkthrill92]

Coming from a guy who had a similar situation you should defiantly ask yourself these questions, then get in touch with your friends and see how they feel.

A. Do you feel it was a good thing or a bad thing to do in your opinion?
B. What does the friend think about what happened?

C. And how do you move forward, friends, more than friends?

Hope this helps:)

[BabiixG]

I dated my best guy friend of 10 years for 2 years.. we aren't best friends anymore... we're actually enemies It wasn't worth it now I lost my best friend..

[itried]

Here's the broad strokes:

Really good friends for ~10 years. Also close with her parents.
Went out with her. Got drunk.
She told me she loved me.
We slept together.
I spent the night.
Went out for lunch the next day.
I left without saying anything.
Feeling guilty ever since.
Haven't spoken since (~4 months)
I miss her.

[redhed35]

So why don't you call her,tell her you're an idiot and can you talk.

Take it from there.

[itried]

Yeah, red's advice seems to be the most fitting. I felt like an idiot when I last saw her, and I still do. The problem is that I haven't directly said that I wanted to speak to her about that night. I just asked her if she wanted to get together. Once she was out of town and she said she would call when she got back, and the next time she had already made plans. I told her to call me whenever she was free, but I haven't heard a peep out of her.

I know that she's with someone (last I heard) and this complicates issues, but nevertheless, it was still her who came on to me and my reasons for leaving without saying anything to her was out of respect for her current status. Stealing a woman from another man is not all it's cracked up to be, and I know this. I don't want a woman who can be "stolen". I'd want a woman who wants to be with me and makes a decision based on her thoughts and opinions of me. It's so confusing because at the time I wasn't in a place where I thought I could be in a relationship, but things are changing for me, and because of this I think about her all the time now.

I'm just wondering what it is that she could be thinking. I've reached out with no success so I'm thinking that everything is ruined. Friends, lovers, everything. I don't have a clue as to what's going on in her head.

[friend4u178]

I really think if the only reason you want to contact her now is because your hooked on her maybe you should let her be , particularly if she has a new man in her life.

Maybe just send her an email explaining how you feel and let it go from there.

[itried]

I'm not hooked on her. I'd just like to explain myself to her and whatever she does or says is fine by me. It just feels like there's too much history between us for it to wind up like this. I don't want her to think that I'm a jerk.

But, maybe it's too late.

[friend4u178]

You may as well give it a go , what have you got to lose if you think it might already be a lost cause?

Anyway I hope it all works out for you.

[Jake2008]

I agree. After such a long friendship, and one mistake, she will more likely than not, be willing to put it behind her.

I think she's probably feeling the same way you are. My guess is she misses you very much as well.

But, I also get the impression that once that line was crossed, you might be seeing her in a different light, more of a possible girlfriend, than just friend. Perhaps the two of you sleeping together, with her initiating it, was what she was trying to move the relationship past the friendship stage? Trying for a g/f b/f relationship?

Don't waste time worrying about appearing to be a jerk. You could very well miss an opportunity here that you will never regret.

[itried]

Yeah, we've crossed the line I think. Because of that, I definitely do see her in a different light. It's strange really, because I'm torn at the moment. I'm not 100% sure if I want to be in a relationship at all, but on the other hand going from friends to lovers is supposed to be something, that when done right, is supposedly amazing. I definitely see how it could be, because I felt the excitement as well as the calming familiarity of it all that night. It was so nice.

I'm just really concerned with what may happen if it doesn't work out. She's been the one female constant in my life for almost a decade and it's been great to know that she's there if I need her and vice versa.

She's not just "any" girl. This is the problem.

[redhed35]

Its all well and good to talk about what ifs but you will only go around in circles until you find out what she wants.

I would advice not to have the 'relationship' talk unless you know you will make a concerted effort to make it work,if she is not just any girl she deserves your honesty and truth from the get go.

Its going to be different in a romantic relationship with her,if you think you can't handle it,don't go there.

To sum up... first you have to find out what she wants,and even if she is willing to try and be friends again.

[itried]

I agree with you, red. I think that what I really want to do is talk about that night in particular and what it means to her. I know it meant a lot to me, but the difference is that I'm single and she isn't.

My dilemma is that I'm not totally wanting to be in a relationship right now. But if I did turn the corner I would want it to be with her. I can't tell her this of course, because it would be like blackmailing her or holding her as a hostage. I'm pretty sure that unless it's me that brings up what happened she'll just act like it didn't even happen and basically we'll drop off the face of the earth as far as both of us are concerned.

After my last relationship, I don't want to be responsible for breaking up somebody else's. That she cheated on her man with me. If she was any other random girl my opinion of her would not be favourable. The fact that it's her doesn't change my view of her, but I don't want it to begin this way. I have morals, but I've obviously bent them in my favour this time.

Anyway, I've reached out. Lets see what she comes back with.

[neverme]

To be honest it may be best to leave the situation with ye to the side. If she is with someone and you don't really want to be with her anyway why make a big deal of something that is in the past?

Why not try to salvage a friendship out of the mess?

Obviously tread the water, if it seems when you talk to her it is an obstacle then talk about it, but if all your trying to do is rid your conscience of acting not-so-smart then don't put her through the wondering what if game.