[twinkiedooter]

As told to me by a man...

1. Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

2. Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

3. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

4. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing.

5. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

6. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it….. though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator….. ( applies to engineers mainly).

7. Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

8. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

9. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't …and if you are feeling amorous afterwards….then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

10. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

11. Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2010, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest…… Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.

[redhed35]

Oh twink,not that I'm bashing the male species,but how about... because I'm a man I've have a built in map in my head and never need to stop and ask for directions.

Because I'm a man... 'why is there so many dials on the washing machine,you only need one'

Because I'm a man... your pregnant! Your pregnant!. how could YOU let this happen.. man faints.

[Just Dahlia]

Those were all so true, it's making me a little sick:(

[redhed35]

Those were all so true, it's making me a little sick:(

Dig deep dahlia,I bet you have one ready to go!

Because I'm a man... driving is a natural talent,I don't need LESSONS!

Because I'm a man... that 30mph does not apply to me.

[neverme]

Haha great post!

[sergie]

Those were all so true, it's making me a little sick:(

Not so true JD, but its humor, lets enjoy it. :D

[Catsmine]

Because I'm a man, you can get the jam from the jar.

Because I'm a man, it's not your fault.

Because I'm a man, the top shelf can be used.

Because I'm a man, the temperature of your feet is no longer an issue.

[mygirlsdad77]

#10 hits home with me. Other than that, I guess I'm not the typical male.
For #1, I just break the window.
#2, well I guess I'm more of a typical man than I thought.
#11. I refuse to do the rest, but I'm working on it.

[Just Dahlia]

dig deep dahlia,i bet you have one ready to go!

because im a man.....driving is a natural talent,i dont need LESSONS!

becuase im a man...that 30mph does not apply to me.

I really have sooo many, but will depress myself thinking about them.:D

[Clough]

Are you talking about me behind my back, twinkie? ;) :D

[Unknown008]

Good one twinkie! :)

[Clough]

I still think that she is talking about me behind my back! :D

[Unknown008]

Must be! :eek: :p

[Clough]

See, you agree, Jerry! So, it must be so!