[susanlguzz]

I just received my mother's ashes in the Urn. The urn was to be full and I only received about 1/4 of the ashes in the urn. My brother picked up all of the urn's, we had three, all the same size urn. The box was taped but it had two different type of type on the box. What would happen if my brother open my urn and took some of the ashes. Is there any legal recourse?

[Wondergirl]

What was supposed to be put in each urn? Were Mom's ashes supposed to be divided up?

[JudyKayTee]

Agree with Wondergirl - what were your mother's written instructions concerning her ashes?

Who paid for the cremation?

In the event your brother did something he was not "allowed" to do you can sue for monetary damages only - and I don't see any.

[susanlguzz]

Mom's ashes were to be divided up equally into three urn's and the left overs were to be placed in another urn that was purchased.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't understand what happened - are you saying that the ashes were not divided evenly, that one or two urns contained more ashes than the others? (This request was left by your mother in writing, right?)

What are your monetary damages - I don't see any and that is what you sue for.

Is this the result of some sort of family dispute?

[Kitkat22]

I don't think brothers and sisters should get mad over who gets the most ashes. Your mother is gone, instead of fighting over ashes, grieve
Together and help each other through this horrible time.

[Wondergirl]

I wondered (being Wondergirl) what total quantity of ashes these siblings should expect to have received. Here's what Wikipedia says -- Contrary to popular belief, the cremated remains are not ashes in the usual sense, but rather dried bone fragments that have been pulverized, typically in a device called an electric cremated remains processor (or pulverization may be done by hand). This leaves the bone in a fine sand like texture and colour, able to be scattered without need for mixing with any foreign matter. Their weight is approximately 4 pounds (1.8 kg) for adult females and 6 pounds (2.7 kg) for adult males.

Along the way as I continued to research and wonder, I came across this amazing site --

Nadine Jarvis | projects

These sibs could have each had 80 pencils.

[Kitkat22]

If the ashes are going to be scattered, why all the fuss? Wondergirl you really are a wonder! How in the world do you figure some of these things out? My husband reads some of these post and he agrees , there are some very intelligent people who really know their stuff. Blessings

[Wondergirl]

If the ashes are going to be scattered, why all the fuss? Wondergirl you really are a wonder! How in the world do you figure some of these things out? My husband reads some of these post and he agrees , there are some very intelligent people who really know their stuff. Blessings

I'm a Scorpio (a "detective," for whatever that's worth) and have been a librarian for 30+ years, so I've wondered a lot as I've researched reference questions, served patrons, and cataloged books. I'm also a professional counselor, so that takes me into all kinds of wondering.

Now I wonder how many pencils my cremains are equal to.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would even hate to say things I have seen in some of the places that cremate people. Depending on the size of the urn why do you think it should be full??

If this was a regular urn it would be made for all of the ashes and should only be about 1/3 or 1/4 full.

And the probate court is the final rule on dispute over issues in the will. So if you want each to have to answer to this, you would have to file this in probate court

Also the "suppose to " was this in writing in the will, or merely her verbal wishes, that makes a big difference.

[JudyKayTee]

Mom's ashes were to be divided up equally into three urn's and the left overs were to be placed in another urn that was purchased.

Again - was this in writing, who paid for the cremation?

I don't think the crematorium measures out ashes by the tablespoonful. They "guess-timate" what the even portions are. That is difficult due to the bone fragments.