[Valerius]

I'm an eighteen year old guy, and I have severe premature ejaculation. Every time I've had sex, I haven't even lasted a minute. Condom or no condom, masturbating beforehand (excuse the pun), thinking about other things, nothing works.

I can't describe how depressed I am about this - even when I'm alone and exciting myself, I plateau almost instantaneously.

Does anyone have any experience on this? Is there hope for me? I feel this is my tragic downfall, and I'm cursed with an Achilles penis. I've had this problem as long as I can remember :(

[Gemini54]

An Achilles penis - at least you haven't lost your sense of humor!

What I'd suggest is that you look on the internet. There is heaps of advice on exercises that will assist PE. One of the classic ones is pinching the head of the penis as you feel ejaculation coming on (sorry about my pun). An Ex of mine used to do this, and it worked well for him.

Maybe you can also practice holding off ejaculating when you're masturbating. The more that you delay ejaculation on your own, the better you'll be able to put into practice when you're with a partner. But I'm sure you know all that!

The other thing I'd say is that you're 18. Lots of teenage guys can't control their ejaculation and it's time and patience that eventually balance this problem. Don't be too hard on yourself. Becoming sexual is not as natural as everyone would make us believe!

[Catsmine]

Do you always go flaccid after ejaculation? Some guys can maintain an erection for a second climax.

There are numbing creams for inside the condom or there are mechanical devices to keep the penis engorged. Have you tried any of those?

[JK191]

Squeezing your testicles helps quite a lot.

Oh and please don't do it harshly. Just squeeze them gently, you should feel your erection go down just a little.

Works for me anyhow.

[Ash123]

It's NORMAL.
You are 18. Nature wants you to reproduce in your prime (warning).
So, waiting is not always an option. :-)
You will get better... for now, just stay outside her and use your fingers
To bring her to climax via sensual circles on her Clitoris or roof of the vagina "g-spot" with come hither finger move... then go in just after she climaxes to increase her pleasure and yours. If it's only a minute inside she won't notice and think you are a stud.
Sometimes tell her you just want a "quickie" and just relax and let it go...
If you are together a while you will find the staying power increases - for better or for worse.

[Valerius]

Hello everyone. I suppose the title says it all really.

I suffer from extreme premature ejaculation. Have for as long as I can remember... even when I just masturbate, it's stop-start - 5 seconds of stimulation, and it's all over. When I'm with a girl, the performance anxiety is so crushing that I don't even last a second. I realize the fear can be overcome (ahem, excuse the pun.. ) but the biological blow of not being able to have "traditional" sex, is, well, utterly shattering.

This year I was also diagnosed with Peyronie's disease, a disease in which scars form in the penis, downgrading the quality of erection, distorting the penis' appearance, and causing pain. To top it all off, I also have "pearly papules", on my penis, benign bumps that look like an STD.

I have always considered myself mentally strong, but this is too much. I try desperately to stay positive but every time I think about not being able to please a woman, or be confident in a relationship, I am crestfallen. I am a decent looking, outgoing character that people get along with. But I'm suffering on the inside. I have a lot of trouble bringing this up with my family/friends... so I haven't really.

I feel depression setting in, and on top of family problems, and some serious anxiety issues. I am desperate for someone to talk to. Please respond :(:(:(:(:(

[Valerius]

Any advice/words of experience, relation or wisdom would be vastly appreciated

[justcurious55]

Talk to your dr. there's treatment available for peyroinie's. Your sex life doesn't have to be over.

And did your doctor say it's a biological factor causing the premature ejaculation?

[justcurious55]

Any advice/words of experience, relation or wisdom would be vastly appreciated

Not sure how many of our other members are on right now. But if you keep checking back over the next few days, I'm sure there will be plenty of others able to help. I've got to get to bed, but I hope you'll stick around to see what others have to say.

[positiveparent]

You could try the Tantra way for ejaculation control, Ive included it or the basics of it below. #


Tantra Ejaculation Control
A male can increase and expand the amount of ecstasy he can have and at the same time increase the length of time he is able to make love so that his partner has a chance of reaching higher states.

Tantric sex includes ejaculation control. This is an essential skill to master so that during lovemaking, instead of ejaculating at the first peak of energy which a lot of men do, they can learn instead to peak with that energy and use techniques to spread that energy throughout the entire body. Then as the urgency for ejaculation subsides, continue to make love again until reaching another peak - much higher than the first peak and then he can use techniques to peak and spread the energy again. As he Continues to do this, reaching higher and higher peaks of ecstasy and at the same time his beloved is feeling that energy and is being warmed up to higher orgasmic states. Ejaculation control is a skill that can be learned like any other skill. With the guidance of reading “sexual secrets for men: a man can learn to enjoy more and more pleasure without the urgency to come.
In Taoist sexuality writings they say, the woman is like water and the man is like fire. What normally happens is the water puts out the fire too quickly, the man is left exhausted and the woman is frustrated. They say there are in fact nine levels of a woman's orgasm, nine levels that she goes through before she's fully nourished sexually before her Shakti, her sexual spiritual energy is fully awakened. Most women have their first orgasm at level four; the man ejaculates and the other five levels are rarely reached. We as conscious men, as extraordinary lovers need to be able to make love as long as necessary to satisfy our woman and at the same time reach higher orgasmic states ourselves.

There are two tantric sex exercises, two techniques that will help with ejaculation control. One is P.C. Muscle exercises and the other is the breath.

These exercises are also beneficial for women to extend their orgasmic response, taking more pleasure for herself and to give more pleasure to her partner. The P.C. muscle is the major muscle of contraction in both sexes for orgasm, so strengthening it increases sensations of pleasure.

The P.C. muscle extends from the base of the spine where it is connected to the coccyx, to the front of the body where it is connected to the pubic bone.

A good way to locate the P.C. or love muscle for yourself is that next time you are urinating try to stop the flow of urination in mid stream. This will give you the feeling of activating the muscle. Then later on in your own private space practice tensing and releasing the muscle several times so that you get the sense of how to do it you can know. It is a good idea to incorporate these P.C. Muscle exercises into your daily routine, associating them with some particular activity you do independent of your lovemaking sessions. Then these exercises will become habitual and you won't have to set aside a special time to practice. For example you can practice while you drive or travel too and from work. No one will know you are doing it and it can be quite enjoyable. One of our friends in fact, Helen said she started doing this every day for a month while driving to work but unfortunately she had to stop because she said the sensations were getting so strong that she couldn't concentrate at work because she couldn't think about anything else at work other than sex and she couldn't wait to get home to her lover.

And once a man has a strong P/C he can spread the sexual energy up and through his body during lovemaking so he can experience wave after wave of peak pleasure without coming so that he can make love for as long as he chooses, maybe even hours!

Another secret is working with your breath. What most men do as excitement builds up is hold their breath as they get close to climax. If men are to reverse the flow of sexual energy the best way is to breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically.

For women to enhance your own ecstasy you can us the P.C. Muscle and breath exercise also. You can do this at peaks of energy to spread the orgasmic energy throughout the body. Another way you can enhance your pleasure is to mentally trace or visualise the energy running up the inside of the legs through the calf, the knees and thighs up into the vagina. This is especially good to do if the mind is wondering off onto other things while making love; it helps focus the energy.

Some women need to focus it rather than to spread it and this can amplify the orgasmic response you already have and is especially good for women who find orgasm elusive. What you do is to keep squeezing the P.C. Muscles without spreading the energy. To squeeze the muscles and to feel the charge building up and keep squeezing the P.C. again. It is important to release and bear down as well; this also acts as a focus. Playing with these elements of breath, P.C. Muscle, visualisation, as well as movement an sound you can extend your orgasmic potential to one, two, three or even more orgasms. All women are capable of extending their orgasmic potential. The woman's Shakti is unlimited. The Shakti is the sexual spiritual energy of which women are the custodians. As the Shakti awakens so does the priestess, the healer, the empowerer and the goddess of love within.

A woman's sexual awakening can propel her on a spiritual path. Men may practice celibacy and achieve spiritual enlightenment, but according to the Tantric texts women's enlightenment is facilitated by the electric charge of her orgasmic nature.


Authors Details: Dianne and Kerry Riley

Tantric Sex Techniques

[simoneaugie]

Before ejaculation can occur, the scrotum needs to retract bringing the testicles close to the body. Have you tried stretching it downward?

Also if you climax easily, shortly after masturbating, a second, then a third sex act is very possible. In my experience, men take longer and longer each time.

From what I've read, the most important factor is excitement for men, and orgasm for women. With that in mind, make sure she has one or more orgasms before you even start to use your penis.

[SimpleguyJoe]

Yea people really really underestimate the act of foreplay... :(

[talaniman]

If she gets off first, it doesn't matter but when you get off first, you still have to do whatever it takes to get her off, or get pleasure until she does.

Start with her on top, let her do her thing, and then you get yours. Learn the techniques of foreplay, and deal with them liberally, and generously.

Talk to your doctor, he may have some recommendations.