[ladytab]

The issue at hand deals with my younger brother - he's 18 and has been smoking pot for a year or two. He's still in "high school" - he now attends a school in which problem kids and pregnant students go because he refused to even attempt school work - however, he's the top student in his class at Prosser School of Technology for auto mechanics because he loves doing stuff like that. It is possible for him to graduate on time though if he does what he's supposed to do - which will be this up coming May. All of his friends are stoners and most of them graduated last year and either can't keep a job or have flunked out of community college. I want him to stop smoking pot - he's already been in trouble because of it. He drives high and last October he was pulled over and they called my mom because he was only 17 at the time and she couldn't let them take him into jail and unfortunately something happened with his papers there because he was supposed to receive a phone call setting up a court date but that never happened. So, of course he still smokes because apparently he doesn't seem to think he can get into any trouble about this.

I figure by now you're wondering what my parents did about the smoking pot thing since they had to go and pick him up from the police. The most horrible thing about all of this is that my parents LET HIM SMOKE POT! In fact, on occasion they'll smoke with him and his friends. My dad is a recovering alcoholic and my mom a recovering drug addict (crank was her problem) and they've ruined staying sober to smoke pot and since they do it from time to time they (aka, my MOM) don't think that they have the right to tell him not to do something if they do it. I don't know what to do - in most situations telling mom and dad would be helpful but here. Does my bother work? NO. I had to have a job at the age of 16 but he gets to bum money off my parents, go out whenever he wants and smoke pot. My bother and I are VERY different - I'm basically the complete opposite of my family and I really need help to get my brother to stop ruining his life even more - he has made many many mistakes already and he really can't afford any more.

[Alty]

This is a really tough position for you to be in and it's going to get tougher.

The sad thing is, short of turning your brother in (which really wouldn't help much, he'd probably just get a slap on the wrist) or reporting your parents to CPS, there's nothing you can do.

This is an addiction, which you well know, and they won't stop until they're good and ready to stop.

You can however concentrate on your life and continuing to do well. Stay in school, get good grades, put some money aside so that you can move out of this disfunctional situation as soon as you turn 18.

You should be proud that you've managed to avoid becoming a drug addict, especially seeing as you have nothing but bad examples around you.

Good luck.

Edit: oops, for some reason I thought you were only 16. I read that part wrong. How old are you?

[ladytab]

Well, he's already 18 so CPS doesn't help there - my parents do not have any legal responsibility to him because he got married which pretty much emancipated him (they're not together anymore, but still, in at least our state, my parents can't do anything for him or be held responsible for his actions.) Me - I'll be 21 in a few months - in college and working. And as you said - turning him in won't accomplish much - it's pot and he never has a lot of it in his possession. Honestly, I'm thinking that he'll just have to hit a point that will change his mind about all of this or, unfortunately, he'll hit rock bottom once he starts using addictive and harmful drugs.

[Jake2008]

With all the addiction problems in your immediate family, I have to say you are a shining light, and a solid example that you don't have to repeat the mistakes of your family. Your brother will probably see that some day, and then he will need you.

All you can do at this point is let him know that you are there for him when he wants to change, and you'll help him all you can.

I hope it happens sooner rather than later, just be prepared to be tough with him if he begins to count on you for money, or to bail him out, etc.

He's got talent as you said, and with any luck, he'll tap into that when he gets tired of getting nowhere on drugs.

[Gemini54]

The sad thing is, you can't get anyone to do anything. Unless your brother decides, himself, to stop smoking weed - he won't. Unless your parents decide, by themselves, to stop setting a bad example, he won't.

I can absolutely understand your concern and applaud your care. But. And it's big bit. He is then only one that can decide to stop.

By all means tell him about your concern, and if you wanted to take a really big step, you could report him to the police.

It's his life, and it seems that he's already made a few bad decisions. All you can do is lead by example and lead your life with integrity. Good luck!

[cdad]

Maybe right before you move out. And I know it sounds like a stab. But ask your parents in front of your brother what it is like to hit bottom. For most recovering addicts there is a point where they hit bottom and its either return or die. Im sure they have horror stories. Maybe your brother might listen and wake up before he himself hits bottom. The unfortunate part is that in today's times more and more are seeing nothing wrong with smoking a little pot. Quite frankly in most cases that's true. But if he is smoking it and driving or doing other activities.. like working on a car for someone. Hes not only risking his own life but someone else's. Your up against a wall on this one and I applaud you for keeping your head straight. But sometimes you can't look back and just have to keep your eyes on the prize. Hes an adult now ( or trying to play he is one ) and its his life. So your choices are very limited. Sorry but that's the way I see it.