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sexychick · Nov 17, 2006, 08:19 PM

Hi I am 20 years old and my boyfirend and I have been going out for a year now but I know I fake my orgasims with him when we have sex. What should I do? I want to feel having my orgasm so bad even though I only herd from my friends how it feels I never felt it. There was this one time when we went at the beach an had sex on the sand an that was the only time I think I was really close to having my orgasm. But it never happened. I get wet really fast but I just never come I don't know why? Please help me... each time I fake my orgsim I feel really bad when I am done because I am unsatisfied but can't say because I don't know what I am supposed to feel or even do to get one and at the same time I don't want to make my partner dissapointed that he did not please me... please help..

LUNAGODDESS · Nov 17, 2006, 08:37 PM

First of all many women fake the O... this is not unusual... I need to know... are you faking it because he is not the best when it comes to sex?. if so tell him... you need more... most men will love the challenge...

sexychick · Nov 17, 2006, 08:54 PM

My partner is very good when giving me pleasure but trying something more would not hurt I guess.

dbek · Nov 17, 2006, 11:26 PM

I've been married for 11 years and still have yet to have an organism with my husband. No need to fake having one, it's just some women don't accomplish them. You can go to the gynocolgist and talk to them about methods to help.

kyop · Nov 18, 2006, 12:01 AM

Start first by figuring out what you like. This is best done when he's not around. This should obviously be a clitoral orgasm since cervical are WAY harder to achieve. Then, have him help you once. Or, if he can't figure it out or touch you just right, then do it to yourself while he is inside you. A little re-positioning might be necessary. I recommend the spoon position for this sort of activity because he can get a first hand look of what is expected of him.

If you want to achieve cervical, you may need a little help. Some guys just can't reach. Stuff a couple of pillows under your butt to lift everything closer to him. Interestingly enough, too much moisture can actually make things difficult on the guy (can anyone say Catch 22?). I still haven't figured out how to deal with the too much moisture issue except to finish the woman off in a way other than intercourse.

If he cannot manage to give you an orgasm during intercourse, learn to play until you climax and then let him penetrate you. That way you'll both be happy, just at different times.

Oh, and ladies... don't fake. It's like cheating. You may get away with it for a long time but you'll get caught. When you do, it hurts and negates all that has happened in the past. Trust me, a guy would rather have a goal than be lied to.

excon · Nov 18, 2006, 09:03 AM

Hello sexychick:

Intimacy is a lot more than screwing... A LOT more. As a matter of fact, screwing is the mechanics. Intimacy happens in the brain. Guys can get off without intimacy. Ladies can't. Well, most of 'em anyway.

Do you know how I know, that you're not intimate with your boyfriend? Because he doesn't know what's going on with you. If you can't open up to him (and I don't mean open up that way), then you're never going to learn how to orgasm.

AND, if you continue to conceal yourself from him, worse things will happen to your relationship than simply not getting off. The other side of that coin, is once you do reveal yourself, you'll orgasm your head off.

excon

LUNAGODDESS · Nov 18, 2006, 11:25 AM

Picture some Hunk... handsome... with the muscles in the places... that you can say... I liken that... and sweat hits your forehead... mouth starts to watery for something juicy... think about the action... yell to him... tell him where it's hurts... so that he will do it again... big O is coming... get into your head... then you can handle his...

LUNAGODDESS · Nov 19, 2006, 04:42 PM

See how easy that was... it is all in the head... then the body will follow... the journey to the big O is on its way...

GoodSamaritan · Nov 21, 2006, 11:52 AM

SexyChick :

For me personally, giving a woman pleasure is as much (if not more) a part of making love as receiving it... If my woman was not having an orgasm I would want her to tell me so that we could try whatever it takes for her to have one... I'm dating a woman that hardly ever has an orgasm because of being abused during her childhood... Sometimes when we make love (and I say make love because for me it's not just about intercourse) she has an orgasm but sometimes she fakes it and now I've gotten to the point where I 's don't even know when it's real or not... I would love for her to be honest with me and tell me when it's real... I don't mind if she doesn't have an orgasm... She doesn't have to pretend... Not knowing just makes a man doubt everything he does with a woman... Be honest with your man SexyChick... He'll appreciate it more and in the long run so will you

kp2171 · Nov 22, 2006, 12:11 AM

Here's the thing... guys and girls are just structured differently.

With most guys you could find their major errogenous zone wearing oven mitts in the dark. Right?? I mean its right there. Done deal.

A woman, in my limited experience, is more complicated. A lot of talk goes to the c1itoris, but even that isn't the same one to the next. I can count probably eight major errogenous zones in my partner. Ears, neck, breast, lips, c1itoral, labia, anal, g spot. And then there is mental. Various stim at different times is key with her.

Dated one girl who absolutely love hard stim of her c1it... could really get her off almost all the time. Just when I thought I was king and knew it all, the next partner HATED strong c1itoral stim... only liked very light, oral stim until she was ready for more direct.

So... my point is, well a few points.

First, can you get yourself off? If not, try harder, more often, or different things. If you don't know what pleases you, how can you help your partner? Get over it, and get off. And remember, its not just physical. If my partner isn't mentally ready, all the "right moves" won't lead to anything.

Second, once you know what you like, help your partner. Different positions can help. My partner just can't ever get off in the missionary position. She likes it, but it doesn't push her over the edge. On top, she has more control and can get there easier. And then there's another position that is just money for me and gets her there from time to time with multiple stim.

So... the point is you shouldn't fake it. You might need to do some work to figure it out. Do the work. Your guy most likely really wants to please you. With my partner, we often take "turns"... as in ill focus exclusively on her, and then she on me... sometimes it works out for both of us... but not always. The sensations I like aren't always the best for her. The sooner you can talk to your partner about this, the sooner you'll be satisfied.

Krs · Nov 23, 2006, 02:58 AM

I personally think most women orgasm through oral sex... not full intercourse!
Sexychick, have you had the pleasure of experiencing that with boyfriend? ;)

Kadehadaire · Nov 24, 2006, 05:47 AM

you know, I am 20 too, and had the same problem. I was honest about it - he could not understand why I could not come. We kept working at it, and when it finally happened, I knew! I don't know why it came, it just did, and he had to be very persistent and hold back to give me the time I needed. Perhaps that is the key. There are also certain exercises that strengthen the abdon=minal wall and make it easier to climax. Hope it helps!

rc04 · Nov 24, 2006, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by sexychick

Hi i am 20 years old and my boyfirend and i have been going out for a year now but i know i fake my orgasims with him when we have sex. what should i do? i want to feel having my orgasim soo bad even though i only herd from my friends how it feels i never felt it. there was this one time when we went at the beach an had sex on the sand an that was the only time i think i was really close to having my orgasim. but it never happened. i get wet really fast but i just never come i dont knwo why? please help me....each time i fake my orgsim i feel really bad when i am done because i am unsatisfied but can't say because i dont knwo what i am supposed to feel or even do to get one and at the same time i dont want to make my partner dissapointed that he did not please me.... please help..

Come to my house and I will make you have a orgasm

Kadehadaire · Nov 24, 2006, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by rc04

come to my house and i will make you have a orgasim

Yes, because that is so helpful rc04. :mad:

Krs · Nov 24, 2006, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by rc04

come to my house and i will make you have a orgasim

:cool: someone seems overly confident :rolleyes:

JuliAshe · Dec 14, 2006, 11:54 PM

I'm not an expert but I used to fake it with my last boyfriend and I always felt bad. I know how it feels to not be satisfied but to be unable to say anything. I think the best thing to do is tell him that your not orgasming. Make sure he knows its not his fault or anything he is doing wrong. It took me awhile to figure it out but sex is about more than the orgasm. Its about sharing your body with someone you love. Sex isn't about the goal its about enjoying the ride and its important for your guy to know that the ride he gives you is definitely enough for you to come back wanting more.

429729 · Dec 15, 2006, 07:51 PM

If you want to feel an orgasm this is exactly what you should do during sex:

1. have your man sit on a chair
2. sit on top of him and work it
3. eventually you will feel something different ****DON"T STOP OR CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE DOING*****
4. Continue.....and Orgasm

remember to relax....don't think about it....and most importantly BREATHE in and out deeply---it gets your blood flowing to your nether-regions

for the first year of my relationship, i never orgasmed (he's my first & only sex partner)!! then one time when we were having sex I felt a great feeling (like something was about to happen), but my boyfriend moved a little and it was GONE & I didnt orgasm.....but I knew what feeling to look for which indicated an impending orgasm....HOWEVER, the first time I did the chair technique described above I orgasmed.

For some odd reason I can orgasm everytime I have sex--but really only in two positions--the "chair" one & doggstyle with him rubbing my clitoris.

Oral sex is also a great way to orgasm

Some women are just different... for instance my older sister... she thinks I am a total wierdo because I can come every time I have sex & she can't... I think she's the wierdo because I think everyone woman can... you just have to figure out what gets you to that point... and for me it's only those two positions

sallgood · Dec 16, 2006, 03:13 AM

I'm the same as you... its a girl thing... its not htat we want to fake it... but for some people its harder than for others. A lot of people can come from their , but that's not so important when you are having actual intercourse... its not the same... I know. A lot of the time it can be the positions you use, but the reason for that is because depending on the size of his penis he may not hit your g-spot. Its only in one spot, and hey... bigger inst always better... trust me... my boyfriend now is too big so that he passes my gspot and if he doesn't go in all the way than he doesn't get the same pleasure so we cme up with a sysatem... take your time. If you can't talk to him about it it shoulkdne be happening/

heartbeauty · Dec 25, 2006, 08:47 PM

You do not have to do that 40% of women just can not orgasm..
Make him you first by oral sex then let him do his job that is the best way

iiheartloserrrs · Feb 9, 2007, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by sexychick

Hi i am 20 years old and my boyfirend and i have been going out for a year now but i know i fake my orgasims with him when we have sex. what should i do? i want to feel having my orgasim soo bad even though i only herd from my friends how it feels i never felt it. there was this one time when we went at the beach an had sex on the sand an that was the only time i think i was really close to having my orgasim. but it never happened. i get wet really fast but i just never come i dont knwo why? please help me....each time i fake my orgsim i feel really bad when i am done because i am unsatisfied but can't say because i dont knwo what i am supposed to feel or even do to get one and at the same time i dont want to make my partner dissapointed that he did not please me.... please help..

I don't know the answer but
Most guys have told me to
Communicate but I'm too shy!
Don't worry girl I'm the same
Way and its kind of sad!