[bjack77777]

Me and my first love broke up about 2 days ago. Her name is Megan (she is 17 I am 18) and we were in really love with each other. We helped each other with our demons(she had been sexual assaulted and me beaten in our past). We spend almost all our time together (everyday after school) and most all weekends. We had been doing this for almost 1 year. I had truly fell in love with her and gave up my virginity. And when we were together we said intimate I love you's and played around, we almost never fought.

Over the past week things have just fallen apart right in front of me. Her mom has gotten in her head and will not let us be together. And I have no classes with her. She began to say that she was getting tired of her mother and sisters constant "break up with him" yelling.

On Tuesday she hands me a note in the hall. It basically says we need to take a break and that she had been thinking about this for a while. I was heart broken... I wrote her a note saying that if she wants a break OK, but I truly had loved her and If we broke up I don't think we could ever get back together (that was more a bluff than truth). She wrote me back a letter and gave it to me at lunch. It basically said that she was hurt badly by the use of the phrase "I loved you". I heard she started crying in class when she read it. So I ask her to come with me and skip the rest of the day. When we got alone in the car we started taking and we decided to stay together and not let anyone separate us. She said she wanted to run away and everything.

Then the next day was wed. and we got through the end of the day and decided to spend the day together. When we got to my home, I ask her what she thought when she looked at me. She sat their and thought for a moment and said "that I love you". Then her mom called... she said she was coming to pick her up right away. I was really hurt and I ask her to fight to stay here, she said she would try but she didn't want to fight. Her mom and her argued for about two minutes and then she said she had to go. But she wasn't crying or anything. I ask her to but she said her mom wouldn't care. I thought about her constantly for about 2 hour and called her at about 7 p.m.

Then she said something I never thought she would say "I think we need to break up". I started to get upset (crying a little) and then she started too. She said that she had never done this to a boy(great). I had ask here why and she says that she I don't love as much as I used to. That hurt so much. She started to say that I was too controlling and she just never told me. I am a kind of person who will change for someone I love. And I thought "if she just gave me one more shot".Then she goes "but I still love you and I want to be friends". "Odviously not" I said, then she started to really cry hard. Mind you this all happened in less than 26 hours. I said "Goodbye Megan" and she started crying as I hung up.

I started crying and thought why am I doing this? I waited for about two hour and called her back. And she had fallen asleep but her sister woke her up. I ask her if we could just go back to the break, and just dating and that I was so sorry for being controlling. She said OK if I can get a friend to go on a double date the next day.Later I sat in my room and thought what a terrible idea it was to do this double date, if she didn't want to see me fine I thought.

I stayed home on thur. and so did she oddly enough. I guess she thought it was a bad idea too. I called her and basically said that I think we should break up too(I read a note over the phone I wrote the night before). In my heart I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I wanted to just be together with her alone for a hour.

Now today(friday) rolls around. I give her the note I wrote (It basically said you were my first real love) and her ring she gave me. She wrote me back and said that I was her first real love too (that almost made me break down) and that she wouldn't tell my secrets or anything. My note felt heartfelt and her just seemed informal to me. The notes when back and forth all day. Mine heart felt, hers more informal. The last note I said that I didn't know if we could be friends and that I didn't love her anymore and that I wouldn't ask her out again so don't worry. She replyed that if I need time to "Get over it" before we could be friends that OK. And if I didn't want to talk to her it was OK too. And now I am home typing on the computer.

I fell so hurt by her. I just want things to go back the way they were, but I know they can't. Now that you know my story I was wondering if any of you went through anything similar to this breakup. And I need some advice.

What do I do about seeing her every day?

Can we really be friends? What do we do and don't do as friends?

Should I care for her anymore? Would it be a good idea?

How long does it take for this pain to start to fade? Is their anything I can do to speed it up?

Is their anyway to help deal with the pain when she starts to date again? (I just want to finish out high school and date in college)

Should I try to get back together?

And when I do date again what are some ways to not get this hurt again?

Part of me wants to make her hurt and Part of me still loves her what can I do?

Im scared of sinking back into my loneliness and really confused. Sorry for any misspellings. Thanks for reading my long story and giving advice. I am just really hurting right now and I feel so stupid for having loved her so much. If anyone has gone through a rough break up and how they got through it I love to here the story. Or some quick advice.

[blondiechika05]

First thing first, you are NOT stupid for having loved her. I have a feeling her hands are tied and she is pretty much being forced to break up with you, which isn't fair to either one of you.

You have to remember something. You are only 18, you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm only a few years older than you and have been through things like this so I understand what you're going through. You say this all happened only a couple of days ago. Give yourself time, it's going to hurt for a while. In time, you will be able to talk to her and think about the good times you had together.

Here's an example for you. One of my ex-boyfriends broke up with me the night before our 6 month, I was 16, he was 14. We had not seen each other for about two weeks before the breakup, and we didn't see or talk to each other for about a year and a half after. I called him, we got together, then once again didn't see or talk to each other for another year and a half. At this point it was three years later and we both attended our friend's mother's wedding. We actually talked about getting back together for a year, but it never happened. Now he's a good friend of mine.

You have to give it time, plain and simple. You may be able to be friends with her eventually.

To answer the actual questions you asked:

What do you do about seeing her every day? You can say hi to her, ask her how she is. If she doesn't want to talk, don't push it, she may be hurting just as much as you are.

Can you be friends? I think I answered that one above.

What do you do and not do as friends? Think of it this way. You seem like a decent guy, I'm sure you have female friends. How do you act with them? What would you do and not do with them? Apply those answers to this girl.

Should you care for her anymore? Unless she starts to mistreat and/or disrepect you, then yes. You spent a year together, you're not just going to stop caring about her and I'm sure she isn't just going to stop caring about you.

How long will it take for the pain to go away and can you speed it up? There is no set timetable for pain relief and you can't really speed it up, you can just distract yourself from it by keeping yourself busy.

It's going to hurt when she starts dating again, all you can really do is hope for her happiness. Getting back together normally doesn't work, so I wouldn't recommend it.

There is no real way to prevent someone else from hurting you as badly. If you try to stay on your guard, your heart will close and it's going to take a good girl even longer to open your heart again.

Don't do anything out of spite. Just give her her space and give yourself and her time to heal.

That's probably the best advice I can give.

[dbek]

Me and my first love broke up about 2 days ago. Her name is Megan (she is 17 I am 18) and we were in really love with each other. We helped each other with our demons(she had been sexual assaulted and me beaten in our past). We spend almost all our time together (everyday after school) and most all weekends. We had been doing this for almost 1 year. I had truly fell in love with her and gave up my virginity. And when we were together we said intimate I love you's and played around, we almost never fought.

Over the past week things have just fallen apart right in front of me. Her mom has gotten in her head and will not let us be together. And I have no classes with her. She began to say that she was getting tired of her mother and sisters constant "break up with him" yelling.

On tuesday she hands me a note in the hall. It basically says we need to take a break and that she had been thinking about this for a while. I was heart broken... I wrote her a note saying that if she wants a break ok, but I truly had loved her and If we broke up I dont think we could ever get back together (that was more a bluff than truth). She wrote me back a letter and gave it to me at lunch. It basically said that she was hurt badly by the use of the phrase "I loved you". I heard she started crying in class when she read it. So I ask her to come with me and skip the rest of the day. When we got alone in the car we started taking and we decided to stay together and not let anyone separate us. She said she wanted to run away and everything.

Then the next day was wed. and we got thru the end of the day and decided to spend the day together. When we got to my home, i ask her what she thought when she looked at me. She sat their and thought for a moment and said "that I love you". Then her mom called... she said she was coming to pick her up right away. I was really hurt and I ask her to fight to stay here, she said she would try but she didnt want to fight. Her mom and her argued for about two minutes and then she said she had to go. But she wasnt crying or anything. I ask her to but she said her mom wouldnt care. I thought about her constantly for about 2 hour and called her at about 7 p.m.

Then she said something I never thought she would say "I think we need to break up". I started to get upset (crying a little) and then she started too. She said that she had never done this to a boy(great). I had ask here why and she says that she i dont love as much as I used to. That hurt so much. She started to say that i was too controlling and she just never told me. I am a kind of person who will change for someone I love. and I thought "if she just gave me one more shot".Then she goes "but I still love you and I want to be friends". "Odviously not" I said, then she started to really cry hard. Mind you this all happened in less than 26 hours. I said "Goodbye Megan" and she started crying as I hung up.

I started crying and thought why am I doing this? I waited for about two hour and called her back. And she had fallen asleep but her sister woke her up. I ask her if we could just go back to the break, and just dating and that I was so sorry for being controlling. She said ok if I can get a friend to go on a double date the next day.Later I sat in my room and thought what a terrible idea it was to do this double date, if she didnt want to see me fine i thought.

I stayed home on thur. and so did she oddly enough. I guess she thought it was a bad idea too. I called her and basically said that I think we should break up too(i read a note over the phone i wrote the night before). In my heart I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I wanted to just be together with her alone for a hour.

Now today(friday) rolls around. I give her the note I wrote (It basically said you were my first real love) and her ring she gave me. She wrote me back and said that I was her first real love too (that almost made me break down) and that she wouldnt tell my secrets or anything. My note felt heartfelt and her just seemed informal to me. The notes when back and forth all day. Mine heart felt, hers more informal. The last note I said that I didnt know if we could be friends and that i didnt love her anymore and that i wouldnt ask her out again so dont worry. She replyed that if I need time to "Get over it" before we could be friends that ok. And if I didnt want to talk to her it was ok too. And now I am home typing on the computer.

I fell so hurt by her. I just want things to go back the way they were, but I know they can't. Now that you know my story I was wondering if any of you went thru anything similar to this breakup. And I need some advice.

What do I do about seeing her every day?

Can we really be friends? What do we do and dont do as friends?

Should I care for her anymore? would it be a good idea?

How long does it take for this pain to start to fade? Is their anything I can do to speed it up?

Is their anyway to help deal with the pain when she starts to date again? (I just want to finish out highschool and date in college)

Should I try to get back together?

And when I do date again what are some ways to not get this hurt again?

Part of me wants to make her hurt and Part of me still loves her what can I do?

Im scared of sinking back into my loneliness and really confused. Sorry for any misspellings. Thanks for reading my long story and giving advice. I am just really hurting right now and I feel so stupid for having loved her so much. If anyone has gone thru a rough break up and how they got thru it I love to here the story. Or some quick advice.

When I read this I felt the poor girl was stuck in the middle of her mother and you! It was controlling of you to tell her to fight with her mother to stay with you. She probably is overwhelmed and confused. I really think if you have any chances of ever getting her back is to give her some space and quit trying to push it. Sometimes being friends first and then in a relationship later is a good thing. Telling her you don't love her, won't ask her out again etc. was making her farther from you than ever. Be friends first, don't push things and give her some space. I'm not taking her side, cause I see you are really hurt and did care about her very much and you say things out of anger. You both are very young.

[Leocadiya]

Me and my first love broke up about 2 days ago. Her name is Megan (she is 17 I am 18) and we were in really love with each other. We helped each other with our demons(she had been sexual assaulted and me beaten in our past). We spend almost all our time together (everyday after school) and most all weekends. We had been doing this for almost 1 year. I had truly fell in love with her and gave up my virginity. And when we were together we said intimate I love you's and played around, we almost never fought.

Over the past week things have just fallen apart right in front of me. Her mom has gotten in her head and will not let us be together. And I have no classes with her. She began to say that she was getting tired of her mother and sisters constant "break up with him" yelling.

On tuesday she hands me a note in the hall. It basically says we need to take a break and that she had been thinking about this for a while. I was heart broken... I wrote her a note saying that if she wants a break ok, but I truly had loved her and If we broke up I dont think we could ever get back together (that was more a bluff than truth). She wrote me back a letter and gave it to me at lunch. It basically said that she was hurt badly by the use of the phrase "I loved you". I heard she started crying in class when she read it. So I ask her to come with me and skip the rest of the day. When we got alone in the car we started taking and we decided to stay together and not let anyone separate us. She said she wanted to run away and everything.

Then the next day was wed. and we got thru the end of the day and decided to spend the day together. When we got to my home, i ask her what she thought when she looked at me. She sat their and thought for a moment and said "that I love you". Then her mom called... she said she was coming to pick her up right away. I was really hurt and I ask her to fight to stay here, she said she would try but she didnt want to fight. Her mom and her argued for about two minutes and then she said she had to go. But she wasnt crying or anything. I ask her to but she said her mom wouldnt care. I thought about her constantly for about 2 hour and called her at about 7 p.m.

Then she said something I never thought she would say "I think we need to break up". I started to get upset (crying a little) and then she started too. She said that she had never done this to a boy(great). I had ask here why and she says that she i dont love as much as I used to. That hurt so much. She started to say that i was too controlling and she just never told me. I am a kind of person who will change for someone I love. and I thought "if she just gave me one more shot".Then she goes "but I still love you and I want to be friends". "Odviously not" I said, then she started to really cry hard. Mind you this all happened in less than 26 hours. I said "Goodbye Megan" and she started crying as I hung up.

I started crying and thought why am I doing this? I waited for about two hour and called her back. And she had fallen asleep but her sister woke her up. I ask her if we could just go back to the break, and just dating and that I was so sorry for being controlling. She said ok if I can get a friend to go on a double date the next day.Later I sat in my room and thought what a terrible idea it was to do this double date, if she didnt want to see me fine i thought.

I stayed home on thur. and so did she oddly enough. I guess she thought it was a bad idea too. I called her and basically said that I think we should break up too(i read a note over the phone i wrote the night before). In my heart I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I wanted to just be together with her alone for a hour.

Now today(friday) rolls around. I give her the note I wrote (It basically said you were my first real love) and her ring she gave me. She wrote me back and said that I was her first real love too (that almost made me break down) and that she wouldnt tell my secrets or anything. My note felt heartfelt and her just seemed informal to me. The notes when back and forth all day. Mine heart felt, hers more informal. The last note I said that I didnt know if we could be friends and that i didnt love her anymore and that i wouldnt ask her out again so dont worry. She replyed that if I need time to "Get over it" before we could be friends that ok. And if I didnt want to talk to her it was ok too. And now I am home typing on the computer.

I fell so hurt by her. I just want things to go back the way they were, but I know they can't. Now that you know my story I was wondering if any of you went thru anything similar to this breakup. And I need some advice.

What do I do about seeing her every day?

Can we really be friends? What do we do and dont do as friends?

Should I care for her anymore? would it be a good idea?

How long does it take for this pain to start to fade? Is their anything I can do to speed it up?

Is their anyway to help deal with the pain when she starts to date again? (I just want to finish out highschool and date in college)

Should I try to get back together?

And when I do date again what are some ways to not get this hurt again?

Part of me wants to make her hurt and Part of me still loves her what can I do?

Im scared of sinking back into my loneliness and really confused. Sorry for any misspellings. Thanks for reading my long story and giving advice. I am just really hurting right now and I feel so stupid for having loved her so much. If anyone has gone thru a rough break up and how they got thru it I love to here the story. Or some quick advice.

I'm 17, and I also broke up last night with my boyfriend, well we just had to part because his parents told him that he'll never marry me, because ethnic groups, religion... all that crap. I was devastated and fell asleep crying. This morning woke up to find my eyes puffier than cotton balls I decided to just relax. But I kept rethinking everything that happened last night. So... I had an exam today, I got my music and my car, and just drove to school did the exam (surprisingly the whole break up helped me do better)... and when I finished I got into the car turned up the music and just drove... and it was an amazing feeling like I got rid of the pain and the things in my head. That's my advice to you, drive!! I know it might sound silly, but I never cried that much in my life... and after a good 2 hour drive I felt so refreshed...

[talaniman]

Accept that it is over and don't feel like it's the end of the world. The adventure of your life is just starting, so embrace the future. Trust me, guys like you will have many relationships, and you may be hurt now, but there are too many things to do to sit and mope about the past. Getting out in the world and building a life you enjoy will have many rewards as you meet new people and try new things . Keep a positive attitude and you will attract positive people. Go For IT.

[valinors_sorrow]

The pain that you feel now is best served by learning whatever lesson is there for you. I am tempted to say this time the lesson is this: its rarely wise to get between a person and their parent. This is why my husband and I decided long ago that he would deal with his family and I with mine and should either of our families attempt to make trouble, it would be handled between the two who are in trouble and not bleed over. It becomes a different matter when you are older and married -- by then the expectation is that a person has negotiated their way from their primary loyalty being their family of birth to their wedded spouse and the new family they are now creating. But by then hopefully one also realise that love is not a competition and love isn't meant to pull someone away from their family of origin either. Maybe neither of you are there yet but clearly you see that, until you are fully grown adults, families have the means to not only be heard but to very much influence outcomes too. This is true for anyone as young as y'all-- which goes for you Bjack and Leocadiya too. Start now to learn how to better handle inlaws LOL as there are more lessons to come too.

[Kevin589]

I know how you feel. I was in a relationship with whom I thought was the best person in the world. At first I kept my distant as much as I could... This person was the first to ask me if was was a b/f, the first to say I love you, and the first to tell me that I could trust her unlike anyone else... News flash she was also the first to say I only want to be friends... Needless to say this Happened the night before Thanks Giving... I understand that you can not help how you feel and I am glad for the honesty... What I do not understand is we have never really argued and prior to this day we acted like we loved each other... Now this person will not even speak to me and has written a blog about going and getting offers to get laid on myspace... I know I can't change how this person feels, but I at least wish she would give me the time to get over how I feel before trying to do things to crush me even more... The attitude is going to make me hate this person and I don't want that... I cherished the friendship we had before we started dating and I really wish I could have that back... I need clouser not silence...

[kaitou]

This post is a year old already..

[Kevin589]

Lol I din't even see the last of the date... LOL Thanks

[miharbi_88]

Kilo 5ara

[lily401]

I'm 17, and I also broke up last night with my boyfriend, well we just had to part because his parents told him that he'll never marry me, because ethnic groups, religion...all that crap. I was devastated and fell asleep crying. This morning woke up to find my eyes puffier than cotton balls I decided to just relax. But I kept rethinking everything that happened last night. So.... I had an exam today, I got my music and my car, and just drove to school did the exam (surprisingly the whole break up helped me do better)...and when i finished I got into the car turned up the music and just drove.... and it was an amazing feeling like i got rid of the pain and the things in my head. That's my advice to you, drive!!!!!! I know it might sound silly, but I never cried that much in my life... and after a good 2 hour drive I felt soo refreshed...

This is such a relief to read. Your situation sounds EXACTLY like mine. Over the past few weeks I've been slowly distancing myself from my boyfriend of 2 years, because we know it's time to break up. I've woken up with my eyes red and swollen shut too many times to count. My pillows are soaked by the time I take a deep breath at night and fall asleep. If anything can make me feel better it is the freedom and possibilities I feel when I'm driving. I clean myself up after a night of crying, take a shower, get in the car and just drive. I put on a song that makes me feel better (happy, sad, whatever) and drive for hours. I light up a cigarette (but DON'T start to get over your ex. I already smoke) and drive and drive. If it's nice out, roll the windows down. Focus on everything you pass and everything you see. You'll feel better eventually, I promise.