[xHypoCondriacx]

About maybe 4 months ago I stopped smoking weed and I was doing really good.
Job hunting and everything. Started going to a commuinity college and keeping myself busy.

Then 4 months later *now* about maybe 4 weeks ago.. I started going to this guys house across the street and there all tweakers they do meth all day..

And occasionally I had trouble with this girl so I went over there and said

"lemme get a hit man" I need it!

I can't deal with this ****

And since then.. about every Friday I been hitting meth,

And I don't buy it.. or do it everyday..

I just notice I have been doing it a lot..

Every Friday is bad enough for me..

I'm so ashamed of myself and I feel so bad about letting my parents down..
My confidence was so high and it all just seems like it fell apart..

And I feel like a loser a nobody, and I know I'm destroying myself..

I don't want it now... I

Did it last night also.. and it was a thrusday..

But I know I'm devoloping an addiction

It gets me so mad cause I quit weed to only start slowly on another addiction a worster addiction..

I wanted to hear what anybody who has a heart has to say about this..

And maybe share any bad experiences you know of about this drug..

I'm a really nice person and I know I can change and stop this non sense which is why I'm here

And I don't want a rehab I believe I can do it out here..

It is just kind of hard when the guy lives across the dang street


Any help?

[Sentra]

Its great that you recognize how harmful this can become, and that's great to see and good of you in wishing to protect yourself further. You have many choices to make, and I hope you make the right ones.

[J_9]

Unfortunatey Meth is a drug that is addictive from the first time you smoke it.

While it is good that you understand that you are now addicted and you know you need to stop, it is hard to help over the internet.

Let me ask if you know what meth can do to your body permanently? Do you have a nice smile? If you continue on this path you will not, Meth rots your teeth out.

Do you have a nice complexion? If you continue on this path, you will not, Meth destroys your skin.

While I don't mean to sound harsh, I am just pointing out cold hard facts.

To stop this you must stop hanging with this bunch of people completely. 100% never again. You also need to seek treatment from places like NA (Narcotics Annonymous (sp))

AMHD is a great place to unload and get great support, this is an addiction that needs immediate attention that we cannot provide.

I am hoping Val will see this thread, as she has some wonderful insight on addictions.

Also, if you don't mind, your post was a little hard to read since it was all centered. While we all love creativity, sometimes us older folks have a hard time following things like that.

[valinors_sorrow]

They say in Recoveryland-- iffen you hang out in the barbershop long enough, you're going to be getting a haircut, like it or not. LOL

They also say cross addicting is like switching seats on the Titanic.

You are going to have to ask yourself-- which do you want more? Drugs (suffering and death) or recovery (life, sometimes hard, sometimes easy). It has absolutely NOTHING to do with what lives across the street, next door, in your house or in your bed. It has to do with what's in your head. If you want to lie* to yourself, that's your choice. No one in NA is going to be polevaulting over any of your bull to save you and that is a fact.

Welcome to reality. Any questions?

* just to keep this in perspective I saw no less than seven lies in your statements.

[Thomas1970]

I totally agree with Val, and all the previous posts. And certainly nobody is saying anything to sound at all mean in any way. We are all here to support you in any way we can over the net. But there is a saying in the Tao Te Ching -- which people are probably aware by now, that I am very fond of quoting -- that says, "Kindness is cruelty, cruelty is kindness." As Val very kindly pointed out, the reality may be harsh, but life doesn't always give you many chances to save your own life. There are numerous people who are out there and on here to support you, but first you have to decide that you really want to live -- to your fullest potential.
You are most certainly worth it, as is life.

[xHypoCondriacx]

I appereciate all your help and all your opinions.

But I believe I am a very strong person there are just times when I feel like I don't want to deal with it anymore and I tend to abuse myself to make the matter worste

And its later on that I sit back and regret what I done.

Im happy that I'm still at the point where I am now to where I'm able to think clearly and think a little positive.. and for the record I'm on meth as we speak.. I'm going to sleep soon last night was a night mare..

I need the recovering and I have nvr been a meth user I always hated it. And a meth addict told me...

"this is not something u want to do" u want to keep the good head on your shoulders that u got now? Then don't do it.. take it from me.. otherwise ull be like all of us here doing nothing everyday just destroying ourselves.

anyway..
u will all disagree with me when I say this but..

I have this deep big feeling that.. I will not do it again..
starting Monday ill be at school.. and I'm going to try look for a job again too..

I been working out a little bit.. drinking a lot of water trying to make myself healthy or at least better then the position my body is in now..

I quit weed to make a better me.. to improve my confidence to improve my athletic status.

I have a girlfriend who loves me. And if she knew what I was doing she would kill me

and I wish that sometimes but I suppose life is always much better then death.

I'm in the process of learning to realize that.. although this past month I have intoxicated myself with the devils poison

I stand here to say I WILL NOT DO THIS DRUG AGAIN.. I NEEDED UR CRUELNESS I NEEDED TO SEE THE DARKSIDE I NEEDED TO FEEL SAD.. SO IN THE END BEFORE ITS TO LATE I CAN FEEL THAT FEELING OF NATURAL HAPPINESS AGAIN.. THE FEELING OF JOY.. NO DRUG IN THE WORLD CAN BRING THAT.

I hope your all with me and take my word for it. I will continue to update this topic everyday I feel the need to get high off anything.. in hopes of hearing some of u snap me back to reality..

although I'm 19 and still kind of smart.. and in the process of educating myself..

I want a change so badly I would do anything for it.

I want to get out of this place this city. I hate it. But it will only make me stronger to deal with this.

so I suppose throw what you can at me god.. cause I deserve it.. especially if your going to help me get through this pre-addiction.

if I was trully 100% addicted I think I would be doing it everyday..

but I personally think since I'm such a paranoid person it kind of limits myself to no do that! Its to soon.. better yet I'm going to try don't do that "EVER"


ty all [= take care

[Thomas1970]

Hi Hypo,
We're certainly all here for you, and want the best for you. Just keep on trying, one day at a time -- one minute at a time if necessary. Focus on your studies and your relationship. You have someone special in your life that loves you, not everyone has that. You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you.
We'll be here. Take care. :)

[valinors_sorrow]

I hope your way works, Hypo. I mean that. Although I have not seen it work that way, who am I to say it can't--miracles do happen. If it doesn't work your way and you are still seriously interested in seeking recovery, I'll be right here. I know of a way that works -- you only need ask. Good luck.

[xHypoCondriacx]

Thank You all once again.. I slept and woke up and I feel normal again.. I ate.. and relaxed a little bit.. and well.. what more can I say then.. today is the day it begins.. and my faith is so high in this.. [=

I know I will do better and not mess with drugs gin.

ty all [= and take care.

[wanger]

You need to stop now while you can. I think it is great that you stopped smoking weed, but you have gone from bad to worse. Pot won't kill you, meth will. I have heard different people talk about that stuff and from what I have heard it not only messes with your body, but your mind as well. You might as well be doing heroin. Get off that S**T while you can.

[lukeduke]

Well yes it does sound like an addiction is starting and that is how it does by doing on the weekend and next thing you know its during the week also. Then its every other day, which turns into every day. What you need to do first is know that it is a problem which I think you did. Its up to you all you have to do is stop going around those losers, they are pieces of shi--t and they are everywhere, ask anyone. They are not your friends because they are most likely addicted and are in misery. You ever heard the sang "misery loves company".. that is it... stop going over there and if the call or what ever just ignore it... simple!!

[xHypoCondriacx]

well its been a week since last thursday i havent touched nor wanted to go by that house and do any drug what so ever. i told u guys i wouldnt do it again . and everytime i did do it i thought to myself why am i doing this.. people who do the drug dont think "why am i doing this" they think "i want more" i dont.. and today is friday im staying home and doing stuff on my pc. just thought i update u all and let u know.. i been clean and im also going to get my ged soon. and then move on to something. well thx 4 ur help..
[=:)

[J_9]

Wonderful news. We all love to hear the "good stuff" here.

Keep it up. I have been through a few tough addictions myself, though I choose not to disclose what I was addicted to. I, too, decided one day that I was done, and I have not been down that path since.

My current addiction is Pepsi, and that is not nearly as dangerous as the other addictions I suffered through. I can tell you that the Pepsi addiction is much harder to break than the "harder" stuff was for me.

Good luck and I hope you keep it up!!

[Thomas1970]

Hi Hypo. I'm glad to hear things are going well. Keep it up. You definitely have a good future ahead of you. :)

[lukeduke]

Very, Very nice hypo. It is always great to hear things like this when a user has made up there mind to put a stop to using. They either move up by seeking help by any means and or just go into hiding. I don't remember your age but a GED or diploma must be achieved simply because with out one a good job and maybe nowadays any job can't not be got. If I were you I would look into getting an actual diploma. I know around where I live there was a place called 5th District, and you go there to finish getting your required credits and the Diploma given was from a the High School in the immediate area, I don't remember which one it was. I promise your future career will be better and brighter cause it is a major factor between the two.

[xHypoCondriacx]

thanks all once again.. its been maybe 2 weeks almost 3.. I feel great and healthy. [= I love this site and thank you all for caring. Now my primary objective is to get a job ]=

later

[xHypoCondriacx]

Topic closed thank you all very much

[Gregdoris]

Seriously, I have been sober now for many, many years You are playing with fire.
Get the number for NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and call them. Someone will even pick you up and take you to your first meeting. You can not image the miracles that happen in NA. Please trust me on this.

[RAMguySF]

About maybe 4 months ago i stopped smoking weed and i was doing really good.
Job hunting and everything. Started going to a commuinity college and keeping myself busy.

Then 4 months later *now* bout maybe 4 weeks ago.. I started going to this guys house accross the street and there all tweakers they do meth all day..

And occasionally i had trouble with this girl so i went over there and said

"lemme get a hit man" i need it!

i can't deal with this ****

and since then.. bout every friday i been hitting meth,

and i dont buy it.. or do it everyday..

i just notice i have been doing it alot..

every friday is bad enough for me..

im so ashamed of myself and i feel so bad about letting my parents down..
my confidence was so high and it all just seems like it fell apart..

and i feel like a loser a nobody, and i know im destroying myself..

i dont want it now... i

did it last nite also.. and it was a thrusday..

but i know im devoloping an addiction

it gets me so mad cause i quit weed to only start slowly on another addiction a worster addiction..

i wanted to hear what anybody who has a heart has to say bout this..

and maybe share any bad experiences u know of bout this drug..

im a really nice person and i know i can change and stop this non sense which is why im here

and i dont want a rehab i belive i can do it out here..

it is just kind of hard when the guy lives accross the dang street


any help?

I think it is really great that you recognize that you have a potential disaster headed your way if you don't fight the desires and stay away from the people across the street. Take it from somebody who has been addicted to meth for about ten years now. I'm fortunate to have kept it together for the most part, but have seen so many of the friends in my life not be so lucky. It is more powerful than you can imagine. Soon Friday will turn into the whole weekend, then maybe Monday just to get through the day, and Tuesday cause you are too depressed to go without it, and before long it is a daily habit. It is horrible and the biggest regret I've had in my life because I really have a difficult time in life without it now. I hope that soon I can kick the worst habit ever, and I hope you really follow your heart and don't do it anymore. TRUST ME IT AIN'T WORTH ANYTHING YOU'LL END UP GOING Through! Good luck to you.

[xHypoCondriacx]

Thanks all, I'm back I was really busy for the last month or so, things are good, and ty for caring