[cozoDOP2]

I've always been a quiet shy guy. MOreover, I have speaking difficulties. A disability you might say. And also I don't like blabbing all the time and spilling out all my personal life. But they do.. all of them

Now I feel so bad and I know they think I'm stupid and strange.( they tell me.. "why yo dont.. talk?" etc )

How do I get my spirits up again after they've made me and keep making me feel bad?

I talk a little but I really dn't have an active brain to be always talking every second.
I'm more of a doer instead of a talker.

I'm in my mid 30's and the job is office assistant doing document checking etc.

[sandalwood7]

Hey! Don't let what others think, shape how you feel about about yourself. Do you even know what they think? What evidence do you have they they view you in a negative light anyway?

When girls get together in a group they can act a bit silly... They probably just want to find out more about you because they are curious and you are shy!

I think a lot of girls find shyness attractive. Shy possibly = mysterious. It may not even be a bad thing that they ask you these kind of questions. They may not even think that you are stupid and strange at all.

It is up to you. People can only make you feel bad if you let them.

Somebodyonce toldme a very helpful thing:
"people are not against you...they are only for themselves"

Remember this: most people are just trying to get on with their own lives and problems and they are probably not that interested in you at all so it doesn't pay to dwell on what they think or could possibly be thinking at all...

Get on with your own lifeand forget what others are thinking. It never helped any of us tio dwell on what others possibly think about us. Be confident in who you are, and don't let others take that away from you.

Penny for yor thoughts?

[rosemcs]

Question:

Are you allowed to have music on where you work? Can you have it at your desk so you can tune the ladies out?

[sandalwood7]

What is your speaking impediment?

[I wish]

Have you gotten professional help for your low self-esteem?

How bad is the abuse? Have you considered talking to your manager about it?

[Gemini54]

Why don't you just tell then what you told us here - I'm a quiet guy, I know I'm a bit strange.

Try not to take offense if they tease you - laugh gently and say, yes, it's always been a bit difficult for me to interact with others. I know you guys will understand.

However, if the teasing is malicious or nasty, then you must talk to your manager. We are all different and just because you're quiet shouldn't mean you're harassed in the workplace. Workplaces need to support diversity.

Please don't feel bad if people tease you - it's their stuff not yours.

[SelfImprovement]

I don't think it is out of normal to want to talk less.. many people are just like you. So you don't want to talk all the time.. no big deal. But the important thing is - don't let your colleagues or anyone else dictate how you feel about yourself. As someone said - "Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." Also, don't speak or think so negatively of yourself. You can find few more tips here:
Improving Self Esteem, Building Confidence and Self Esteem

[mastermagican]

Just tell them what's wrong they will understand I mean you could at least talk I know this African guy he can talk but people start being racist and making fun of him they all got tickets at school for harassing. As long they are trying to make you be part of them its all right but if they harass back stab or abuse you it's a problem it is wired for both of you they just want to know who they work with and don't fill fulled so you need to tell them. I felt wired when the guy doesn't talk but I let it go.

[Glove And Gavel]

Hi Cozo,
Life is what YOU make of it. They're being antagonistic -- but the other side of the coin is that you are letting them affect your mood. You can't control other people's actions, so it's best to work on:
a) how you present yourself (make sure you're well-groomed, dress well, don't talk about things that are socially inappropriate etc.)
b) the steps you will take in order to reduce the effect that negative people have on you.
As for the conversation part: I am also quiet. Girls have said they like that because I am a good listener, and they generally have more to say than I do. Sometimes I have a lot to say, and other times I keep to myself. There is no general rule. Generally girls talk more than guys -- but this isn't always true.
So don't let them get you down Cozo.