[cozoDOP2]

Maybe you guy's parents were happy that you grew up and matured and learned to live on your own. But mine ARE NOT THAT WAY! They want me to live with them always and they are controlling.. don't let me do anything, don't let me go out. Want to control my life , want me to do the job they want. Want me to live how they want me to. Etc

Hispanic immigrant family but I'm american and grew up in america. In their culture many people live with their parents forever . But I don't want to..
Why do I have to?

Anyway, how do I move out and live on my own without them getting mad, AND POSSIBLY even commit suicide?( father has bad temper and would explode)

Also I don't have a great job, how can I even afford to move out?

[sabrewolfe]

You are 30 years old, you don't need your parents permission to go. If they get upset, then they get upset. They are adults, let them handle that on their own. That's not your responsibility to worry if they do. That's part of living in the adult world.
If you can't afford it, get a better job, or a second job. Work as much as you can. Live by your means, and don't waste your money on needless things. Take care of your bills and responsibilities first. You will learn how to survive by doing it.
My respect to you for wanting to jump out of the nest and fly on your own. Good luck.

[artlady]

You could look for a roommate situation or rent a room in someone's home.
I am sure that eventually they will get over their anger if you move out.
You have a right to live your own life and because of the cultural difference they can't see that,that is really a shame because they are not thinking of you ,they are being selfish.

[Jake2008]

You need to make up your mind. Then you need a plan, and some research to see what you need to do.

Start looking in the local newspaper for rooms to rent, or for someone looking for a roomie, or a person looking for someone to take over a lease. Make some phone calls, find out what the associated costs are, including heat, hydro, phone etc. Is there a first and last months' required or security deposit etc.

When you find living arrangements that you can support with your income, be prepared. Have money in the bank for unexpected costs such as deposits on utilities (especially if you've never had these things in your name before). Many places ask for references, have a few lined up from your employer, and work mates.

You may want to upgrade or add to your education by taking some courses, or skills training. Your income may even be subsidized due to the level of it, and you could get subsidies for your rent, or supplimental income. You would likely qualify for health benefits. Check your local social services offices to see what is available to you, so that you can learn to live on your own, and plan for the future.

I know here that there are social services agencies that will help with first and last months deposits.

There are food banks, second hand stores, free legal help, resume assistance, etc. You may be surprised just how much is out there when you have a goal, and start to work toward it.

As to your parents, when you have all your ducks lined up, let them know that you will be leaving on such and such a date, so that they have time to prepare. Keep things simple, don't argue, don't fall for guilt trips. That is extreme that one may consider suicide. If this is a genuine concern, call the family doctor, or a help line, and let them know you will do that if you hear one more threat.

The rest is up to you.

[mudweiser]

Grow some cojones and get the hell out.

Your 30! Common' now...

Tell your mom and dad that you love them but you need to be a man of your own [assuming you're a man].

I'm sure at first they will hate it but eventually they will get used to it and will respect your decision [over time].

Common' now...

[Fr_Chuck]

Basically they don't "control" you, you allow them to control YOU.

So you find a weekly rental place, all furnished, take a bag out and move, they get over it,

Of just tell them you are moving in 3 months, and start making moving plans.

[CRJackson9109]

Honestly your 30 years old and live at home with mommy and daddy? That's sad dude. I moved out on my own at 17 and my wife moved out when she was 15! We did this because we had violent controlling parent! So we each did what we had to do to make it! Now she is 21 and I'm 22 we are both in college and working fulltime jobs! Basically what I'm telling you is where there is a will there is a way. So you have to first decide that you really want to move out then the rest will all come from how bad you really want it

[Gemini54]

I have a Greek friend and her mother threatened to commit suicide numerous times when she tried to move out, and she was 28, so I can understand where you're coming from.

You've already taken the first step in moving out by asking the question. Now you just need to plan how to do it. The posters have given you some great advice about how you might do it.

I can assure you that there will be drama and tears when you tell them, but the thing is - it's your life not theirs and it's time to live it. It's YOUR choice.

I can also tell you that they WILL get used to it - I mean they have to don't they? And I can also assure you that they are unlikely to commit suicide. My friend's mother didn't.

Beware though, my friends mother did appear at her front door frequently with plates of food and would insist on doing her washing until persuaded otherwise!