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john_rock · Jan 3, 2010, 10:28 PM

My exgirlfriend broke up with me and since then I have been in complete no contact. Recently I called her a couple of times and I kept the conversation short. When we were talking she was really nice just like when we were dating. Would an ex be that nice if she was not interested?

Hundalei · Jan 3, 2010, 11:19 PM

You never know until you ask. I would suggest a letter or an email telling her that you still have feelings for her, and ask if she feels the same way. If she does she can respond, if she doesn't you likely won't hear from her again & you can know it's time to focus your efforts elsewhere.

J. Sparks · Jan 3, 2010, 11:29 PM

Yes. They can be that nice even if not interested. To keep the peace or test the waters. Like Hundalei said "you will never know until you ask" - I'd go NC again for a while and lay low.

amicon · Jan 4, 2010, 01:50 AM

Why did you break your NC?

Romefalls19 · Jan 4, 2010, 09:24 AM

What was the reason to call her?

john_rock · Jan 4, 2010, 09:48 AM

When we dated before I wasn't really a good boyfriend. I learned what my mistakes were and I want to give it another try.

Romefalls19 · Jan 4, 2010, 09:49 AM

Then you are reading way too much into her being nice. I'd rather be nice to someone and get them off the phone quicker, than get them angry and deal with them complaining and screaming at me

I wish · Jan 4, 2010, 11:04 AM

If you want her back, then let her know and see how she feels.

Otherwise, you're just going to over-analyze your conversations which builds false hope.

Justwantfair · Jan 4, 2010, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by john_rock

My exgirlfriend broke up with me and since then I have been in complete no contact. Recently I called her a couple of times and I kept the conversation short. When we were talking she was really nice just like when we were dating. Would an ex be that nice if she was not interested?

I think you missed the idea of complete no contact by about 500 miles.

Now you have stepped backwards in your progress and are looking to read into her thoughts. Go back to no contact and read the stickies at the top of there forum, so that you understand what complete non-contact would be.

Triysle · Jan 4, 2010, 12:20 PM

Until you can interact with your ex without any hopes of getting back together, you should remain No Contact. For some people, this only takes a few months; for others it can take years. There are some cases where you can never get back in touch.

Only you know how you feel. You won't get anywhere if you keep letting yourself get roped in over and over. And in this case, she didn't even rope you in! You just put yourself into that situation all on your own! :P

Go back to NC. If she initiates a conversation, be polite or ignore it entirely. Course you won't be listening to us ;) You'll have to find out on your own, just like we all did, hehe.

~ Tee

talaniman · Jan 4, 2010, 01:39 PM

She may be friendly but never take you back. Glad you see the error of your ways, and want to change, doubt she believes it, that's on you. Depends on how bad a boyfriend you were, and her reasons for dumping you.

I can only advise you get to the point, and see what she says. There really is not enough details of the break up, for me to hazard a guess about your chances.

I can tell you though, that its better to know for sure where you stand sooner, rather than later.