[amicon]

You will get over him,it just takes time and an active lifestyle where you do your outmost to stay busy,be around people who care for you and generally do your best to be good to yourself.
Take care.

[broken_ heart]

Thanks, it feels good when I talk. I keep on reading the advices given here.

[amicon]

Good thinking! And you'll learn from other people's experiences. :-)

[Jake2008]

Something you might do to help a bit, is write things out in a diary.

When you are having weak moments, and those strong feelings start to take over, start writing it all out on paper, instead of keeping it inside. This could strike you at any time, and before the feelings lead you down that familiar path of self doubt and what ifs, remind yourself why you are not going to let that happen, and why you are going to keep things honest with yourself.

You could be having a weak moment at work, or you could see something that reminds you of him, or hear something about him. All those things will affect your goal of getting past him, so write them out, as a way of dealing with them. You'll feel better, and you'll read it back and have a second chance to deal with the feeling, and it will boost your resolve.

Each time you deal with the 'moments', and not stuff them away, or think about them in that emotional cloud, you will be stronger. Over time you will see that you have gone beyond reacting to a picture of him on Facebook, for example, with emotion. You will see the man for who he is.

I personally find these notebook writings very helpful, because they are my own thoughts and feelings, and they are what they are, not subject to anybody's interpretation but my own. Each time I write about a loss of any kind, writing it out helps so much to put all that 'stuff' somewhere. Then close the notebook, and get going with the rest of the day.

I hope if you decide to try this, that you get some benefit from writing things out. I have come to rely on my notebooks over the years, for many losses including deaths, relationships, illness, etc. and I have never not felt stronger, after I write.

[sully123]

Cut off all contact with him. He is playing you. He is toying with your emotions, and trying to get physical with you. He is engaged to be married. He is a liar and a cheater, and why go back for more. He spared you the heartache, but now he wants the best of both worlds. Please spare yourself anymore agony and heartache, he isn't worth the time of day. He did you a big favor, that you found out now.

[broken_ heart]

Last night, I had broke your no contact advice which I was following. I know it's a big mistake on my part. I was missing him badly and was crying when I dialled his no. but when I striked the advice I just cut the phone. But he called back immediately. I answered his call. We talked for more than two hours.I had nothing to talk about. He took the initiative and said sorry to me for all his behaviour. He cried over phone and insisted me to take him back as friend at least. I don't know why and how I agreed to him and it was decided between us that we will continue to be friends. I don't see him as a friend and I know if I say him or treat him just as a friend is going to be a cheating on my part, cheating to him and cheating to myself. I love him so much, I can't even hear him talking of some other woman. He is going to tie the knot in months. I am sorry I couldn't follow your advice. If I say him no now, don't know how he is going to feel. I am feeling so helpless. I want to marry him but after accepting his friendship I can't say this to him. I couldn't follow your advice. I am not a good person, I am not.

[amicon]

Don't beat yourself up for being human. You do,however,have to move on-he's marrying someone else-those are the cold hard facts here.
Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you sort this out?

[LJDK]

Do the right things and tell his fiancé he is sleeping around. It's the right thing to do. Keeping silent and allowing her to go through life with someone who sleeps around is not fair.

This will then also enforce no contact cause the dude will most likely not appreciate it. So it's a win win. You get over him, he leave you alone and his poor fiancé won't get divorced in a few years

[broken_ heart]

No, I am not considering anyone to sort it out. In fact I don't have any friend with whom I can share all this. Its only here I vent out all I feel.

I don't think telling his fiancé about all this will work. And I don't know his fiancé personally. Have heard from him only.

Ami, I know the fact that he is engaged. And I have no intention of getting into those things again especially when I know he has decided for his life. It just happened he cried and I was also weak emotionally.

[amicon]

Sometimes we get emotional. And then it passes.
I agree with you,no point telling the fiancée.
Presumably she'll find out sooner or later what he is capable of.

Have you nobody you can talk to? Best girlfriend?
Your mum?

[Jake2008]

Amicon has give you some good advice. See a therapist; it will help you stay strong, and work your way through this.

I agree too with talking this out with your mom, or a girlfriend. Invest some time in sharing your thoughts, so you can get the support you need.

[broken_ heart]

No, when he came in my life I lost contact with all my friends slowly . He was the only friend of mine with whom I shared my all problems, my all happiness, my love. I didn't get time for anybody else, was in madly love with him. We used to meet once in a month or two because of our busy schedules but still we used to knew about every minute spent. We were very close to each other. I never felt any need of knowing new people.

I can't share it with my mom. If I do things will get worse for me and for him. Whatever he has done, has done but I don't want to trouble him or hurt him.

[amicon]

That's sad. Can't you at least try to get in touch with your friends and see if your friendships can be rebuilt?

[Lknight2010]

As long as your around he is ganna be around... stringing you along. Girl if a guy can have two girls and get way with it.. he is ganna do it. Either get him out of your life or fight your best to win him back and then either have a great relationship or get played and have your heart broken and then your learn from your mistake to never be around that kind of person again. I did have a relationship with someone like that and i learned from my mistakes... best of luck

[broken_ heart]

Ami, its been a long time I lost touch with all. I don't know whether its going to work or not.

Lknight, I do want to fight to win him back. But I really don't know how. How can I change his mind, his feelings in my favour. If he has decided this, he must have thought something. I didn't even ask the reason, why he did it to me. His fiancée works near to his workplace and they meet twice or thrice on daily basis. And me, when he broke up, I was so much hurt that I was not able to concentrate on my job and lost it. I haven't seen him from months. It feels like a dream to get back together with him.

[amicon]

On a practical note,have you got yourself another job?

Also,have you thought about seeing a therapist so that you can have a face to face talk with someone about this?

[bswc]

You're living in your confused fantasy, mixed up with his sweet cheating in disguise.

TRY to rebuild some friendship, there is always someone out there to be your friend, just takes the right time to kick in. Trust it, naturally and DO your part!

[broken_ heart]

Not yet, but yes I am looking for it now and will get it soon. And I think I should go for no contact from my side at least.

[bswc]

Yes, right. Go for no contact because you're practically blinded..

[broken_ heart]

He will never change.