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    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 28, 2009, 02:32 PM
    Is he Interested or not?
    Okay so I've had my eye on this guy that I kind of had seen from mutual friends but hadn't met. I was invited to a birthday party that I was pretty certain he would be at. I casually introduced myself at one point and he was friendly back. Since it was our first encounter we didn't talk much but I smiled , etc. throughout the night. Then this past weekend(Saturday) I went to the same mutual friends Holiday Party and he was there. He saw me and remembered me and started talking more with me. Later he asked me if I wanted to go somewhere we're we could talk better where it wasn't so loud (music). Of course I said yes. We went outside and talked for about 10 minutes. Exchanged number. He said he would call the next day(yesterday,Sunday) at around 2pm. 2pm had passed I thought to myself…another typical guy he’s not going to call. But he did around 5:30.We talked for a good hour. He asked me a lot about myself. He said he had to go but asked if he could call me back later that night around 10.I said yes. He never called back? He did however earlier in the conversation ask me to send him a picture to keep on his phone and I did. He sent me one back past the time he said he would call but never text or called. Is he interested? Or did I possibly say something to scare him off. I honestly don’t think I did though. Is he just playing it cool or slow? Or maybe “just not that into me” How long should I give him?
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #2

    Dec 28, 2009, 02:54 PM

    Don't read into it Violet, guys are like that. He will call in time, that's just the way they are. Sounds like he is interested, don't rule him out. They don't react the way females do, we tend to analyze everything.. good luck.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #3

    Dec 28, 2009, 04:26 PM
    I think he's definitely interested. He may have decided not to call since you were already communicating via text at the time he was supposed to make the call. Relax - he'll call you later. :D
    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 29, 2009, 09:14 AM

    Well He didn't call yesterday!And my girlfriend said if he was interested he would have called yesterday.Honestly,it's not like I'm waiting by the phone or anything... but how long should I give him before I just let it go? Should I even make an effort to try to give him a call one last time? If so how long should I wait.I don't want to seem eager.I was thinking a week?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 29, 2009, 09:37 AM

    Don't try to force things at this point, you just don't know enough about him, or his life, so carry on with yours.

    You don't wait, you just do your thing, and see what happens. If nothing happens, you are doing your thing any way, so don't worry.

    I think your right to let it go for now.
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #6

    Dec 29, 2009, 10:00 AM

    Your not giving him any time! Don't pressure him or he will go the other way. He will call in his time, it's the holidays and people have a lot going on. Let things settle down...
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #7

    Dec 29, 2009, 10:19 AM

    Don't make this into a big deal,stay busy and don't worry about it. If he doesn't call,its not the end of the world.
    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 29, 2009, 03:40 PM

    Yeah... well my instincts could be wrong but I don't think its going to happen!Kind of sucks because I was really digging him and that doesn't happen often because I'm too picky for my own good.If he does call though I'll let you guys know:)
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #9

    Dec 29, 2009, 03:52 PM

    I know you're anxious to hear from him, but guys operate using a different clock than us girls do. Be patient - I still think that he'll call you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Dec 29, 2009, 03:54 PM

    What do you really know about him?
    LivingtheLifeinFLA's Avatar
    LivingtheLifeinFLA Posts: 137, Reputation: 29
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    #11

    Dec 29, 2009, 08:13 PM

    He's into you. Just playing the chase me game. Give it time and don't chase back, he will come to you if interested.
    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Dec 30, 2009, 09:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    What do you really know about him?
    Well... I don't know a WHOLE lot about him. He could be a good or a player. He asked more about me the first time we interacted.He works at the law firm for a lawyer that I sort of grew up with... I was told by him that he was a straight up guy(of course I want to make sure for myself as well)
    I know they had a big case that they had to go out of town for earlier this week,which is not an excuse but It appears he's a busy person.I am as well though... I just have a problem with people in general who say they will call at a certain time or day then don't.But,especially more so when a man that your interested in does that.They do it so often... I don't get it.
    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jan 1, 2010, 09:55 AM

    So I thought I would at least receive a text message from him saying Happy New Year yesterday... but nothing. He's on Facebook a lot and we're friends on there. Should I try one last time and send him a quick message on there just saying happy new year and I enjoyed our talk the other day. Our will that appear desperate or eager? It's been almost a week.
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #14

    Jan 1, 2010, 10:17 AM

    I would wait for him to contact you if he is interested. You don't want to come across desperate. Guys like a challenge. Sometimes it takes a few weeks before they call. When you least expect it, he will call you. Don't read into it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Jan 1, 2010, 11:08 AM
    No way do you chase him, as its already apparent he may just be to busy to show he cares, or keep his word.

    I don't believe in making some one a priority in my life, when I am only an option in theirs
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #16

    Jan 1, 2010, 12:03 PM

    No don't just leave it-overthinking this is a waste of time.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #17

    Jan 1, 2010, 12:08 PM

    Don't contact him. Wait a little longer! It really hasn't been a very long time at all. Be patient.
    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jan 1, 2010, 12:39 PM
    I was so close to messaging him but I waited to hear from you all and... Okay, I'll take the advice and wait to contact. I guess I just want to make sure he does know I'm interested and I just wasn't being only nice.I have been told I tend to put off a stand offish vibe sometimes unknowingly. It's tough because all the advice I read online is about people that went on at least one or two dates already(for the calling rule).But we haven't. I'll give it this week when things go back to normal for the holidays.I know he spent it out of town.
    Violet77's Avatar
    Violet77 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jan 22, 2010, 03:58 PM

    Update: He ended up contacting me about a week later. We've been on two really fun dates! And have been talking here and there.He's really funny and we get along very well. BUT! He sort of ended up giving me a long drawn out version of the "lets just be friends speech" He kind of asked me "what I was looking for"... (loaded question) and I said I'm not "looking", If anything I would like things to happen naturally with whoever, and he got excited and said that was a perfect answer. But then he mentioned how he wasn't ready to emotionaly invest with anyone right now due to him being out of town a lot but enjoys my company and wants to continue to hangout. He even asked me to go to this thing with him on Saturday but warned me it's where a lot of couples would be and wanted to make sure I felt comfortable about that. I think I see what his deal is but not really. Also, he keeps asking me a lot about my past relationship and I don't really answer but he says he's been asking through mutual acquatiances of ours about me since I won't tell him much right now. He also found out that one of his best friends liked me. I almost feel like he's keeping things platonic due to this friend but that guy has a girlfriend now anyway from what I hear. I'm trying to decide if he could be a friend. We haven't kissed or anything yet which is good. But I do like him and it's hard to be friends with someone you like but it's still new enough where we could be. Any input here would be great!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #20

    Jan 23, 2010, 12:51 AM

    Just enjoy getting to know the guy.stop analyzing the situation and go with the flow.
    If it turns into something more,great but if it doesn't,it's not the end of the world.

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