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MJ6216 · Nov 13, 2006, 09:34 AM

So i started talking to this guy, and he was totally perfect for me... we listened to the same music, went to the same concerts, and all that good stuff. Well i found out on myspace.com that he is married, and i know it was him because his wife's page had their wedding pictures on there. So i confornted him about it and he told me that he hates his marriage and he doesn't want to be with his wife anymore. Mind you they practically just got married in april. So i told him that nothing could ever progress between us past a friend ship. And now he won't even talk to me, but every time we are at a concert he looks at me and smiles at me... i don't know whether i should go and talk to him or what should i do?

Thanks

Mj:confused:

ScottGem · Nov 13, 2006, 09:35 AM

Stay away from this guy. He's bad news.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 13, 2006, 09:39 AM

Sorry to be cruel but I have to be honest about my true opinion. It sounds like he just wanted to use you as a bit on the side.

I don't mean that in a nasty way, you are worth more than that but it just seems like this. I think you should stay well clear of him. The fact that he was no t honest with you about his marriage must ring alarm bells.

Take care and know that you are worth more than this.

Oh.. and him smiling at you at a concert is just his way of playing with you..

I may be wrong but I'm sure you will get more good advice here..

Wildcat21 · Nov 13, 2006, 09:41 AM

Of course he didn't.

Stop all contact with this LIAR, cheater.

"HE TOLD ME THAT HE HATES HIS MARRIAGE AND HE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH HIS WIFE ANYMORE" - HA!! Of course he did. He wants to sleep with you - nothing more. They ALL say that - CLASSIC!!

Move on - find a single guy that's avaialbe that won't lie to you.

Married guy with a Myspace - what a creepy jerk - isn't MySpace for 14 year olds? YES! Big red flag there.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 13, 2006, 10:01 AM

Hang on a minute, you call him your ex in your question.

Ex what, friend, boyfriend. From the info you gave in your post, it does not sound like an ex boyfriend.

More info please..

MJ6216 · Nov 13, 2006, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Hang on a minute, you call him your ex in your question.

Ex what, friend, boyfriend. From the info you gave in your post, it does not sound like an ex boyfriend.

More info please..

He was an ex boyfriend. But we were only together for about 2 months till i found out about the wife.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 13, 2006, 10:13 AM

Stay Far, Far, Far Away from him!!

kp2171 · Nov 13, 2006, 10:14 AM

Ex to me means you were dating/intimate/etc... you'll need to straighten out what you mean exactly.

Assumung you were closer than just two people who see each other now and then at a club/bar/concert/whatever... sure... go talk to him.

As in go up to him and throw your drink in his face.

Basically if you have any kind of relationship with him you are asking for whatever you get in return. No excuses and no room to say "why me?"...

As long as he is married he should be wearing his ring.

MJ6216 · Nov 13, 2006, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Stay Far, Far, Far Away from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it is really hard because we go to all the same concerts... ya know i mean i can only avoid him so much because the concert space is only so big... and i mean when i do see him i don't talk to him...

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 13, 2006, 10:17 AM

Well.. O.K.

Just don't talk to him, think about him or anything HIM!

He is a problem waiting to happen!

MJ6216 · Nov 13, 2006, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by kp2171

ex to me means you were dating/intimate/etc... youll need to straighten out what you mean exactly.

assumung you were closer than just two people who see each other now and then at a club/bar/concert/whatever... sure...go talk to him.

as in go up to him and throw your drink in his face.

basically if you have any kind of relationship with him you are asking for whatever you get in return. no excuses and no room to say "why me?"...

as long as he is married he should be wearing his ring.

When i met him and every time we were out he never wore a ring... we weren't intimate because i wouldn't allow it right away... i mean yeah we kissed and went out and spent a lot of time at his bands practice spot. But i never went to his house and we always met somewhere. And imnot going to waste an expensive drink on his @$$!! And we now have no more relationship

kp2171 · Nov 13, 2006, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by MJ6216

IM NOT GOING TO WASTE AN EXPENSIVE DRINK ON HIS @$$!!! AND WE NOW HAVE NO MORE RELATIONSHIP

two very smart things to say.

sucks, but at least you know reality. Worst case is he's playing whomever will fall for it. Best case is he really is in a lousy marriage and doesn't have the guts to be straightforward. So he's either a manipulative jerk or a guy w/out a backbone... OK... forget about throwing your drink on him. You could always pick up his and throw his drink on him. =)

MJ6216 · Nov 13, 2006, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by kp2171

two very smart things to say.

sucks, but at least you know reality. worst case is hes playing whomever will fall for it. best case is he really is in a lousy marriage and doesnt have the guts to be straightforward. so hes either a manipulative jerk or a guy w/out a backbone... ok... forget about throwing your drink on him. you could always pick up his and throw his drink on him. =)

Yeah id rather waste his money and throw it on him just like i wasted my time with him!! Haha

valinors_sorrow · Nov 13, 2006, 03:17 PM

If you are at a loss what to do, nod. I have a few people on what I call my "nod list" -- folks I am so done with that all they ever get from me is a nod to acknowledge their presence which gets me off the hook from giving any further attention. Anything past the nod is simply not possible and trust me, it only takes once to explain that to any new arrival to the list. It is what civilized people do -- LOL, I have it on the best authority. :p

MJ6216 · Nov 13, 2006, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

If you are at a loss what to do, nod. I have a few people on what I call my "nod list" -- folks I am so done with that all they ever get from me is a nod to acknowledge their presence which gets me off the hook from giving any further attention. Anything past the nod is simply not possible and trust me, it only takes once to explain that to any new arrival to the list. It is what civilized people do -- LOL, I have it on the best authority. :p

UMMM... OK? :confused:

Skell · Nov 13, 2006, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by MJ6216

UMMM....OK? :confused:

What val is trying to say (I think) is don't bother with him.
Don't give him the time of day.
Why bother with him?

Just a nod and keep moving. Not so hard.

s_cianci · Nov 13, 2006, 05:36 PM

Yep - run away in the other direction as fast as you can. This has bad news written all over it.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 13, 2006, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by MJ6216

UMMM....OK? :confused:

Or keep stirring the pot by participating so you have lots to complain about... if that's the sort of thing that makes you feel alive. It certainly doesn't me and it comes with a really high price but hey...

Its YOUR choice totally. :D

talaniman · Nov 13, 2006, 08:14 PM

You are so lucky you caught on to this liars game before he used you and stripped you of your dignity. Read this other thread:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...elp-42365.html and see the misery you have avoided as well as the criticism

giggles · Nov 13, 2006, 08:51 PM

Hey val,
Tried to rate you but have to spread the love! Nod list, that's brilliant! I'm definitely going to follow up on that one! It's great food for thought. All that energy wasted with idiots, when I could have put them on a "nod list"!!