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2313stephen · Dec 15, 2009, 05:14 AM

Every year I buy christmas gifts for my 2 nephews (my husbands brothers kids) We very rarely see them as that side of the family are not close. We have never met the youngest nephew! We pass the gifts onto my mother in law who then passes them onto my husbands brother for the children. We receive nothing for our children and never even get a thank you phone call for the gifts given. I know we shouldn't give to receive but I feel its getting rather silly, buying gifts for children we never see. I have bought gifts again this year but wanted some advice for the future. Do you think it would be acceptable to stop giving christmas gifts to them after this year?

Aurora_Bell · Dec 16, 2009, 11:33 AM

Yes.

XOXOlove · Dec 16, 2009, 11:39 AM

I think it would be acceptable especially if they can't even say thanks. I'm sure they still appreciate it, but they probably wouldn't care that you didn't get them gifts if they aren't going to give you a gift anyway.

Alty · Dec 16, 2009, 11:43 AM

I wouldn't send the gifts you bought this year. Yes it's about giving, but the least they could do is call and say thank you.

If they won't put in the effort to do that then I wouldn't put in the effort to send any more gifts.

Jake2008 · Dec 17, 2009, 02:29 AM

I agree with the others. The gifts are meaningless and the parents should be ashamed that they do not have them ring you up to thank you, or take the time with the kids to sit them down and write a thank you. You are contributing to the entitlement syndrome when they think they just receive and receive and never give anything back in return.

Next year I would be inclined to send a Christmas card to each one, and tell them that you wish them a Merry Christmas. That would be all I would be willing to do.

Gemini54 · Dec 19, 2009, 05:18 PM

Yep. Agree with all the others - stop the gifts - what's the point? (the card is a great idea).

You put time and effort into something that is not reciprocated.

Yes, we shouldn't give to receive, but in the end it'd about reciprocity. If you get no acknowledgment at all then it's time to stop.

Sad thing is, they probably won't even notice!

JaneDoughnut · Dec 1, 2011, 06:51 PM

I have similar predicament with my adult daughter and my grandson, nearly 18 -- in that I receive no thank you's for gifts sent for their birthdays and holidays. It's impossible not to think of them on their birthdays and certain holidays but opting to being a complete doormat, I have finally quit giving them gifts and have whittled it down to cards and a box of home baked cookies for the winter holidays. If I don't get a thank you for the cookies this year I will just send store bought cookies the next year. If I don't get a thank you then, I will quit sending them goodies.

Oh, well - their loss.