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    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #1

    Dec 10, 2009, 01:09 PM
    It's never too late.for contraception.
    GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

    To those of us who have children in our lives,
    Whether they are our own, grandchildren,
    Nieces, nephews,or students...
    Here is something to make you chuckle... I think. ;)

    Whenever your children are out of control,
    You can take comfort from the thought that
    Even God's omnipotence did not extend
    To His own children.

    After creating heaven and earth,
    God created Adam and Eve.

    And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

    "Don't what?" Adam replied.

    "Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
    God said.

    "Forbidden fruit?"

    "We have forbidden fruit?"

    "Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

    "No Way !"

    "Yes way!"

    "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

    'Why ? '

    "Because I am your Father and I said so!"
    God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped
    Creation after making the elephants

    A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break
    And He was ticked!

    "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

    "Uh huh," :o Adam replied.

    "Then why did you?" said the Father.

    "I don't know," said Eve.

    "She started it!! Adam said.

    "Did not"... "Did too".... "DID NOT"

    Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

    If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

    If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be
    A piece of cake for you?

    THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

    1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

    2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children..

    3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young..

    4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said...

    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

    6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

    ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

    Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

    AND FINALLY:

    IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
    DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

    'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
    AND WARNING !!!! 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #2

    Dec 10, 2009, 01:39 PM
    I'm loving every bit of it! :D
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
    		  
    #3

    Dec 10, 2009, 03:30 PM

    I love it Stringy. So true. Sad.. but so true! :)
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #4

    Dec 10, 2009, 03:54 PM

    Thanks for the laugh, Stringer. :)

    Now, please, pass the asprin.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #5

    Dec 10, 2009, 04:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    Thanks for the laugh, Stringer. :)

    Now, please, pass the asprin.
    Ha, I know that you don't mean children's Aspirin right?:rolleyes:
    mygirlsdad77's Avatar
    mygirlsdad77 Posts: 5,713, Reputation: 339
    Plumbing Expert
    		  
    #6

    Dec 10, 2009, 04:07 PM

    These are great.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #7

    Dec 10, 2009, 04:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Ha, I know that you don't mean children's Aspirin right?:rolleyes:
    Some may not remember, but the first 300 Exedrin headaches were caused by kids.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #8

    Dec 10, 2009, 04:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Some may not remember, but the first 300 Exedrin headaches were caused by kids.
    I didn't cause my parents any problems... many anyway.:o
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #9

    Dec 10, 2009, 04:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    I didn't cause my parents any problems.....many anyways.:o
    You've been in sales too long, bud. That lie came way too easy.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #10

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    You've been in sales too long, bud. That lie came way too easy.
    H ah, I don't lie, I just tell little fibs... :rolleyes::D
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #11

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    H ah, I don't lie, I just tell little fibs....:rolleyes::D
    Just remember: Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids!
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #12

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Just remember: Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids!
    Ha ha... yeppers.

    "When I grew up, I found how smart my father was."
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #13

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Ha ha..........yeppers.

    "When I grew up, I found how smart my father was."
    Can we do the entire thread with old saws about kids?
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #14

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Can we do the entire thread with old saws about kids?
    Yep, but geeze let me get this one going first... K? :)
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #15

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Yep, but geeze let me get this one going first ....K? :)
    ;):cool:
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #16

    Dec 10, 2009, 05:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by catsmine View Post
    ;):cool:
    :) k...
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #17

    Dec 12, 2009, 06:52 AM

    That was great Stringer, I'm forwarding that straight to my mom!
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #18

    Dec 12, 2009, 07:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    That was great Stringer, I'm forwarding that straight to my mom!
    Mother's especially will understand and appreciate this... don't you wonder how they survived all this? AND they still love us.
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