[5tumble_n_fall]

I am a twenty year old woman desperatly trying for a child. I know I am young but I have a stable home, stable job, with a loving partner and more than enough money so please do not advise me of being too young. The problem is that I have been trying for around four months and nothing, I am slightly overweight but not a lot, I eat semi-healthily, but have changed my routines, every time I see a baby, I literally cry. I find myself feeling extremely jelous, is this normal?

[J_9]

It is rather normal.

However, you have only been trying for 4 months. It takes the AVERAGE person 6 months to a year of trying before they conceive.

The stress you are describing can also alter your hormones and cause conception to be rather hard. Stress is a major factor in conception.

When was your last GYN appointment? Has your doctor given you a clean bill of health?

[5tumble_n_fall]

I have never had an appointment, maybe the best thing to do would be to visit my doctor?

[J_9]

Okay, first things first. I am going to quote you here.

please do not advise me of being too young

If you were not so young, and yes, 20 is young (in numbers at least), then you would know that you need to see a gynecologist once a year once you begin having sex to make sure that your reproductive organs are healthy. You need a yearly PAP smear to make sure you are okay.

I had my first child at 22, we were married, and we were stable. About 6 months into it I had no idea how hard a baby was.

Stable home, job, and loving partner really have very little to do with whether you are ready for a child.

If you are already crying when you see babies, maybe you should wait a while. Goodness knows that the hormones in pregnancy and post-partum are going to make things worse than they are now.

But, yes, get all your ducks in a row. Make an appointment to get your female physical done before you even begin trying. Then talk to the doctor, be open, honest, and ASK QUESTIONS. Do not leave the doctors unless all of your questions are answered. That is what you pay him for.

[nikki_vy]

I am a twenty year old woman desperatly trying for a child. I know I am young but I have a stable home, stable job, with a loving partner and more than enough money so please do not advise me of being too young. The problem is that I have been trying for around four months and nothing, I am slightly overweight but not alot, I eat semi-healthily, but have changed my routines, everytime i see a baby, i literally cry. I find myself feeling extremely jelous, is this normal?

Four months may seem long to you since you desperately want to have a child. My last baby, it took me 18 months before I learned that I was pregnant. My advice to you is to visit the website babycenter.com... It will help you with you ovaluation cycle and when is the best time to try. However, did you have a full physical with a normal pap and your pcp gave you the okay to start trying...

Good Luck
Nikki

[J_9]

Nikki, she has never been to the doc regarding this. I suggested she visit a GYN to make sure that she was reproductively healthy before even beginning to try to get pregnant.

[DJ 'H']

Okay, first things first. I am going to quote you here.


If you were not so young, and yes, 20 is young (in numbers at least), then you would know that you need to see a gynecologist once a year once you begin having sex to make sure that your reproductive organs are healthy. You need a yearly PAP smear to make sure you are okay.

I had my first child at 22, we were married, and we were stable. About 6 months into it I had no idea how hard a baby was.

Stable home, job, and loving partner really have very little to do with whether or not you are ready for a child.

If you are already crying when you see babies, maybe you should wait a while. Goodness knows that the hormones in pregnancy and post-partum are going to make things worse than they are now.

But, yes, get all your ducks in a row. Make an appointment to get your female physical done before you even begin trying. Then talk to the doctor, be open, honest, and ASK QUESTIONS. Do not leave the doctors unless all of your questions are answered. That is what you pay him for.

Just because you are 20yrs and would like a baby does not mean you are ready. I am 22yrs about to give birth to a daughter in 6weeks time, my situation at the time was far from ideal - but I know in mind, body & soul that I am ready to be a mum and content with what I have done & achieved with my life. When I was 20yrs, there is no way I would have been able to contend with a baby - yes I was healthy, yes I had enough money and yes I was happy - but there is no way I was ready then to put my life on hold to become a Mum - sounds selfish but a couple of years makes an awful difference to your outlook on life and the way you look at things.

I chose to become a Mum for all the right reasons. Being happoy, having health & plenty of money were not the factors thast made my decision - you really need to think things over a bit better and look deep within yourself and ask 'Am I really ready to be a Mum' - 'Am I content with everything I have done in my life' - will there be anything I regret or resent?' - I have a couple of friends who had kids and 19 & 20 who regret becoming a mum so young that they plam their kids off anyone they can so they can go out and do what they want. That could be you if you have not really thought this through?

I am not trying to patronise you - just pointing out that sometimes we think we know it all when perhaps we don't!

[5tumble_n_fall]

Can I just point out that I asked not to be advised, I KNOW that I am ready, that is not the point I am trying to make here, I am trying to gain fertility advise

[J_9]

Then go to the doctor. As I said you need to have all your ducks in a row before becoming pregnant. And, since you have never even done that we doubt that you are ready.

Just so you know... the doc will do your physical, but may not advise you about fertility since you are not yet married and this is a moral issue.

[DJ 'H']

Please Please do not think I am patronising you - I am just trying to point out like J_9 that having a baby is huge step and life changing.

... Have you worked out the days of the month you ovulate?

[5tumble_n_fall]

I have never been because I am only 20 and have had no health problems, I have been planning this for a long time, and had I of known HOW TO GET PREGNANT I wouldn't be here for advise!! Yes I need to see my doctor, but just mentioning it would have been enough, I really don't need the lectures

[DJ 'H']

. Have you worked out the days you ovulate??

[J_9]

Most women go to the doctor beginning at age 16, or when they become sexually active, whichever comes first.

Some health problems do not have symptoms. Especially women's reproductive systems.

We are not really trying to lecture you, we are trying to shed light on how really hard it is to be a mother.

Look, let's say you have been sexually active since 18, but have had multiple partners (I am not saying you have, okay) these women are at risk for many STDs that do not have any symptoms until 20 or 30 years later. Then it is too late because the disease is in the brain.

This is just one reason why it is important to go to the doctor once a year.

[DJ 'H']

An STI known as Clamydia is awful - it in many cases has no symptoms - you can go for a long time not knowing you have it and without treatment you can end up infertile! - Like J_9 has said we are not trying to lecture you just point out facts which we know about and have experience of.

[5tumble_n_fall]

I was tested last year for all sti's and I had nothing

[J_9]

But I thought you have never been to the doc? Maybe we are confusing something.

Have you had your yearly PAP smear at the GYN?

I thought you never had been.

[DJ 'H']

One thing you still have not answered - Have you worked out the days you ovulate??

[J_9]

How regular are your periods?

How often do you have sex in trying to get pregnant?

If you can answer the 3 questions H and I have asked you maybe we can help more.

[DJ 'H']

How regular are your periods?

How often do you have sex in trying to get pregnant?

If you can answer the 3 questions H and I have asked you maybe we can help more.

We are trying to help you - but unless you work with us here we can't!

[J_9]

I know we gave you a lecutre, but sometimes reality has to smack us in the face to wake us up.

I am sure H will agree with that one!!

We just wanted to provide you with cold hard facts so that you are sure you are making the right decision.