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annie22 · Nov 12, 2006, 10:16 AM

Hey! I'm married got 2 little cute girls one of them is a year and two months old and the other is almost amonth.
I want to know how to take care of them both and take care of the house, the cooking and myself, I don't sleep much cause I don't have time to do all that. My one year old she's extremely spoiled want me to pick her most of the time , she cries a lot and wants to have everything, when she doesn't get it she get into her fit. And she get very jealous of her sister what should I do HELP!! :(

Fr_Chuck · Nov 12, 2006, 10:55 AM

So she crys for a while till she figures you are not going to pick up up all the time.

Let her have some fits, it won't hurt her.

And of course that is what fathers are for to help with things also.

Join a mothers day out program, some are done though churches, others just groups of parents. Get another mom to take turn wathing each others kids for a day off.

Learn that your house is not going to look at "house beautiful magazine" with two kids in the house.

I raised four boys and we were happy if it did not look like a war zone in our home most of the time.

J_9 · Nov 12, 2006, 11:04 AM

Boy do I remember those days!!

I too had to learn that the house does not have to be immaculate, only child safe. I too had to learn that it is okay for your little one to cry. Actually it is healthier in the long run, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

As the good Fr. Chuck said: let her have some fits, it won't hurt her. That is so right!! It will actually be good for her and begin to teach her independence.

You are not supermom, and if you think you can be remember that your cape is at the cleaners. This was an addage that I lived with for a long time. Sometimes still do.

shygrneyzs · Nov 12, 2006, 11:18 AM

Hi there,
Have you read any information from Dr. Brazelton on child rearing? He is an excellent resource.
http://www.brazelton.org/main.html
http://www.babycenter.com/?h=true
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/

Time management is really a tough one - how helpful is your husband? Do you have family close that someone can come in and help you a couple times a week even? To give you a break? Do you do meal planning for a week at a time - using a crock pot eases some of the cooking stress. I realize you have a great many expectations and demands placed on you - but you need to find out how to delegate some of that out to people who can help you. I worry about your own physical health, not to mention being emotionally exhausted.

About your oldest child - you may well have to allow her to have her tantrums and not pick her up each time. Unspoiling a child is a lot harder than spoiling one. Allowing a child, even an infant, to cry is not a bad thing. Even removing the child with the tantrum to another room for, in this case, a very short period, is not a bad thing either.

Is there a group of moms with preschool children in your community that you can access? Other moms surely have faced similar problems and can give you some solid advice. Maybe even through your church. I do not know your community resources but perhaps you can find out. There are some places that have the Early Head Start Centers that children younger than three can access. Does not mean your daughter HAS to go there all day - but even a couple hours a couple times a week.

I truly wish you all the best. You have more than your hands full and hope you get the physical and moral support you need.

Angelikat · Feb 9, 2007, 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by annie22

hey!! im married got 2 little cute girls one of them is a year and two months old and the other is almost amonth.
i want to know how to take care of them both and take care of the house, the cooking and myself, i dont sleep much cause i dont have time to do all that. my one year old she's extremely spoiled want me to pick her most of the time , she cries alot and wants to have everything, when she doesnt get it she get into her fit. and she get very jealous of her sister what should i do HELP!!!:(

Enjoy your kids while they are young, before you know it they will be a teenager & you will wonder what happened to time... Don't sweat the small stuff...

Mrsjessiejames · Feb 11, 2007, 05:16 PM

I had 2 under 2 and I know its not easy. I do agree with some of the things that were said it won't hurt her to cry but it can be heart breaking to listen to even worst when you already feel down. I found a naughty spot worked best for me. I went and brought a chair in the colour she didn't like and put it in the hall so she had nothing to do. When all was carm and happy we had a little talk and explaned what would happen. Then with some time she got the hang of it. She didn't like sitting there so once I said "you'll go to the Time out chair!" she would stop. As for the house a friend told me about a way to get things done. Its called fly lady (I don't know why) What you do is give yourself 15 min to clean a day. In that 15 min you pick one spot that is the worst and clean it completely ( not just moving it around) Once your house is back in order ( it might take some time) you use that 15min to have a tidy up all over. Good luck!

kewlkat · Apr 22, 2008, 06:56 PM

Let her cry she will get over it and once it come to being jelous of the baby let her help have her hold the diaper during diaper changes have fun while doing it. I love nap time nap time is heaven it is a nice silent break where Mommies can get cleaning done. I also got told to wait until last minute to pick up toys like 1 hr before hubby gets home so he can come home to a clean home and be relaxed lol it works trust me