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    mae456's Avatar
    mae456 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Dec 6, 2009, 10:21 PM
    What to do when your hung up on someone?
    I can't seem to get my ex out of my head. We still talk sometimes and we both still have strong feelings for each other (we broke up because of the distance). Neither one of us has dated anyone since we broke up nearly a year ago... I don't know why it's so hard to move on.

    What I really need help understanding is why I feel this way... and subsequently what I should do ?
    If anyone has been in this situation or has advice that can help please comment on this! I'd really appreciate it!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #2

    Dec 6, 2009, 11:19 PM
    Why can't you work it out if distance is the only issue?

    Are you sure there aren't any other major reasons you broke up?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #3

    Dec 7, 2009, 10:27 AM

    You stop getting your feelings stirred up by not keeping in touch with them, so you can heal. Or you figure out ways to work things out, despite the distance.

    You will never get over someone you are in constant contact with.
    sabrewolfe's Avatar
    sabrewolfe Posts: 420, Reputation: 96
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    #4

    Dec 7, 2009, 10:35 AM
    If you want to get over her, stop talking to her for one thing.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #5

    Dec 7, 2009, 10:40 AM
    You've gotten some good advice - just stop communicating with her at all. You can't heal when you keep torturing yourself with the little bits and pieces of talk that goes on between you. No contact is your answer.
    mae456's Avatar
    mae456 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Dec 7, 2009, 02:52 PM

    OK thanks everyone for your advice! I guess we just have to cut all communication :( and by the way I'm the her, he's the him lol.
    And to I wish-Relationship Expert the distance really was the only reason we broke up which is why I guess it's hard to get over him because he never did anything to me.. he was actually really great.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #7

    Dec 7, 2009, 02:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mae456 View Post
    the distance really was the only reason we broke up which is why I guess it's hard to get over him because he never did anything to me.. he was actually really great.
    If that's really the case, then try to work things out.

    Otherwise, if there's no hope of reconciliation, then it's better to cut contact so that you can completely heal from this break up.

    You can be friends one day, once your feelings are gone. But until then, it's best to leave each other alone.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
    		  
    #8

    Dec 7, 2009, 03:51 PM

    In a way, it would have been easier had there been a big falling out, or an affair, or a reason, other than distance.

    No wonder this is hard to deal with.

    But, it has been a year, and it may be time to sever ties, in order to completely get over him.

    It's hard to move forward when one foot is still in the past.
    mae456's Avatar
    mae456 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #9

    Dec 7, 2009, 07:40 PM

    To I wish: I think I'm going to take your advice... it seems to be the only way to move on...

    To Jake2008: What you said "It's hard to move forward when one foot is still in the past" is very true and profound... I never thought about it like that. Thanks so much for the advice I see things in a different perspective now.
    ninjajr92's Avatar
    ninjajr92 Posts: 54, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #10

    Dec 7, 2009, 07:57 PM

    Well it seems to me you have two choices. One is to work it out until you guys can see each other more often. Two, break the contact and move forward with your life. If it was meant to be, you'll meet him once again. =] Good luck!
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